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Kayla Lords

Professional writer, sex blogger, erotic author, sexual submissive, and kinkster, Kayla writes more than is probably healthy over at A Sexual Being and overshares about the kinky and mundane side of her BDSM relationship. Her mission: to make BDSM, specifically Dominance and submission, less scary, less weird, and much more real and attainable for anyone willing to learn more.
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Articles by Kayla Lords


Kinky woman Kinky woman Kinky woman Kinky woman


Are D/s relationships all that different from vanilla relationships? Spoiler alert: no.

Woman in bondage cuffs Woman in bondage cuffs Woman in bondage cuffs Woman in bondage cuffs


When my partner proposed bondage, I was skeptical. What I learned is that the act of being restrained - in a hogtie with leather cuffs or...

Feather touch hand Feather touch hand Feather touch hand Feather touch hand


The soft touches from your partner while you have sex. The burn of desire between your legs. Good sexual energy creates sensations....

Masturbation: A Cure for Anxiety? Masturbation: A Cure for Anxiety? Masturbation: A Cure for Anxiety? Masturbation: A Cure for Anxiety?


During orgasm, the part of our brain that takes care of self-control, fear, and anxiety completely shuts down. But anxiety is still a...

How We Made Masturbation Part of Our D/s Relationship How We Made Masturbation Part of Our D/s Relationship How We Made Masturbation Part of Our D/s Relationship How We Made Masturbation Part of Our D/s Relationship


I’ve never quite gotten over my shyness, but he’s the Dominant, I’m the submissive and this is our agreement. When he says masturbate, I do.

8 Unique Handjob Tips That'll Blow His Mind 8 Unique Handjob Tips That'll Blow His Mind 8 Unique Handjob Tips That'll Blow His Mind 8 Unique Handjob Tips That'll Blow His Mind


Handjobs are vastly underrated sexual acts, and some of us don’t try too terribly hard to get any better at them. We can do better!

How to Turn Bath or Shower Sex From Awkward to Amazing How to Turn Bath or Shower Sex From Awkward to Amazing How to Turn Bath or Shower Sex From Awkward to Amazing How to Turn Bath or Shower Sex From Awkward to Amazing


If previous bath-time adventures failed to live up to your sexy expectations, try some of these tips before throwing in the towel.

10 Bondage Terms You Should Know 10 Bondage Terms You Should Know 10 Bondage Terms You Should Know 10 Bondage Terms You Should Know


Bondage requires a certain amount of education before you jump in. So let's start with the very basics: terminology.

The Ultimate Guide to Impact Play The Ultimate Guide to Impact Play The Ultimate Guide to Impact Play The Ultimate Guide to Impact Play


From a little tap to a burning slap, there's plenty to learn, try and enjoy in the world of impact play. Get the lowdown on spanking,...

Kaboom: Why I Love Edged Orgasms Kaboom: Why I Love Edged Orgasms Kaboom: Why I Love Edged Orgasms Kaboom: Why I Love Edged Orgasms


Edged orgasms are a sexy way to play while hitting on multiple kinks!

Crop gag cuffs on red background Crop gag cuffs on red background Crop gag cuffs on red background Crop gag cuffs on red background


Thanks to porn, fantasy-filled erotica, and a lot of our own screwed up ideas about sex, there are plenty of myths out there about kinky...

Childish woman holding teddy bear Childish woman holding teddy bear Childish woman holding teddy bear Childish woman holding teddy bear


Not all D/s relationships are the same. Often DD/lg gets a bad rep. Here's what you should know.

Pop Your Cork: The Ultimate Guide to Squirting Orgasms Pop Your Cork: The Ultimate Guide to Squirting Orgasms Pop Your Cork: The Ultimate Guide to Squirting Orgasms Pop Your Cork: The Ultimate Guide to Squirting Orgasms


A squirting orgasm can be a mind-blowing experience, but it's one that's often misunderstood - and it isn't for everyone. Here's what you...

Woman enjoying an orgasm Woman enjoying an orgasm Woman enjoying an orgasm Woman enjoying an orgasm


No matter how you experience them or how rough you like it, forced orgasms are all about pleasure. Learn more about this kinky form of...

A zipper opening A zipper opening A zipper opening A zipper opening


Once we realize that sexual education is a lifelong pursuit, we can move past the awkward questions, fears of what’s “normal,” and faked...

An intimate couple with interlocked hands An intimate couple with interlocked hands An intimate couple with interlocked hands An intimate couple with interlocked hands


Faking your orgasms? You're not alone. Here's why you should stop faking it.

Masturbation: The First Step in a One-Woman Sexual (R)Evolution Masturbation: The First Step in a One-Woman Sexual (R)Evolution Masturbation: The First Step in a One-Woman Sexual (R)Evolution Masturbation: The First Step in a One-Woman Sexual (R)Evolution


My personal road to kinky town started with the first stroke of a fingertip - and my very first orgasm.

The Importance of Collars in BDSM The Importance of Collars in BDSM The Importance of Collars in BDSM The Importance of Collars in BDSM


As with all things kink, there are no real standards when it comes to collars. Collars are different for everyone. Learn more about them...

Does BDSM Have to Be Hardcore? Does BDSM Have to Be Hardcore? Does BDSM Have to Be Hardcore? Does BDSM Have to Be Hardcore?


Hardcore kink is great for those who enjoy it, but there's a softer, gentler side to BDSM too.

Masturbation: Can You Get Too Much of a Good Thing? Masturbation: Can You Get Too Much of a Good Thing? Masturbation: Can You Get Too Much of a Good Thing? Masturbation: Can You Get Too Much of a Good Thing?


