Most vulva-owners, at one point or another, have embarked on a quest to find the perfect, the best, the most stimulating sex positions.
One position that gets a lot of well-deserved attention for being all that and more is having the vulva-owner being on top of their partner or their favorite plaything.
But did you also know that this position can come in a vast assortment of styles and forms? So many that there’s practically one for every body-type, degree of flexibility and comfort, or physical limitation.
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This all means that although being on top may not immediately be your cup of erotic tea, a few of these on-top positions might just entice you to experiment—and, who knows, maybe even become a sexual favorite in the days, months, or years going forward.
So here of that wide selection are six of our personal favorites. Though, as with anything to do with sex, please feel free to try out others or invent your own variations.
No discussion about getting your body into this or that sexual configuration is ever complete without a brief detour to talk about our bodies and the fact that certain positions simply won’t be comfortable, or enjoyable, to get into.
And there’s nothing wrong in that. Evolution has, after all, blessed us with bodies as diverse as our minds and personalities—all of which is what makes us so beautifully, uniquely human.
This means it’s ridiculous to assume that everyone can find sexual satisfaction with every position. What works for you, for example, might be painful for me, or vice versa.
Trying out new sexual activities can lead to discovering new enjoyments, but don't blame yourself or your partner if you can’t bend, twist or fold your bodies into the contortions shown in sex position guides.
Rather, find what works best for you and your partner’s pleasure. Because, when all’s said and done, that should always be the only thing that matters when it comes to sex.
Let’s get things rolling with a classic on top position: traditionally called the Cowgirl, let's go with "The Cowperson," to recognize that anatomy doesn’t define a person’s gender.
The benefits of this position are multifold. It’s ideal, for instance, if the person on the bottom has mobility concerns, as they basically just have to lay there; though some upward pelvic thrusts can also be a welcome addition.
It also gives the person on top the ability to adjust themselves as they see fit, like rolling their hips forward, side-to-side, or, if they are comfortable doing so, squatting rather than sitting on their partner.
If there’s any real downside to this position it’s that occasionally it can be tricky to keep whatever’s penetrating inside. Again, it’s all up to the people involved but some have found by repositioning the rider’s hips they can find the optimal way to make this often extremely enjoyable position work for everyone involved.
Read: 5 Simple Super-Hot Sex Positions to Try Tonight
Though it may first appear that we’re just flipping the sexual-position script, having the person on top face away from their partner can bring its own set of potential pleasures.
Remember how we brought up how cowgirl, the non-reverse variety, that is, can every now-and-again be tricky to stay penetrated? Well, another solution beyond some pelvic readjustments is to turn things around and instead try out this reverse version.
An extra plus is that the person-on-top can rest their hands on their partner’s legs and thighs for extra security and control.
For those who enjoy kissing or gazing into their partner’s eyes during sex, but also want to be on top, then we recommend trying out the face-to-face.
We won’t lie to you that this one can be a tad on the tricky side to get into and maintain, but we’ve found that making sure the person on the bottom is as comfortable as possible, with good back support or such, can make a world of difference.
For the person on top, meanwhile, this position can be enjoyable as it allows that aforementioned kissing and gazing but they can additionally regulate how deeply they are penetrated and where by using their hips and by lifting themselves, (or pushing themselves down,) using their partner’s shoulders.
Read: 5 Intimate Sex Positions to Bring You Closer, Literally
As with the reverse cowperson, the face-to-back turns the face-to-face 180 degrees.
Also as that other reverse position, the face-to-back brings with it some potentially hot options for on-top sexual play including using toys, particularly those that stimulate the clitoris.
While the person on top might lose the ability to use their partner to balance, they gain a different angle of penetration and, also like the reverse cowgirl, can use their partner's knees and thighs to gain some added control.
Read: 8 Hot Sex Positions That Are Even Hotter With Sex Toys
When it comes to sexual positions, we’re all more than what we happen to sport below the belt—and when it comes to oral pleasures, face-riding is a five star favorite for a great many folx.
But before we get into the pros and the cons, it’s worth mentioning that on the giving end of this activity some do, and some don’t, enjoy the sensation of being enveloped by their partner’s body. Because of this, always use that all-important tool of everything sexual: communication. Talk with your partner about their own needs and desires before just jumping into this position.
On the receiving end, face-sitting can be a real delight as it allows them to move their body to get their partner’s mouth, and all the fun parts of it, just where they need it. It can sometimes also provide a nice domination-style kick as well, which is why it’s often a favorite among vulva-owning dominants.
Read: Lick It Good! Four Ways to Improve Your Cunnilingus Skills
Rest assured, arachnophobes, this is a position that won’t give you the heeby-jeebies.
The idea of quite simple, though it can be frequently challenging to achieve. Both partners lay on their backs or propped up a bit, either by pillows or your own arms, with genitals towards each other, and then move forward so that one can be penetrated by the other.
A common benefit is that both parties are on their backs, causing less stress and strain which can allow a relaxed and even medicative sex session. Another is that this also may give a different kind of vulva stimulation, including for those who can experience them a possible G-spot orgasm.
Read: The 5 Best Sex Positions to Send Your Partner to G-Spot Heaven
Those were just a quickie sampling of what vulva-owners might enjoy when they take the reins, so do speak, and take a ride.
They and other similar positions might be up your alley. In which case, congratulations: you’ve discovered something new and wonderful about yourself and your sexuality!
But if not, then here’s an equally hearty congratulations: you’re also found out something important about who you are and what you enjoy!
Because, always and forever, sex is never about racking up points on a scorecard but having a good time—and being on top could very well lead you and your partner have just that … and more!
M.Christian is an author who has been published in science fiction, fantasy, horror, thrillers, and even nonfiction, but it is in erotica that M.Christian has become an acknowledged master, with stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and in fact too many anthologies, magazines, and sites to name. In addition to writing, M.Christian is a respected sex and BDSM educator, having taught classes on everything from polyamory to tit torture for venues such as the SF Citadel, Good Vibrations, COPE (in Columbus, Ohio), Beat Me In St. Louis, Winter Fire, Floating World, Sin In The City (Las Vegas), Dark Odyssey, and many others.
