There's something primal and passionate about rough sex that just sets our arousal on fire. The scratching, the deep thrusting, the groaning: all of it comes together for a cocktail of pleasure.
It has all of those "gotta have it now!" vibes that can make sexual tension a sexual wildfire - especially when your rough sex session was preceded by lots of teasing and denial.
You'd assume that "how to have rough sex" would simply mean taking your favorite sex positions and making them rougher. You'd be wrong. Because of the intensity and tempo, not all sex positions will translate well to rough sex. Some positions are even dangerous.
That's why I'm here to help! Consider me your Director of Dirty, Rough Sex. I'm glad you're along for the ride.
Read: The Rules of Rough Sex
Before we dive into the sex positions for rough sex, I want to take a quick moment to discuss safety concerns.
Sex, in itself, can be dangerous. When you add in even more roughness, the potential for danger is even higher! (Just read about how these couples fared in the bedroom.) Here are a few tips for playing safer.
The biggest concern for most couples will be going further than they intended to go. Rough sex, and its constantly increasing intensity, can make it easy to blow past your usual boundaries while deep in that primal, frenzied headspace.
Help prevent this by having a conversation before sex about what your boundaries are. While I always recommend a full negotiation before a kink scene, you can make this as thorough - or as light - as you'd like. It might be something as simple as "I'm not looking to be scratched tonight" or "I might need to stop us if I find myself wanting to be choked. I know that's a bad space for me."
You might also forewarn your partner that you'd like to take a quick break during sex to check in with one another. While you might feel like this can ruin the "vibe," most people can get right back into rough sex pretty quickly after an interruption. Warning your partner ahead of time can prepare them for this, though, as no one likes to be surprised by a conversation they weren't expecting mid-sex!
There are other risks to rough sex, too. Did you know you can break the penis? Yep, that's your new factoid for the day. The penis is made from a soft tissue that can break - and it's not particularly hard to do! All you need to do is catch the penis in the wrong spot - like against the inner thigh - and come down on it with your entire body weight.
Sounds a bit like rough sex in the Cowgirl sex position, doesn't it?
To help prevent this, avoid any sex position where the penis will entirely leave the orifice; always leave the tip in to help "guide" that next thrust. Choosing sex positions where the penetrating partner does the movement can also help. You can also avoid any sex positions where anyone's full body weight falls on top of anyone else (such as Cowgirl or Missionary), instead opting for sex positions where you both hold up the majority of your own weight (like Doggy style or the Double Mount Penetration position).
You also need to watch out for sprains or falls. Especially if you choose a sex position that tests your flexibility, balance, or strength, the demands of rough sex can make it much easier to push past your usual stopping point. After all, a lot of positions can test your strength, balance or flexibility.
I recommend taking a few mental seconds every once in awhile to check in with your entire body (and not just the spots between your legs!). You might also want to default to comfortable positions that don't push your body's limits to avoid risking injury in the first place. There's a whole lot of rough sex fun to be simply had in doggy style; you don't need to make it fancy!
Pelvic bruising (whether we're talking about anal sex or vaginal sex!) can also be a reality here. Using a penetration buffer (like the OhNut) can help reduce some of that bruising. That said, if you're enjoying hard and fast thrusting, your bodies will likely slap together with enough force to leave some bruising internally and externally. Take this into account, and make sure to communicate mid-play to reduce the intensity or change the angles if things are feeling unpleasantly bruised.
Now that you're ready to look for any mental and physical dangers during sex, let's hop right into the best sex positions for rough sex.
I think this might be the No.1 sex position for passionate, rough office sex in movies - and that's because it works! The Desk Domination position has that "gotta have it now" vibe while simultaneously allowing the standing partner to press horizontally against their partner for even more skin-to-skin contact. With the receiver's legs wrapped around the giver's waist, this position also reduces the likelihood of full strokes, further reducing the risk of accidentally landing the penis in the wrong place.
Good to Know: Make sure your table or desk is sturdy. Really. Rough sex in the Desk Domination position is going to really push the table sideways. If your table isn't strong enough to support this, it can easily move the table. It can even cause one of the legs of the desk to collapse, taking you both dangerously to the floor. If your table doesn't require two people to move it, it's probably not sturdy enough for this position.
Try It With: A cock ring. The close-quarters and leaned-in angle of the Desk Domination position can make this position a perfect match for a vibrating cock ring. Choosing one with a protruding vibe - like the Fun Factory NOS or Nexus Force Lasso Vibrating Ring - can really help ensure any clitoris-owning partners get the full effect of the vibrations.