You won't get hairy palms or erectile dysfunction, but there are a few good reasons to evaluate your self-love habits - and whether they...

How to Ask Your Partner to Be Your Dominant How to Ask Your Partner to Be Your Dominant How to Ask Your Partner to Be Your Dominant How to Ask Your Partner to Be Your Dominant


Interested in BDSM? Want your partner to become your Dominant? Here's how to ask.

What Does a Real Dominant Look Like? What Does a Real Dominant Look Like? What Does a Real Dominant Look Like? What Does a Real Dominant Look Like?


What traits do real dominants have in common? Kinkly finds out! Here's a hint - it's not all about sex.

Coming to Terms With Kink and Violence: One Feminist's View Coming to Terms With Kink and Violence: One Feminist's View Coming to Terms With Kink and Violence: One Feminist's View Coming to Terms With Kink and Violence: One Feminist's View


Violence as abuse and the appearance of violence in kink are completely different things. Here's how one feminist came to terms with kink...

How to Have a Conversation About Kink With Your Partner How to Have a Conversation About Kink With Your Partner How to Have a Conversation About Kink With Your Partner How to Have a Conversation About Kink With Your Partner


Ready to talk about kink with your partner? Swallow your fears and get some tips for expressing your kinkiest desires!

An Insider's Look at the Mysterious World of BDSM Dungeons An Insider's Look at the Mysterious World of BDSM Dungeons An Insider's Look at the Mysterious World of BDSM Dungeons An Insider's Look at the Mysterious World of BDSM Dungeons


You may be surprised at how a BDSM dungeon operates. We go inside and provide a look at what goes on behind closed doors.

The Top 8 BDSM Myths - Debunked! The Top 8 BDSM Myths - Debunked! The Top 8 BDSM Myths - Debunked! The Top 8 BDSM Myths - Debunked!


No, BDSM isn't abuse. No, not all submissives are women. No, it's not all about sex. BDSM is filled with myths. Learn the facts.

Orgasm couple Orgasm couple Orgasm couple Orgasm couple


Not everyone experiences orgasms in the same way. Some of that comes down to anatomy and gender.

You Don't Have to Like All Types of Pain to Call Yourself a Masochist You Don't Have to Like All Types of Pain to Call Yourself a Masochist You Don't Have to Like All Types of Pain to Call Yourself a Masochist You Don't Have to Like All Types of Pain to Call Yourself a Masochist


Masochists like all types of pain, right? Wrong! You don't have to like all types of pain to be a masochist.

Bondage: It's More Than Just Rope Bondage: It's More Than Just Rope Bondage: It's More Than Just Rope Bondage: It's More Than Just Rope


Wanna be tied up? There are lots of fun and interesting options beyond rope. Get some ideas here.

Call It Klittra, Jilling, or Whatever You Want - At Least We're Discussing Female Masturbation Call It Klittra, Jilling, or Whatever You Want - At Least We're Discussing Female Masturbation Call It Klittra, Jilling, or Whatever You Want - At Least We're Discussing Female Masturbation Call It Klittra, Jilling, or Whatever You Want - At Least We're Discussing Female Masturbation


A new word has debuted for female masturbation - klittra. Opinions are mixed on whether we need a word for it. All that really matters is...

3 Ways to Get Kinky When Vanilla Life Intervenes 3 Ways to Get Kinky When Vanilla Life Intervenes 3 Ways to Get Kinky When Vanilla Life Intervenes 3 Ways to Get Kinky When Vanilla Life Intervenes


Creativity isn't just useful in being kinky. It's sometimes necessary for getting a kink-fix, too when your regular, vanilla life gets in...

Being a Daddy or Little Isn't About Children Being a Daddy or Little Isn't About Children Being a Daddy or Little Isn't About Children Being a Daddy or Little Isn't About Children


Does using terminology like Daddy or being a little in the world of BDSM mean that someone has an inappropriate interest in children? No....

A Day in the Life of a 24/7 Submissive A Day in the Life of a 24/7 Submissive A Day in the Life of a 24/7 Submissive A Day in the Life of a 24/7 Submissive


Living life as a submissive isn't what most people expect - and it isn't all about sex. Learn more here.

Smack! 3 Thrilling Types of Erotic Spanking Smack! 3 Thrilling Types of Erotic Spanking Smack! 3 Thrilling Types of Erotic Spanking Smack! 3 Thrilling Types of Erotic Spanking


Not all spankings are created equal. Find out about the different types of spankings that can be used with your consenting partner.

6 Reasons Why Masturbation Isn't Just Fun for One 6 Reasons Why Masturbation Isn't Just Fun for One 6 Reasons Why Masturbation Isn't Just Fun for One 6 Reasons Why Masturbation Isn't Just Fun for One


Masturbation is fun if it's just you, but it's even more fun with your partner. Here are 6 reasons why masturbation is fun with a partner!

What Good Kinky and Vanilla Relationships Have in Common What Good Kinky and Vanilla Relationships Have in Common What Good Kinky and Vanilla Relationships Have in Common What Good Kinky and Vanilla Relationships Have in Common


Surprised to think that kinky and vanilla relationships have anything in common? Well, they have more in common than you think!

Why It's Best to Think of BDSM Like a Kinky Buffet Why It's Best to Think of BDSM Like a Kinky Buffet Why It's Best to Think of BDSM Like a Kinky Buffet Why It's Best to Think of BDSM Like a Kinky Buffet


What do you really know with BDSM? It's more like a kinky buffet than one size fits all!

What Kind of Submissive Are You? What Kind of Submissive Are You? What Kind of Submissive Are You? What Kind of Submissive Are You?


Curious about giving up control? Here's a guide to help you cater your experience with submission.