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Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review

by AURORA BOREALIS
Published: JUNE 21, 2021
Presented by KINKLY SHOP
The Clandestine Devices Companion spices up the most ordinary of days. Did someone say wet clean-up needed in aisle 10? Yeah, you'll REALLY enjoy grocery shopping.

The Toy: Clandestine Devices’ Companion

The Verdict:Kinkly logoKinkly logoKinkly logoKinkly logo

The Clandestine Devices’ Companion is a great little lay-on vibrator that falls a bit short of perfection as a panty vibe. The possibilities are greater than the “in practice” which is disappointing, because a discreet panty vibe plays into some really fun play-in-public scenarios that had me very excited.

Imagine me with a very serious face and serious voice.

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Very. Excited.


How’d You Use It?


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So, I had a while to test this little Companion out and I gave it a whirl in a few different situations:

  • I tried it by myself in my room. Ok...also the living room and the bathtub (It was very good.)

I tried it with my partner controlling the remote:

  • In my room (also very good,)

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  • While I walked around my house (pretty good)

  • On a walk (a little less good--the magnet kept getting loose and falling onto the ground.)

  • In the car (not awesome, logistically. I kept having to reach between my legs to adjust it and it wasn’t like a sexy “ooh, I’m so turned on I have to reach between my legs.” It was more like a very unsexy “Ugh, hang on a sec, I gotta deal with a thing.” while yanking at my crotch.)

  • At the grocery store. (First it wouldn’t turn on, and then it wouldn’t shut off. Admittedly hilarious but I definitely did not get off in frozen foods while hissing “Turn it OFF!”)


  • Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review


    How Else Could You Use It?


    The Clandestine Devices Companion already lends itself to partnered or solo play as a lay on or panty vibrator, but you could get creative and clip it into your bra or hold it in your hand for a bit of variety.

    For vulva-owners, using the tail as a handle could let you stimulate your clit during sex. It’s fairly flat so it shouldn’t get too much in the way of your slapping bodies.

    Any body type could have some fun turning the vibrator around, placing the vibrating nub against the perineum.

    As for the penis-havers, that little nub might feel good against your frenulum, or holding the broad side along the shaft, if the focused vibrations are too intense.

    Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review


    Product Details

    • Vibrator Length: 4.5"
    • Vibrator Width: 2.25"
    • Watch Control Width: 1.25"

    The Clandestine Devices Companion vibrator is roughly palm-sized and the shape reminds me of a manta ray. It was a tiny bit wider than was strictly comfortable, but no one is accusing my curvy self of having a thigh gap, so it might be more suited for your body.

    The Clandestine Devices Companion comes in bubble gum pink with a grey remote. You can swap out the wrist straps of the remote for a different watchband if you like (it is compatible with smart watch and fitness tracker bands) or use it without the straps at all and just keep the remote in your pocket. I wouldn't do that though because it is small and I would definitely lose it.

    Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review

    It’s much quieter than some of the larger toys I enjoy when discretion isn’t top of mind, but I’m not sure it’s quiet enough for every situation. It sounded almost exactly like a cell phone set to vibrate and could be heard clearly from beneath the covers and from the next room if both the doors were open. Thoughts of using it in a movie theater were thwarted due to the noise. In a busy restaurant or a club (still closed in my area because of COVID, so I can’t verify) I think it would be ok.

    The owners’ manual says the maximum noise level is 68 decibels, which puts it somewhere around the same level as laughter.


    How Does it Work?


    Clandestine Devices Companion is designed for solo or partner play. For partnered fun, the vibrator slips into the wearer’s underwear and is held there with a small magnet. The watchband remote can be worn by a partner to control the vibrations from up to 60 ft away, according to the manufacturer. It can also be used when you find yourself all by your lonesome with a hankering for some clit-tickling.

    The remote is on a utilitarian grey band that at first glance might be taken for a smart watch. If your partner is very funny they might pretend to be a spy and talk into it, ordering the back up to “take them all out” instead of pressing the right button to get your vibes going. They might think that is funnier than you do.

    Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review

    My experience charging it the first time can best be described as fuck around and find out. There is a teeny tiny pinprick hole at the tip, and the drawing in the manual indicated this was the charge point. I spent ummm, I’m not going to tell you how long, trying to flip the tip open to access where I figured the cord would attach before going the brute force route and shoving the charger into the hole. Make your own “big stick in a little hole” joke here.

    The Clandestine Devices Companion vibrator itself only has one button. A quick press turns it on (the light flashes to let you know it is in standby mode) and subsequent presses cycle through the 10 vibration modes: 4 speeds of steady vibration and six patterns.

    To pair it with the remote, do a quick press of the vibrator button, followed by a quick press on the middle button on the remote. There are three buttons: center button for on/off and to cycle through the modes, and two buttons to increase or decrease the intensity.

    There is also a travel lock (press the vibrator button for three seconds to turn on or off) so you can avoid having any buzzworthy accidents.