You probably won't get a lot of movement with the Slippery Nipple position - and that's OK! The inability to pull all the way in - and then back out - is part of what makes this such a safe choice for rough sex. Instead, focus on the fun of having both of your hands free to touch one another. This can be a great option for nipple play, or simply groping the chest or thighs in the heat of passion.
Good to Know: This position can place a biological penis at a horizontal or downward angle. For some penis owners, this might be painful, especially with your partner's body "trapping" it there, so make sure you do a bit of experimentation before you jump right in to choosing this position as the best sex position for rough sex.
Try It With: Nipple play! Like the name implies, this position makes it easy to play with the chest. While nipplegasms might not be your end goal, adding sensation via nipple clamps or nipple suckers might be a fantastic fit. (It's an open secret that air suction vibrators can be used on the nipples too , although you might have a hard time maintaining a good seal with rough sex happening a few feet away!)
Seated positions can be a great fit for rough sex. Not only does it make them more accessible for your body, but it also makes them more accessible for your location too. If you're trying to enjoy a passionate romp in a public location, trying to find the space (and cleanliness!) to get down on the floor can be hard. Instead, the Good Doggie position takes advantage of any seated surface for your rough sex session.
Good to Know: Remember how we talked about the risk of penis breaks? Make sure the riding partner doesn't pull out all the way in-between strokes with this position. The easiest way to ensure that doesn't happen is to focus on keeping the back of the butt cheeks in constant contact with the partner's tummy. Instead of full thrusts, grinding and "lapdance" motions can feel just as pleasurable while reducing the risk of penile fracture.
Try It With: Any of your favorite sex toys! The Good Doggie position is fantastic because it leaves both partners' hands free to add in additional stimulation. As pictured, you can also use those hands to lean forward onto a table or another surface for additional stability during play. It's all about what works best for you!
If the receiving partner enjoys clitoral or penile stimulation, the Pole Position is about to become a rough sex favorite. Not only does this position reduce some of the risks of "Person on Top" positions because it's harder to get upright leverage, but it also provides the reclined partner's thigh for the receiver to grind against. This can be extremely pleasurable for both partners!
Just make sure to take that initial penetration slowly! This is an awkward, unfamiliar penetration angle for most couples, and you'll want to ensure you're both comfortable with it before jumping right into the grinding.
Good to Know: I bet you've never thought about putting lube on your thigh, but it might be helpful here! A drizzle of lube on the reclined partner's bent thigh can provide a slippery, slide-against-it surface for the receiving partner to press against, especially if that person has a penis.
Try It With: A bit of bondage. This position is ripe for a bit of sensation play and restraint - if that's your jam! The penetrating partner can easily be bound, spread eagle, onto a bed without changing much of the position. The receiving partner can wear a blindfold to focus on the sensations and the skin-on-skin contact. It's up to how you want to experience it all!
Like the name implies, this is one slam-friendly position for rough sex. With the receiving partner lying face down, this position can already feel like a vulnerable, "take me now" experience. Add in rough sex, and both partners can really feel the heat of their primal connection. Plus, you can do this sex position anywhere!
Good to Know: Do this position on a soft surface - and potentially add pillows underneath the receiver, especially if they have pronounced hip bones or a penis. This position allows the penetrating partner to use some of their strongest muscles to really ride the receiving partner. Add that to the fact that the penetrating partner is (literally!) resting most of their weight onto the receiver's hips, and this one can be uncomfortable on hard surfaces.
Try It With: With the receiver's stomach pressed so firmly to the floor, it can be difficult to add any additional clitoral or penile stimulation with your hands - but that's where hands-free sex toys come in! Consider some grinding-friendly options like the Wild Flower Enby 2, Orion VibePad 2, or Rocks-Off Ruby Glow. You an also go the hands-free route with options like the We-Vibe Bond, Hot Octopuss Jett, or Lovense Ferri.
You wouldn't assume it, but using a sex position strap can make a huge difference when introducing primal, rough sensations to sex. In this case, the Sportsheets I Like It Doggie Style strap makes it easy to gain leverage during doggy style sex for the Lion's Roar Position.
Since most couples will enjoy the passionate feel of skin pressed firmly against their partner, full thrusts where the penis slides out will be less common in the this position, so it's perfect for reducing the risk of penile danger.
Good to Know: Bodies come in different sizes! If the receiving partner has a thicker body, the Plus version of the I Like It Doggie Style strap offers more material and width for added comfort.
Try It With: Penis limiters, if needed. The Lion's Roar position offers a whole lot of powerful, deep thrusting. For some, though, this can be a recipe for pain from "bottoming out". To help with this, ensure the receiving partner is really turned on before starting, and consider adding a penetration buffer - like the OhNut or Vibrating OhNut - to ensure that both partners can relax into the position without fear of pain.
