Dating a Fetishist – What’s That All About?

"I would never date a fetishist. That stuff is sick!" Sadly, this is something people say far too often. The misguided idea is that if someone has a sexual interest or proclivity that we don't, that any thoughts of romance are doomed from the start. But does it really have to be that way? Probably not. Before we talk about this in earnest, let's define our terms.

Succinctly, a kink is when someone has a non-traditional sexual craving or ideation that enhances sexual pleasure or intimacy for them.

A fetish is when that thing is necessary to engage in fulfilling sex. Open and Honest Communication Is a Must

Fantasizing about a kink is popular, if not universal. Many times, a kink is explored once or twice and then never again. A fetish is more likely to become a habit because the person may be unable to achieve arousal or climax without specific stimuli. For our purposes, we're talking about people who require some representation of their fetish in order to engage in enjoyable sex. Dating a fetishist requires plenty of open, honest, non-judgmental communication on both sides. If this already seems like too much for you, you probably shouldn't date a fetishist.

Fetishes vary widely. Each one has specific requirements that a partner will have to be aware of to make the relationship work. Let's look at some of the most common fetishes and what it might take to incorporate them into your bedroom activities. Note: I'll be using hetero-normative language for the sake of convenience. Fetishes know no gender. Also, this is by no means an exhaustive list of fetishes. Foot or Shoe Fetish

Foot fetishes are so common, they may not even qualify as unusual anymore. Foot fetishists may like to masturbate with or onto feet. Some like to have sex with open toed shoes. The sight - and often the smell - of feet is arousing to a foot fetishist. They may also want to photograph your feet or use photos of feet as sexual aids.

If you find yourself dating someone with this fetish, you'll want to be highly confident with your own feet. This may mean avoiding blisters and calluses or maybe eschewing restrictive or heavy footwear that might beat up your feet. Dating a foot fetishist may also necessitate regular pedicures. The good news? You'll also be in for foot rubs ... lots and lots of foot rubs.

If you decide to give bathroom fetishes like this a whirl, remember: safety first. Plastic or vinyl sheets can keep mattresses from being ruined. Better yet, try these activities in the shower (at home or a specialty motel - not a gym, rented hot tub, or the local pool, please). Zoophilia and Furries

Sexual attraction to animals, or to the idea of having sex with animals, is more tricky territory. This fetish doesn't necessarily mean that a person literally wants to get their giggity on with a dog, horse, or other literal animal. So, it's important to talk with your partner frankly about what this fetish means to them and how they act on it. Furry refers specifically to people who dress up as animals (and may even self-identify as animals), or as a person who wants to engage in sex acts with those who do.

To say you'll need a love of animals to date a zoophile or furry is to oversimplify. You'll need an open mind, a vivid imagination, and probably a costume or two. These can be rented but if you're in it for the long haul, you might want to buy one or have one custom made. Sure, that's an investment, but it's an investment in a healthy sex life!