Show of hands...have you ever bought something, and it revolutionized your life? A dress with pockets (because POCKETS) or a special flavored coffee creamer that turns your homemade coffee into something more delicious than drive thru? You find a thing, fall in love and any time it makes sense to talk about it (and sometimes when it doesn’t), you tell people about it.
It’s not a gendered thing. We all do it. I’ve listened to too many older cis-men from my rural upbringing talk about manure, tires, and dog food to think otherwise. When we as humans find something we love, we tell someone about it.
So for those of us who regularly use and enjoy sex toys, it makes sense that we’re going to tell people about the ones we love (and the ones we hate). Contrary to what mainstream media and society would have us believe, sex is not something separate from the rest of our lived experiences.
You can like true crime podcasts, binge watching trash on Netflix, AND masturbation, pleasure, and sex toys. You can do CrossFit, knit wine koozies, AND put your nude pics online for people to masturbate to. Sex is one part of a very complex life, and the most basic form of pleasure, masturbation, shouldn’t be taboo... for anyone.
Sharing as a Way to Educate
If you’re a frequent reader of Kinkly or an inhabiter of the sexier parts of the internet, you know sex toys and masturbation go hand in hand (pun absolutely intended). Think about how you know that. It's because people talk about what they’ve experienced, the toys they’ve tried, and how it made them feel.
When you find an experience you connect with, you might think, “Hm, maybe I should try that toy, too.”
Sharing our sexual experiences, in ways that allow us to feel safe and empowered, provides information and insight in a world where the majority of us never learned medically-accurate sex education. Not to mention never, ever learning the consent-focused, empowering sex education that we all deserved to learn.
It’s up to those of us who are willing to share our experiences to say, “This sex toy made my toes curl, my skin tingle, and my clit pulse!” That’s one of the reasons I try vibrators, like the LELO SONA 2 Cruise, and share my experiences online. Not because I expect everyone to love the toys I love, but because I’m one voice among many sharing my insight. All to help anyone shopping for sex toys have a better chance of finding something they enjoy.
Sharing as a Way to Normalize
I was 32 before I masturbated for the first time and nearly 33 before I used my first sex toy. Before that first orgasm, when I was talking myself into masturbating at all, I decided I would chronicle my experiences online. Not because I thought anyone would read them, but because I need a space to put my thoughts and feelings into words. I wanted proof that it happened, that I had these thoughts, that the orgasms did (or didn’t) come.
An entire world of pleasure and sensation opened up from that first orgasm. The sheer joy I felt over the responses of my own body felt magical. A far cry from the shame I felt in my teenage years. Just like that dress with pockets, I wanted to tell everyone I knew about the wondrousness of self-pleasure. I didn’t know anyone, but I had a public space to share. And so I did.
Over the years, I began to review sex toys, like the original SONA Cruise and now the SONA 2 Cruise. I try sex toys to tell other people my experiences. Like the reality that sonic waves against my clit nearly turn me inside out with pleasure. Like letting people know that you can use quiet sex toys in a home with no privacy (hi to my kids across the hall who can hear me whisper the walls are so thing) as long as you can choke back your own cries of pleasure.
I don’t share because I think everyone will have the same experience, but to help other people find a sex toy that suits their needs or eliminate one that won’t. Plus, I do it normalize my experience with sexual pleasure. So we’re going to talk about heartbeat-like throbs in my clit, and we’re going to talk about squirting. Both to share and to help other women realize there’s nothing wrong with those moments, that they’re normal.
The more voices that join in to talk about the sex toys we love (and hate), the more shopping for a sex toy becomes like shopping for anything else. I won’t buy a new TV without reading at least a dozen reviews, and I certainly won’t buy a new sex toy without reading a dozen reviews. The only thing in that example that society deems a “normal” activity is shopping for the TV. Which is why it’s so important that we continue to tell people about the sex toys we love -- either publicly or privately with friends we trust.
It’s one step in reducing stigma and shame about sexual pleasure, masturbation, and the toys that provide it, but it also helps get more great sex toys into more bedrooms and hands -- and against sensitive body parts that crave extra sensation.
So, How Good is the SONA 2 Cruise?
How can I tease you with mentions of the SONA 2 Cruise, brag about my life talking about sex toys, and not mention my experience? Full disclosure, I received the SONA 2 Cruise from LELO in exchange for an honest review. I’m a clit girl... meaning that’s my hot button, my fun zone, my happy place, my on switch. However, my clit is a bit of a diva... or a Goldilocks. She doesn’t like vibrations to be too much or too little, but just right. That's what makes the SONA 2 Cruise so great, I can adjust to what feels good to my body while focusing the stimulation where I crave it most, directly on my clit.
While I’m a lover of big and direct vibrations, SONA 2 Cruise is unique because it doesn’t use vibrations -- it uses sonic waves. (Mind. Blown.) If you put your finger on the opening, you can feel the air pulsing, gently.
Think of it as a massage for your clitoris and just your clitoris. So if you know your clit is THE spot for you, and you want something other than the I-AM-VIBRATOR-HERE-ME-ROAR types of sex toys, the SONA 2 Cruise joins the ranks of beloved clit stimulators as one to use and enjoy over and over again.
And if you love it, talk about it so others learn just how normal masturbation and sexual pleasure really are.