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A Day in the Life of a 24/7 Submissive

Published: JUNE 5, 2015 | Updated: MAY 24, 2022
Living life as a submissive isn't what most people expect - and it isn't all about sex. Learn more here.

I'm a submissive in a 24/7 Dominance and submission (D/s) relationship. If you read that and imagine that I spend my days naked and on my knees waiting for my Dominant to throw out commands, think again. D/s isn't for everyone, and living the lifestyle 24/7/365 is for even less, but whatever you think it's like, you're probably wrong.


Before you dismiss 24/7 D/s as impractical or too kinky for you, take a look at what it looks like.

Note: I am a female submissive with a male Dominant I call "Daddy." There's no requirement that you be a heterosexual pair or a even pair at all for a 24/7 D/s relationship. Triads and BDSM families of all sexualities across the gender spectrum live 24/7 BDSM.

The Day Begins

My day really begins the night before when I set up the coffee pot for the next morning's cup of coffee. First task of the day - make sure my Dominant's coffee is ready to go at the push of a button when he wakes up.


5:30 a.m. Wake up and do my own thing. I'm the type of person who checks her email and Twitter on her iPhone while still in bed. He's often up before I am which is why I get his coffee ready the night before.

6:00 a.m. Make his breakfast smoothie and the cup of coffee he'll take to work. His smoothie has to have his protein powder but I choose the fruit based on what we have available. Before he met me, it was just milk, ice, and the powder (yuck!).

6:30 a.m. Goodbye kiss. And wowza! He might edge me. He might bite my neck. He might just kiss me until I forget to breathe. Either way, it's delicious and achieves his goal - making sure he's all I'm thinking about for at least a few minutes.


When I get dressed in the morning, I only wear panties if he's picked them out for me. If I know my chosen outfit for the day needs a pair, I request them before he leaves or send him a quick text asking if I can choose a pair. If I pick them out, I have to send him a picture of me wearing them. Fun!

After this point, the day is mine. I'm getting my kids to school (yes, D/s is possible with children), figuring out my own work schedule, deciding what to cook for dinner, running errands, cleaning, and whatever else needs to be done for the day. I choose the career path I'm on and how to accomplish my goals. I decide what needs to be cleaned when, what needs to cooked, and what I need to buy. I confer with him often to get his opinion or find out if there's anything specific he wants or needs done but I make decisions without him throughout the day.

1:30 p.m. Everything stops (or nearly everything if I'm not under a deadline), and we talk during his lunch hour. It's a way to reconnect and check in with each other. It's sometimes the only way I'll take some time to focus on something outside of work or whatever my errands are for the day.


The very few times I've asked that we skip the call (damn deadlines!), we both feel off for the rest of the day. When I say we talk about everything, I mean everything. We've talked about grocery shopping and clothes shopping for the kids, and we've discussed politics and social issues in the news.

Daddy's Home!

5:00 p.m. He's usually home by now, and unless I'm under a deadline, my work stops for the day. I turn my focus to him and the kids. Dinner is cooked and served. The kitchen is cleaned. His lunch is packed for the next day - another of my tasks. If I don't pack his lunch at night, I'm running around the next morning getting it done (not fun).

6:30 p.m. We take a walk. Sometimes it's just to the mailbox, sometimes it's around our condo complex. The walk serves multiple purposes - a little bit of exercise, fresh air for me as I spend most of my time staring at a computer screen while sitting at the kitchen table, and time to talk without little ears listening. The walk is canceled only for illness or bad weather.


7:00 p.m. Shower time, and we usually take it together. D/s with kids is hard, and you have to find those quiet moments when you can. They don't question the fact that we're in the bathroom together, and we leave it alone.

8:00 p.m. After the kids are tucked in bed, lights out, and door shut, it's time to make his evening coffee and dessert. Once it's ready, I kneel in front of him before I hand it to him. It's a small gesture, but if the day was hectic - and it usually is - this act of submission can center me as little else does. He often kisses me gently, tells me he loves me, and stares into my eyes until I blush and look away. I think he enjoys that last part.

Time for Bed

9:30 p.m. or later At some point between our shower and this point, I've turned down the bed, set the alarm clock, and readied everything for bed. It's another required task of mine. Before climbing into bed, I kneel again and either wait for him to grant permission, or I ask permission to come to bed. This ritual is less tender and much kinkier. I might wiggle my ass in hopes of a few swats. If there's time (and energy), I might find myself the recipient of a deliciously painful spanking with his hand or a quick session with the flogger, paddle, or crop.


By the time I climb into bed, I'm often relaxed - or pouting a little if he didn't have the energy for anything more than a quick pat. But it's a signal to my mind and body that it's time to rest and relax for the evening.

We do not have sex every night. The only time I'm naked is a shower or after we go to bed unless we're able to schedule some kinky fun during the day (a rare thing indeed). The kids don't hear me call him "Daddy." And a good portion of my time is my own. I have very specific tasks to complete, and I defer to him in all things if I'm unsure of what to do. On the rare occasions we've disagreed, I speak to him once the kids are out of earshot, and we discuss the issue respectfully. I show him respect in all things, and he reciprocates.

He supports my career goals and my dreams, even when they interfere with a task I have. He is capable of making his own coffee or getting his own breakfast if something with work comes up. Better yet, he's willing to do those things. When I'm in pain or sick, I'm not allowed to kneel which I really don't like. I'll often make the attempt anyway until he gives me The Look and uses his "Dom voice" - the voice that says he means business.

For me, being 24/7 isn't about the tasks I perform. It's that he's always Daddy, and I'm always babygirl, regardless of where we are and what we're doing. If you look at this list and think it sounds repressive or awful, 24/7 might not be for you - and that's OK, too.

Let me make something clear. You can take a peek at five D/s relationships and see five different ways of living the lifestyle. Look at 1000 and see 1000 different ways. We're all unique and each relationships has their own way of making 24/7 work for them. At the end of the day, all you really need is trust, communication, and consent - and a willingness to try.

Kayla Lords

Professional writer, sex blogger, erotic author, sexual submissive, and kinkster, Kayla writes more than is probably healthy over at A Sexual Being and overshares about the kinky and mundane side of her BDSM relationship. Her mission: to make BDSM, specifically Dominance and submission, less scary, less weird, and much more real and attainable for anyone willing to learn more.

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