Myth 7: Black Leather is Required for BDSM
Chocolate and peanut butter; black leather and kink—it's not at all compulsory. (Black leather, that is, not chocolate and peanut butter. Unless you're allergic.)
If you attend a kink-friendly event—which I encourage you to do as they can be very educational and a lot of fun—mixed in with chaps, vests and the rest of the leather communities' regalia, you'll see fetish-fashion latex, well-cut suits, bare skin and everything in-between.
With its long-standing traditions, annual awards, educational outreaches and charitable events, black leather remains a highly honored part of BDSM culture—but it's not a community requisite.
So feel free to let your freak flag fly! If you like black leather, make a few community friends who can explain the dos and don'ts of wearing it to help you from stepping on any black leather-booted toes.
Let's get this right out in the open. Age play has absolutely nothing to do with children or anyone under the age of consent.
What does involve are adults roleplaying, i.e., pretending, they're younger than they biologically are.
READ: Help! My Partner Is Into Ageplay!
It can be enjoyed solely with other age play enthusiasts or in the presence of someone or someone assuming the role of a nanny, parent or teacher.
Dolls, games, storytime, diaper changes, consensual punishment or humiliation play might or might not occur in addition to moments of parental care and affection.
Myth 9: Only A Minority Of People Are Into BDSM
This one is going to be a bit fuzzy as no one's undertaken a worldwide survey of how many people are kinky.
But according to a 2014 article from the Smithsonian (of all places), referencing a study from the condom maker Durex, the number of people in the U.S. who "use masks, blindfolds and bondage tools during sex" is a whopping 36%.
That's even more amazing considering how that survey was not taking into account people into things like spanking, domination, sex toys or nipple play.
Is an interest in BDSM rare? I doubt it. Rather, it looks like not being kinky is less common.
Myth 10: BDSM Is Emotionally and Physically Dangerous
I won't sugarcoat it: BDSM can be dangerous. But so is driving a car, cooking a meal and a host of other everyday activities.
And like getting behind the wheel, chopping veggies, or whatever else you do, to stay safe, you need to learn as much as you can about BDSM before giving it a shot.
That means reading about kink or, better yet, checking out your local kink scene and attending BDSM events to get some much-needed hands-on education.
Don't worry if you're nervous. The BDSM community prides itself on welcoming newcomers and showing them the ropes (pun absolutely intended).
READ: Everything You Need to Know About Attending Your First Rope Bondage Conference.
It doesn't matter if you haven't done anything kinky in your life and are merely a little curious. As long as you're open-minded, treat others with respect and accept you'll make mistakes (everyone does), before you know it, you'll be well on your way to what could be a life-changing adventure.
The Bottom Line About BDSM
Together with learning everything you possibly can, it's crucial to use your newly developed kink awareness to leave ignorance, intolerance, judgment and recklessness behind you.
And listen to people who—via their real-world BDSM experiences—know what they're talking about.
Alas, I've only been able to tackle a few of the more egregious kink falsehoods here. But here's one final, undeniable truth I want to leave you with:
For all of its faults, BDSM can be amazingly powerful—and erotically beautiful—for those willing to genuinely try to understand it.
READ: The Joy of Finding Your Fetish.