If you live in a climate where winter months mean ice and snow and the inclination to hibernate in front of a cozy fire, adding a bit of extra warmth to your sex play is probably going to sound pretty good right about now.
Heat it Up or Keep Your Cool: 5 Fabulous Ways to Explore Temperature Play
Of course, summer temperatures can drive even the most aroused among us to avoiding intimate body contact with our partners. After all, you're already sweating just from sitting on the couch - having sex is just going to make it worse. These are the times to use the heat to your advantage and select sex toys that will cool you both down as things start to heat up.
The joy of temperature play is that you can incorporate cool sensations to help keep you from bursting into flames when it's hot, AND warm things up when it is snowing and blowing outside. It isn't hard to see why a lot of people enjoy spicing things up with this orgasmic addition to their sex lives.
Finding ways to incorporate temperature play into the bedroom doesn't have to be difficult; in fact, you may already have toys in your home that can be warmed or chilled. Even if you don't own any sex toys, a quick look around the house might prove profitable for your sexual adventure. Get creative - and heat things up (or stay cool!) - with these tips.
One of the simplest ways to begin your experimentation with temperature play is through your lubricant. Most lubricant comes in a water-friendly bottle. Now, just fill up a tall glass with ice cold or extremely hot water. (Avoid boiling temperature!)
Now, drop your sealed lubricant bottle right into this tall glass of water! As the bottle sits in the water, the lube will begin to take on the temperature of its surroundings: i.e. the water. For the smoothest experience and just in case your bottle has a leak you don't know about, I recommend ensuring the water level in the glass hits below the lid and cap of your bottle. Watering down your sex lube is not the goal here!
Now, when you remove the bottle of lube, you'll have a few pours from it at its new, temperature-changed feel.
(Protip: You can use this method for massage oils too!)
If you prefer to go the chemical route for lubed temperature play, there are now quite a few sex lubes that include warming or chilling ingredients. Menthol, for example, is a common additive to sex lubricants to achieve a cooling effect.
Unlike simply changing the temperature of your familiar lube ingredient formulation, however, some people may be sensitive to the heating/chilled chemicals. This means your body may react too strongly to the ingredients - or it may cause a burning in your sensitive bits instead of the refreshing temperature change you were expecting.
I always recommend doing a spot test on your wrist before playing with a new temperature play lubricant, and even then, the effects on your wrist will not directly translate to how soft, mucous membranes may react to the lubricant.
At the same time, chemically-inducing temperature play has a much longer lifespan than simply warming or chilling the bottle. When you want your temperature play to last the entire scene, this can be a huge bonus.
So, you'll have to weigh your pros and cons about which method works best for your needs.
Hot N Cold Temperature Vibrator
There aren't too many vibrators on the market designed just for temperature play, but we found one for you: the Deia Hot & Cold. This vibrating temperature play toy can either heat or chill - it's entirely up to you! Its long, slender design works great for external temperature play, but it transitions just as effortlessly to penetration as well.
One of the neat things about the Deia Hot & Cold is that it also vibrates. Unlike the temperature sex toys of old (most that have been discontinued at this point!), the Deia Hot & Cold partners its temperature-changing abilities with 10 vibration settings. So, you can have the temperature you want - with the pleasurable vibrations that make that temperature play feel even better. Mix and match the temperature settings with the vibration options for 32 different sensations - all in one, single toy.
I also kinda love how the Hot N Cold vibe can transition between uses too. In the winter, when you want warming, it delivers. In the summer, where a hot toy is the last thing you want, it can deliver a refreshing chill. It's a year-round win.
While some sex toys are starting to come out with warming features, they aren't necessarily designed for temperature play. Most warming vibrators are specifically crafted to warm a toy up to body temperature for a welcoming experience when the toy is first picked up. By contrast, a temperature play vibrator, like the Deia Hot N Cold, can chill and heat, and its unique offering is crafted to be swapped up during sex.
Stainless Steel Sex Toys
Some sex toy materials happen to lend themselves to temperature play.
Stainless steel happens to be one of those materials. When placed in a warm or cold environment, stainless steel quickly adapts to the temperature and becomes warmed or chilled. This works to your advantage for chilling temperature play. Leave a waterproof stainless steel toy in a bin of ice cubes or cold water for a bit, and it will become cold. If you're lazy, you can even just leave it in front of a strong-blowing fan or AC.
Looking for warmth? Leave that very same waterproof stainless steel sex toy in a bath of hot water for a bit.
(NEVER microwave, freeze, or oven bake your sex toys - for the obvious reasons!)
Unlike a temperature play vibrator, though, the stainless steel toy doesn't have any longevity behind its temperature function, so it will begin to chill or warm to body heat. Keep a second temperature play sex toy on stand-by if you want the temperature play to continue.
Glass Sex Toys
A more affordable alternative to stainless steel sex toys, glass toys can also be used for temperature play. Treated much like the stainless steel toys, they can be cooled or warmed depending on your needs and wants. They may, however, require a bit more time to retain those temperatures compared to stainless steel materials.
While ice cubes aren't technically a sex toy, they have been a staple for chilling temperature play for a long time. Ice cubes are cheap and easy to come by, but they can be dragged along the skin for a pleasurable feel. For best results, allow an ice cube to melt slightly before placing it on the skin; this will allow the ice cube to slide easily over the surface of the skin and may even leave a trail of water behind. If you don't let it melt a bit, you'll get a freezing-cold sensation that wants to stick to skin instead of gliding.
Adding specialized ice cube trays can take your temperature play to the next level. Consider ice cube trays meant for water bottle ice cubes for long, slender ice cubes that look like they have their own handles. Consider whiskey ball ice cube trays for giant, round ice cube balls that can be rolled around the skin. Specialized ice cube trays can really up the fun level on your temperature play.
And don't forget to make some extra ice cubes, too! You never know if you'll want to extend playtime, and extending playtime is only problematic if you don't have back-up ice cubes ready.
(Avoid inserting ice cubes into orifices! While you may have seen it done in erotica or porn, these super-cold temperatures can be damaging to internal tissue - and hard to remove if you are finding them painful. Using a sex toy, like the Deia Hot & Cold, for insertion is a better fit if you really want things to slide inside. Surface play only with ice cubes!)
Bonus: Your Favorite Sex Toy at a Custom Temp!
Virtually any sex toy without a motor can go into the refrigerator (not the freezer!). Even if it isn't made from glass or silicone, it can still go - temporarily - into the refrigerator. If it's your dream to feel your silicone toy chilled to the touch, just slip it into the refrigerator for a few hours - and you'll be good to go!
And any waterproof toy can go into a glass of warm water (or run it under the hot tap for a bit.) Boiling water will wreck it, so don't go too hot, but a nice warm bath will heat things up nicely.
Less thermal-reactive materials, like silicone, won't change nearly as much as glass or stainless steel - and those warmer or cooler temps will leave them pretty quickly, but if you want a quick trial to see if temperature play is for you, it's a simple and easy way to give it a whirl.
Get to Experimenting!
These methods don't have to be the only ways that you experiment. If you come up with other ways to enjoy some temperature sensations during foreplay and sex, feel free to include them in your bedroom activities - and of course, share your secret so everyone else can try it for themselves!
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.