If deep penetration is on your "must have" list, you're going to love the Leapfrog position. Not only does it encourage rough sex, but it also places the receiving partner in a hips-up position that encourages hitting some of those innermost spots.
Good to Know: The Leapfrog position won't be for all receiving partners. The receiver is, essentially, getting in a "light" version of the Frog pose in yoga - and that is a pretty intense stretch! Reduce the stretch by turning the Leapfrog into a Doggy style variation, especially if you find your muscles feeling a bit sore half-way through.
Try It With: Pillows or sex furniture. Relaxing into the receiver's position can be much more comfortable with something to rest the hips on. The Liberator Jaz or Wedge can come to the rescue here! Just slide it under the receiver's hips to provide a soft, supportive surface that will reduce knee involvement and make it easier to relax into the position.
Nothing says "rough sex" like throwing someone over the arm of a couch and going to town. That's exactly what the Over the Edge position provides. This position uses your favorite (sturdy!) couch to prop the receiver's hips at a great angle for penetration. Just make sure the penetrating partner starts off slowly and builds in intensity. If you aren't used to sex over the arm of your couch, thrusting with the penetrating partner's full body weight behind it can be one of the risk factors for a penile fracture.
Good to Know: This is one sex position that's practically begging for a waterproof sex blanket. Unless you want to clean bodily fluids off your couch, slipping a Liberator Throw under your bodies before you jump in can be a great fit. The "Travel" size should be the right size for most couches!
Try It With: A bit of impact play! The Over the Edge position leaves the penetrating partner's hands free, which can be all the "excuse" you need to try a bit of spanking. Add in impact play toys if you'd like or go bare-handed. Just make sure to ask permission ahead of time! Not everyone's idea of "rough sex" includes spanking.
Intercourse isn't the only way to have rough sex. In fact, oral sex can be deliciously "rough" too! In the Lady Godiva position, the receiving partner enjoys all of the benefits of facesitting - including the ability to control the pace, roughness and exact spot where they're receiving the stimulation.
Just make sure to work out a communication system for air! The Lady Godiva position can make it difficult for the giving partner to communicate - and easy for the receiving partner to go a bit too wild with rough oral sex. A traditional "double tap" on the thighs can remind the seated partner to raise up for a bit so the giver can breathe.
Good to Know: The Lady Godiva can put a lot of pressure on the giver's head. Ensure their head is fully supported (by the bed, pillow, or other item) to reduce strain on the neck.
Try It With: A queening chair. The Lady Godiva position can be a blast, but it places a lot of weight and breathing stress on the giving partner. If you'd like to enjoy the same position - but with a surface supporting the the receiver for comfort and safety - a queening chair can make that happen.
The Head Rest position offers a rough sex option for penis-owning receivers (although some vulva owners may enjoy this position too!). Since the receiving partner is reclined, the range of motion is reduced, so there's a smaller risk of harming the giving partner's mouth or throat (or ramming into the teeth!) compared to the Deep Throat position. Still, the giving partner can control the pace and roughness by pushing their hips forward for a position that can feel very primal.
Good to Know: With both of you lying on your sides, I recommend this sex position for a soft, plushier surface. Your hip bones will thank you!
Try It With: Your favorite large sex toys! As the Head Rest position leaves a lot of room to pleasure the giving partner, this can be a great fit for those large, powerful toys that usually won't fit between your bodies during intercourse. Wand massagers (like the Smart Wand 2 or Magic Wand Mini) can be a great fit with their large handles, while penis strokers (like the KIIROO KEON or Arcwave Ion) can also be fantastic fits.
Read: How to Deep Throat
Who says your rough sex has to include penetration? In fact, it can actually be a lot more approachable for couples if you leave penetration out of the equation.
As it turns out, throwing all of your heart, soul and cardio limitations into banging into your partner can be hard work.
Instead, choosing a mutual masturbation position like the Synchronous Friction position allows you both to focus on firm, decisive movements where they matter most (between the thighs) without worrying about moving your entire body. This can lead to marathon rough sex sessions that'll leave you pleasantly sore the next day. Because you won't be out of breath from testing your cardiovascular system, this position also lends itself well to all of the dirty talk you want.
Good to Know: A soft surface, like a bed, is definitely recommended for this one. Try adding a waterproof sex blanket if you both want to effortlessly roll over for no-wet-spot sleep when you're done.
Try It With: Your favorite anal toys! The Synchronous Friction position makes it easy to access the butt. While it might not be easy to thrust an anal toy in and out (with the friction of the bed so close to the butt!), you can easily add in butt plugs or anal beads and gently wiggle them while they remain inside. It can be a great way to up the intensity during rough sex!
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Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
