There are so many misconceptions surrounding pussies and elasticity. But here's the thing: there’s no “right” amount of vaginal tightness. In fact, the average vagina is 3-4 inches long and can expand up to 200% during sexual arousal. Virgin vaginas aren’t necessarily tighter and people who’ve given birth or get laid a lot aren’t necessarily looser.
When the chance came up to try out the Elvie Kegel trainer, my pussy was ready to take its skills to the next level and pursue athletic perfection. In 1947, OB/GYN Dr. Arnold Kegel designed a series of exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor. The technique? To contract and squeeze the vaginal walls for 6 to 8 seconds (with an empty bladder), then relax the muscles. The idea was to repeat the exercise 10 times, two or three times per day. At the time, it was intended to prevent urinary incontinence and was very effective, with more than a 90% success rate.
Kegel exercisers like Elvie aim to take Kegel training to a whole new level. So, in the name of gold medal excellence, I channeled my best Lindsey Vonn. I warmed-up with light masturbation, stayed hydrated, and trained with a specific goal in mind: To flex my vagina like a boss and grip a penis with ultimate control. I had no aspiration to become the next Kim Anami, the professional vaginal lifter. I dare you to peep her Instagram – her wonder cunt lifts chandeliers - and it's a great example of just how strong a vagina can be!
The Elvie app lets you pick one of three workout goals: maintain fitness, build strength or challenge yourself. In my pre-pussy training research, I learned there’s also a female-focused technique that covers this special skill called the art of pompoir. The more you know.
The Elvie is a sleek, small and waterproof device that comes in a case that looks like a charging sarcophagus. The minty green device links to an app that visualizes your vaginal and pubococcygeous, or PC, muscle movements via biofeedback technology. The app walks you through a series of six, 5-minute guided exercises. The PC muscle is a web-like sling that stretches from the pubic bone to the coccyx (tail bone) and supports the uterus, bladder and small intestine. You know the muscle you use to stop pee mid-stream? Those are the PC muscles.
Basically, lay on your back, spread your legs and insert the silicone device into your vagina. Hold the app near the vicinity of your vulva and squeeze your pelvic floor muscles to various Super Mario Bros-esque game-like scenarios. If you need lube, stick to a water-based variety. (Silicone lube and toys don't always play well together.) The harder you contract, the higher you lift the virtual gem to meet multiple exercise goals. As you increase your vaginal strength, you progress from Training, to Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced levels. Think a Fitbit for your pussy minus a competitive strategy.
There are several upsides to having a strong vagina and pelvic floor. For one, it can enable the elusive vaginal orgasm. It can also give your penis-having partners stronger orgasms and prevent urinary incontinence.
I’m competitive AF and love that you can track your progress and monitor your workouts. My only gripe? I’d love to add an interactive element, like a virtual squeeze-off of sorts with pussies around the cybersphere. Think "Words With Friends" but geared toward pussy control and precision.
So, did Kegel training with the Elvie work? By the end of the month, I’d aced all the exercises and was scoring 100% across the board with ease. I’d like to think I started from a place of decent muscle control. I’m confident in my sexual abilities and my partners frequently comment on how grippy my pussy is.
Read: My Pussy, Personified
But how would that strength translate to my sex life? As it turns out, I had penis-in-vagina sex with a regular partner shortly after I wrapped up the one-month regimen and he couldn’t shut up about how tight my pussy was. We’ve had sex countless times, and while it’s always been really good, there was something next-level about this encounter. He could barely fit two fingers inside me and had the most enthusiastic orgasm I’ve had with a penis-haver – ever. I was able to slowly and intentionally milk his cock to orgasm, and after he came, clench his shaft repeatedly to a series of “oohs,” “ahhs,” and ‘fuck yeahs” until I pushed his penis out.
I felt like a high-level athlete with my super-strong vagina. I got off on the glowing sexual praise and what my partner dubbed, my “magical pussy.” I basically clinched my tight pussy personal best.If you want to keep your vagina in tip-top shape, the Elvie is well-worth a daily five-minute workout. Penis-havers may get all the hype for having external genitalia, but don’t underestimate the internal power of the mighty pussy. Adding Kegel exercises to your routine - with or without the Elvie - is super easy. Because sometimes it's what you can’t see that matters most.