For a lot of bodies, there may be one week - out of most months - where you're "stuck" dealing with a menstrual period. Whether you believe it's a blessed part of your life cycle - or you're just annoyed and wish it would stop doing that, you still have to deal with it.
How to Have Period Sex - with No Mess
While your period can affect your life anywhere you go (smuggling period care products into the bathroom, anyone?), being on your period can have a drastic effect on your sex life, too. There are very few places in your day-to-day life where your period parts happen to be on display quite as clearly as during intimate time with yourself - or with a partner.
As the conversation around period sex has started to become more mainstream - and people have started to be open about all of the benefits of period sex and "menstrubation," we're slowly flipping the script on the idea that intercourse and sex are "off the table" during your period.
That doesn't mean that everything is fine and dandy though. Period blood can still be a pain during sex. Not only can it stain things if you get it where it isn't wanted, but some people are still uncomfortable with period blood itself - which can definitely put a damper on having some otherwise-hot sex - especially if your monthly cycle amps up your arousal right when you're bleeding.
However, there are some ways to manage your period during sex - if you have concerns, that is. I want to reiterate that having a period is a biological process that your body does naturally - much like using the bathroom, sleeping, eating, or sweating. If you don't want to change anything about your routine to have intercourse on your period, you certainly don't have to.
But just in case you do, here are some of my suggestions about how to have period sex - with as minimal "mess" as possible:
Use a Sex-Friendly Menstruation Cup
You've probably heard about menstrual cups. They're all the rage lately - and for good reason! Not only does it eliminate the cost of period products (buy one, and you're done, no need to buy anything by the box), but it's also fully reusable, way better for the environment, and better for your body too!
However, up until recently, while menstrual cups could be worn all day long during almost all activities, there was one place where menstrual cups couldn't go - and that was during intercourse.
New innovations have made menstrual cups safe for intercourse though - and one of those sex-friendly menstrual cups is the Ziggy by INTIMINA. Ziggy is an intercourse-friendly menstrual cup. Whether you're using sex toys or enjoying yourself with a partner, Ziggy's unique shape provides all of the benefits of a reusable menstrual cup - but with a design that's friendly for penetration. (Did you know that we have an INTIMINA Ziggy review too?! We were keeping track of this handy gadget three years ago!)
If your goal is zero contact with menstrual blood, a sex-friendly menstruation cup is the clear winner here. There are other ways to reduce contact with blood and make for easier clean-up, but if you're going for a total reduction of menstruation blood for you or your partner's comfort, a period cup made for sex is really my best recommendation.
Prepare the Area - Just in Case
If you're using something like the Ziggy, the likelihood of leaks is pretty small if you have it inserted. However, there's no reason not to toss down a dark-colored towel. The dark-colored towel has been the star of the period intercourse show for years now - and for a reason: it works. Just to give yourself peace of mind, toss down that towel. As an added bonus, it means no one is going to be laying down on a wet spot afterwards anyway!
Know Your Heavy/Lighter Days
Let's be real: unless you're using a menstrual cup for sex, you might end up with some blood during intercourse. How much blood, however, can really vary depending on what part of your cycle you're in. If you have a semi-predictable cycle and know what your light and heavy days are, consider delaying penetration and insertable sex until the lighter days if the blood may be a concern. I consider this a fantastic time to experiment with lots of teasing - and foreplay - to make sure that your sex is really, really hot by the time it rolls around.
Use a Condom
If you're enjoying sex with a penis-owning human (or a dildo! Whatever works for you!), using a condom can be the simplest way to reduce period blood touching places you don't want it. When the intercourse is over, just slip off the condom and put it straight into the trash. Depending on your flow, there might be some blood along the pelvis of the penis-owning partner, but a condom can make clean-up of the majority of blood a breeze.
Plus, it means safer sex. Win-win!
Use Period-Friendly Sex Positions
You know how gravity works, right? Well, it happens to work the same way for period blood. Sex positions where you're upright - or where the hips are tilted towards the ground - are going to make period blood more likely. If the goal is to reduce contact with period blood, go for positions that tilt your hips towards the sky. The Eagle position is exactly what I mean.
Bonus: tilting your hips that way can be great for hitting the g-spot during intercourse too!
Shower Before Sex
While showering right before sex won't eliminate all period blood, it certainly can reduce the amount of period blood that's in the area. If you feel more comfortable hopping into the shower before sex or intercourse, go ahead and do so! A fresh shower can make anyone feel more "ready" for sex - period or not!
Pro tip: In your effort to reduce blood in the area, try not to "flush out" the vagina. You're unlikely to get all of the period blood that's inside the body anyway - but you are likely to cause microtears or irritation that penetration may make worse. If eliminating the chance of encounter blood during intercourse is top of your list, I recommend a sex-friendly menstruation cup.
Use a Vibe Through your Clothes/Pads
There's no reason that you have to go straight to intercourse while considering period sex options. In fact, if the idea of vaginal penetration isn't doing it for you that day, consider skipping it entirely. A lot of wand massagers have enough power to bring you to orgasm clitorally - without even needing to remove your clothes! For days where insertable period products are just not on the docket, this can even be done through period pads with minimal problems.
Even if it isn't for period reasons, lots of people use powerful vibrators through their clothing. Just add/remove layers of clothing to help adjust the intensity of the vibrations.
Clothed pleasure doesn't have to be a solo activity though. If you want to involve a partner, you can easily go back to the early days of sex - where grinding was a mainstay in your sex life. Consider making it a fun "rule" for your sexual activity that day: no underwear can be removed. Removing some of your usual options can force you to get a bit creative - and find other ways to enjoy pleasure while clothing is still on. Grinding against one another can still be very-orgasmic - and if you're still having issues achieving the orgasms you want, consider using vibrators on one another through your clothing. Sex toys are there to help!
Use Sex Toys as Intermediaries
If either of you doesn't want to have any shared contact with period blood, you can always use sex toys as intermediaries. No one says "intercourse' has to include your partner's biological parts that day. Instead, using a sex toy allows you both to enjoy the experience of penetration - but there doesn't need to be any direct contact with period blood on one person's body. Just make sure your sex toys are non-porous and sterilizable; silicone sex toys work great for this!
Consider Anal Sex
For some people, this is a hard limit - and for others, it's probably their number one go-to if they want intercourse while bleeding. Since anal sex avoids the vagina entirely, you'll avoid all encounters with blood (if you're wearing internal period protection) or most encounters with blood (if you're wearing external period protection). It isn't for everybody, but if this is on your "yes please!" list of pleasure, remember that it exists around your period - because this can be a great way to still be intimate without worrying about period blood.
Ready for Menstrual Sex?
Remember: your period is a natural part of who you are. While you might want to reduce the mess of period blood during sex, that doesn't make period blood "gross" or "dirty" - just a bit of an inconvenience at the time. I hope these tips help you figure out the best way to make sex on your period perfect for you - and perfect for your partner. Everyone is different, and what works for you may not be what works for someone else.
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.