3. Make it fun for the receiver.
If someone’s offering you the gift of their well-composed nudes (or an audience for yours), you can repay them by putting some effort into your own. One way to do this is to space out your photos. “You don’t have to send everything at once, and you don’t have to include closeups of your genitals,” says O'Reilly. “Instead, you might want to photograph other parts of your body from multiple angles and send one pic at a time to tease it out.”
You can also create a sexy setting by decluttering your room and adjusting the lights — or even putting a scarf over the light to create an old-school filter. (Just remember to take it down after! Fire safety is important, people.)
The important thing, though, isn’t what you look like in the photo but how you feel. “Ground your sexiness in yourself,” says Queen. “It's fine to get ideas for position, lighting, etc. from other erotic images you've seen, but you don't have to try to copy porn poses or expressions to be sexy.” You might even want to create a persona and use clothing or props to convey it. “You're engaging in a creative practice when you do this,” says Queen.
Read: Why Aren't There Pussy Pics?
4. Keep their photos private.
If someone entrusts you with an NSFW photo of themselves, it’s your responsibility to keep that photo private, says Queen. “People generally don't send out their photos in order to have them shared with others.”
Don’t save a photo on your phone without your partner’s permission, and don’t show it to anyone else.
5. Protect your own privacy as you wish.
If you’re concerned about your photos potentially getting leaked, you can have a policy to only share images from the neck down so that you’re not identifiable, says O'Reilly. You might also want to save your photos in a separate folder so that you don’t accidentally reveal them while sharing other photos.
Read: Why I Post Sexy Selfies
6. Give appreciative feedback (if you are appreciative).
Since sending a nude is a vulnerable act, a nice compliment that lets your partner know you’re into it can go a long way. O'Reilly suggests telling them specifically what about their body or the photo you like. If you want to escalate the conversation and talk about what you want to do with the person in the photo, Queen recommends asking permission first with a line like, "Do you want to hear what I find hot about this picture?"
"If you want a different kind of photo, convey this without criticizing what you've been sent. Of course, if the photo was unsolicited, it’s completely within your rights to tell the sender you’re not interested in receiving sexts from them," says Queen.
“You can always make communication about sex sexy, even if it's about saying no, declaring barriers, or asking for consent,” she adds. “People think that stuff isn't sexy, but it is! It helps the other person feel seen and heard, it encourages you both to express what you're actually interested in, and it lets you figure out where your common ground is.”