    Materials and Care


    The Clandestine Devices Companion is made out of really luxurious medical grade silicone. It is lovely and feels amazing. I don’t feel like I can overstate this point. You can use a water-based lubricant with it if you like, but I found it silky enough to use raw. The vibrator is fully waterproof, which means washing it is a breeze with some warm sudsy water. I wasn’t able to verify that the remote control is also waterproof, so I would recommend giving it a quick wipe or spray with a toy cleaner, and keeping it out of the tub. The charger is definitely not waterproof, but also how dirty are you getting it? Anyway, don’t charge it in the tub.

    Once I figured out where to stick the charging pin, it charged fully (as indicated by the fact the light at the tip stopped flashing) in two hours the first time and a bit over an hour [70 minutes, according to the manufacturer] for subsequent charges, which allows for about an hour and a half of play.Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review

    I’m not sure if I turned it off wrong or what happened, but I know I did not vibrate for that long the first time. When I pulled it out the second time it was dead, dead, dead and I was frustrated. Some devices have an auto-off feature which it seems the Clandestine Devices Companion does not, too bad because apparently I need it.


    The Packaging


    The toy arrived in a plain white FedEx courier envelope which was discretion itself, with the exception of the customs slip stating it contained an “intimate massage device.” It wasn’t splashed all over the envelope or anything, but if you are very private, it could be embarrassing. I only mention it because it led to a bit of a hilarious encounter: I had missed the courier and had to call around to arrange a pick up. I spoke to someone at the local office who pulled the package aside for me after I told her it was “Something important I need right away, for work.”

    When I went in to pick it up the package lay on the counter, customs slip facing up and it was obvious she knew my “very important work package” was, in fact, a vibrator. I have no shame so I laughed and told her my job is awesome when I sashayed out of there, but truly, I was dying inside a little.Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review

    The box holds the Clandestine Devices Companion vibrator, magnet, remote with watchband, the charger, manual, USB charging cord and white satin storage pouch.

    The box is a sturdy cardboard which would be good for storing it, except that it is segmented inside to hold each piece and getting it back in is kind of a pain. The remote comes with the watchband part detached, and after you put it together, it doesn’t fit nicely back in the box.

    Luckily it comes with a little drawstring pouch so you can keep the pieces together without the box.

    I mean YOU can keep the pieces together...I’ve already lost the magnet that’s supposed to hold the vibrator in my panties.

    Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review

    The Verdict: 4/5


    As a lay-on vibrator, this one really does it for me. The wide surface covers a broad area of the vulva and delivers nice rumbling vibrations, while the raised nub nestles against the clitoris for a bit of concentrated delight.

    Maybe it’s just me but I don’t feel like that lends itself particularly well to partner play. There isn’t a great indication for your partner to know what setting they are on, unless they can hear the pattern, so if you were separated from them, like across the club or something, they wouldn’t know if they had it dialed in to your favourite pattern.

    As a panty vibe, I found the Clandestine Devices Companion a bit of a bust. I was very excited about the exhibitionist possibilities and between the difficulties with getting the controls right, positioning it comfortably and the magnet that wasn't strong enough to hold on (and I swear I wasn't' wearing super thick panties or anything!) it fell short of the perfection I had hoped for.

    Clandestine Devices Companion: Sex Toy Review


    Other Options


    If you want to have a vibrator that you can wear in public, there are a few options. While vibrating panties (often some trashy panties equipped with a bullet vibe) have been around for a while, the addition of wireless controls and more recently, app-controlled vibrators that focus on the clitoris are still finding their niche in the market.

    We-Vibe has been making app-controlled sex toys for several years and has a nice variety of options to suit your anatomy and how you want to please it. The We-Vibe Moxie is their panty vibe. It comes with a small handheld remote or use the We-Connect app and hand control over to your partner for some long distance fun. You can read our review of the We-Vibe Moxie here.

    The Sexy Secret from Satisfyer is another comparable panty vibe. Unlike the others, it doesn’t have the option of a handheld remote, but it does use the Satisfyer Connect app, which again means your lover can control your good vibes from anywhere in the world. The Sexy Secret has similar bells and whistles to the other two (waterproof, body safe silicone, rechargable) but rings in at a lower price point, which might make it a good option if you are still a little unsure if it is the right toy for you.


    How to Buy a Panty Vibrator


    If you are in the market for a panty vibrator, the top things to consider are where and how you plan to use it.

    • If you are going to be using it at home or in noisy places, noise doesn’t matter. If you want to use it in a movie theatre or quiet restaurant, make sure you check the decibel rating.

    • If you have a long distance partner, an app controlled device is the way to go.

    • Practice with your device and your partner somewhere private before you take it out in public. Trust me, it is a new level of awkward trying to deal with it when you are walking down the street.

    Wondering how/why we reviewed this product? Check out our Sex Toy Review Policies.

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    PRESENTED BY

    Photo for Aurora Borealis
    Aurora Borealis

    Aurora loves good sex and writing about what it takes to do it. She writes travel and lifestyle for a variety of publications under a different name, with a decidedly more PG bent.


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