Mistress is a term used to describe a female-identifying dominant, predominantly in BDSM relationships. An honorific that denotes significant status, Mistress is often followed by the person’s name. A Mistress is the dominant partner in a relationship with a slave or submissive. The slaves or submissives a Mistress owns, controls or is in a relationship with can be of any gender or sexuality. Anyone a Mistress deems worthy can provide service.
The Mistress role can vary greatly depending on the relationship. Some Mistresses only seek service in respect to sex. Other relationships can involve meeting a Mistress’s needs outside of the bedroom, including household maintenance, chores and running errands. Some Mistresses and slaves live their roles 24/7 and maintain their lives in accordance to the Mistress’s desires.
In a sexual sense, a Mistress will typically be the person to determine sexual activities, with the submissive acting accordingly. Because of this dynamic, it can be misconstrued that all sex between a Mistress and slave necessarily leans toward BDSM activities. While some Mistresses will certainly want to administer punishment, such as spanking, caning, humiliation, bondage and more, sex with a Mistress can involve any kind of sexual activity - that she approves of. Beyond power dynamics, Mistresses might want very vanilla sex, fetish exploration (including foot worship, forced masturbation, orgasm denial and more) or exhibitionism and voyeurism. There is no specific requirement to be a sexual Mistress.
Media representations portray a stereotypical “look” for Mistresses, usually involving leather, PVC clothes, a goth style and tall, slender bodies. In reality, a Mistress can be of any body shape, weight, height or dress in any manner she desires.
Some sex workers are also Mistresses, and others adopt the persona for clients. This is a niche market in sex work because Mistress-centric sessions can be longer and more involved in respect to preparation and psychological investment.
