9 Ways You’re Killing Your Sex Life (and How You Can Fix It)

by Kinkly
Published: SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 | Updated: OCTOBER 27, 2015
Taking time to reconnect and to take care of yourself are two of the best ways that you can reinvigorate your sex life.

My boyfriend and I will be celebrating eight years of love this October. I’ll never forget the night we met. It was love at first sight. Everyone else I’d ever met faded away into distant memory while sparks instantaneously flew between the two of us. I couldn’t wait to taste his lips. When I did, fireworks exploded as we kissed (for what had to be six hours). No situation inappropriate, no location off limits...we made out every chance we got in every place imaginable, unable to keep our hands off of one another. A few months later, I moved in to his apartment and we’ve been inseparable ever since. After all these years, we've managed to keep it hot and heavy, but I’ve noticed that from time to time life, gets in the way of intimacy: Conflicting work schedules, strange phases, mood cycles, miscommunication, seasonal affective disorder, laziness, you name it.


Speaking from experience, here's a list of nine ways you may be killing your sex life. Plus, I've included some helpful hints I’ve learned along the way that will help keep your libido happy and your relationship as hot as ever.

Burying Your Face in Technology

I have a bad habit of burying my face in Instagram when I should be burying it in the nape of my boyfriend’s neck. Don’t make your partner vie for your attention because technology has a hold on you. Be sure to unplug your devices and plug into your partner.

Not Drinking Enough Water

Think of sex like sport. When you're exerting yourself, hydration plays a major role. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to go down on your partner when your mouth is parched? Drinking enough water makes for more natural lubricant. You can also use water during foreplay by warming it up in your mouth before applying it to sensitive areas or by melting ice cubes against your partner's hot skin.


Eating Too Much Junk Food

I love to eat pizza as much as the next person, but when I overindulge, a food coma sets in. And then, the last thing I feel like doing is getting frisky. That’s why I try to keep the pizza parties to a minimum and eat healthy. I’ve found that adding fun super-foods to our diet helps a lot. For example, a small dose of maca (also known as nature’s Viagra) to morning smoothies works wonders for the libido. Make sure that you check with your doctor before you add any supplements to your routine.

Wearing Pajamas

I’ve observed that the most arousing outfit I can wear to bed is my birthday suit. There’s nothing sexier than cuddling up to your mate in the middle of the night completely naked. Skin against skin always wins over a fussy negligee or tattered jogging pants.

Not Sleeping Enough

I'm a night owl, but I've realized without sleep, an otherwise healthy sex drive suffers. Clocking in plenty of sleep guarantees you’ll have the energy to do the deed. Let cuddling in the buff be your incentive to hitting the hay.


Neglecting Your Animal Instincts

Because he can't read my mind, I’ve taken a cue from love birds and developed my own mating calls. Explore some fun and flirty techniques to let your partner know you’re ready for a romp. It can be as casual as flashing your breasts and shaking your rump or as elaborate as a striptease leading to the bedroom.

Falling Into a Routine

While developing a routine with your spouse is natural, it’s important to shake things up every now and again. If you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, break the cycle and do something wild. I suggest skydiving, learning to surf, or traveling to a foreign country. Interesting life experiences lead to an invigorated sex life.

Forgetting to Exercise

Life gets busy, and it’s easy to forget self-care practices like stretching, meditating and working out. Forgetting the self-care will bring all libidinous activities to a screeching halt. And that's a double whammy: sex is self-care too! If you want to get sweaty in the bedroom, consider working up a sweat at the gym more often.


Underestimating the Power of Touch

One of the most effective ways to get in the mood is by trading massages. Taking the time to caress your lover’s body, letting your fingers linger over naughty spots, is one of the quickest and most effective ways to reignite that spark. Who doesn’t like a happy ending?


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