We all know sex toys are about giving us pleasure. Vibrators also fall into the category of sexual health tools. Whether you’re having difficulties or not, sex toys can be an important teaching tool for women who want to learn about their bodies, enhance pleasure and become more orgasmic.
But what happens when you want a vibrator and have no clue as to what to buy or how to use it? I’ve heard from several women in their late 50s and early 60s with questions about vibrators. Questions like, “My doctor suggested it, but I’m not sure what she wants me to do,” to “I’ve never had an orgasm, would a vibrator help me?”
The reason we use vibrators is to give ourselves pleasure. Fingers, tongues and penises are wonderful, but sometimes, using a vibrator on your own body can be instructive - and delightfully pleasurable. By using the toy as a learning device, the user can begin to understand where they feel the most pleasure. And knowing what kind of touch or sensation feels good is vital information to becoming more attuned to one’s pleasure centers.
If you're interested in trying out a vibrator but aren't sure where to start, you've come to the right place! (For background reading, check out How to Use a Vibrator.)
Benefits of Using a Vibrator
Let’s look at some of the benefits of using vibrators:
Pleasure Without Penetration
A vibrator allows you to feel and give pleasure without vaginal penetration - a plus for women who have issues with dryness or pain during intercourse. It’s also a useful tool for couples if erectile issues are present. That's right - men can use vibrators too!
Making Pain-Free Penetration Possible
When penetrative sex with a partner is desired but there is concern about discomfort or pain, a slender vibrator can be used, slowly and carefully, with you in control. Some doctors prescribe vaginal dilators for vaginal atrophy, but in a mild case, or just for fun, a slender vibrator can be used both internally and externally. With the extra pleasure vibration provides, experimenting with a vibrator can help get you comfortable with this type of play again.
More Orgasmic Intercourse
A vibrator can be used during intercourse to provide the extra stimulation necessary for orgasm.
The Discovery of New Erotic Zones
Using a vibrator, you can explore the clitoris and vulvar areas to find those erotic spots that feel best to you. You also discover the speed and intensity that works best for you. This knowledge can be shared with your partner, to make sure he or she knows how to give you the preferred touch.
New to Vibrators? Must-Know Info
If you’re new to vibrators there are a few things you must know in order to make the most of your experience:
- The clitoris can be very sensitive to touch and can get overstimulated, even painful upon direct exposure. So, start with a light touch, low vibration setting, and focus on areas above and around the clitoris initially. As you learn what you like, you can experiment with pressure and intensity. Many vibrators come with more than one setting.
- Use a lubricant. Even if you don’t think you need it, use one. It allows fingers and toys to glide along, rather than tug at the skin. This article on lubes has tips on which lube to choose.
- Don’t start out with the goal of having an orgasm. Approach this as a way to feel sensation - to give yourself pleasure. As you get more used to how the toy feels you can try new and different things.
- While vibrators are great and can enhance sex, don’t depend solely on one vibrator used in exactly one way. Add fingers. Touch yourself, reach out to your partner and invite them to watch and join in. You will enhance your capacity to become aroused by learning your erotic zones and by self-pleasuring more frequently.
Solo or partnered, older women do need to pay attention to sexual health. When aroused, delicate vaginal tissues become engorged with blood. This is like feeding the tissues. Sex or self-pleasuring will help to keep your genitals feeling juicy and ready to provide you with continued pleasure. Plus, it’s just fun! So grab your vibrator and go for it.