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Daddy

Updated: JULY 28, 2022
Reviewed by Kinkly Staff
on July 27, 2022

Daddy is a wide-ranging term used across many different sexual situations and sexualities to describe a dominant partner in a relationship. Daddy is most commonly used in a power exchange relationship, where one partner identifies as submissive to the dominant Daddy. A Daddy can be stern or caring, can inflict punishment and provide rewards and can assume that role during sex and in real life, depending on the relationship. In most instances, Daddy refers to a male partner, though the term can also be used by anyone who wants to adopt a Daddy persona. Daddies can be found in many different relationship structures and the term is not limited to any specific sexuality.

Central to most uses of Daddy is the idea of a father figure who provides both discipline and protection. Daddies, as dominants, often lead and guide both sexual and real-life scenarios. While the term is restricted to age dynamics, Daddy partners are often older and deemed more mature.

People use the term Daddy in different ways, depending on the desired relationship and dynamics. For some, just calling someone Daddy elicits a thrill that evokes both discipline and nurturing. Some Daddies provide both physical and emotional dominance, including spanking, paddling, and verbal rebukes and lectures. They will also provide cuddling, hugs and soothing, tender words to offer care. All of these can happen within a sexual context or completely outside of sex. Some Daddies help guide their partners through everyday “adulting” activities.

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Another use of Daddy is in Daddy Dom/little girl (and equivalents for different gender and sexuality dynamics) feature varying degrees of age and role play around the roles of a parental-figure and child-like partners. These relationships are more overt in their roles, and are more likely to involve age-specific clothing, props, and mannerisms and language.

More About Daddy

Daddy is a very curious term in a sexual context. Given its main societal usage denoting an actual parent of young children, that it has been so readily adopted into adult and sexual relationships is somewhat mystifying considering how very separate we generally choose to keep these two worlds. It is believed that Daddy was first used in a parental sense, but when it transitioned into being used in adult relationships is unclear. However, it has been widely adopted in language, including hardcore BDSM.

Choosing to use the term Daddy in your relationship is something to negotiate between partners; not everyone will feel comfortable with the term. While some relationships will include distinct dominance and submission, consent is still the cornerstone of such a relationship. If you’d like to introduce the Daddy term or dynamic into your relationship, discuss it in advance. Given how prevalent negative “daddy issues” are - for both dominants and submissives - you don’t want to accidentally trigger your partner.

One important discussion to have is how much “Daddy” there will be in your relationship. Is it a term used to spice things up in the bedroom sometimes? Or is it something deeper, signifying a needed connection? Is it an occasional or situation-specific relation, or might you consider both taking on your roles in a 24/7 dynamic? These are considerations that might be instant and obvious, or might evolve over time.

While all partners in relationships have responsibilities, a Daddy may have a little extra on their plate. With the dual focus of both care and discipline, people who gravitate to the Daddy role are typically natural caregivers, nurturers, and people who are generally good at organization and adulting. Some folks who have Daddies note that they provide distinct sexual thrills and chills, but their Daddies will also help and encourage them in conquering life's hurdles, such as laundry, taxes and even something as simple as staying hydrated. To be able to take these responsibilities on for another adult takes a very specific personality type.

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