Both of you can meet together on the app at the designated time. Once there, the D-type can take control of the s-type's fun, especially using any of the suggestions made on this list. These sessions can be used for mutual masturbation or they can be used as an all-night method of control that keeps your s-type under a "real-time" power exchange relationship where the D-type is in control throughout the evening. For real treat, try using interactive sex toys like the Kiiroo Onyx2 masturbator and Fuse rabbit vibrator. Once connected via an app, these toys can "feel" what's happening with the other toy and provide stimulation in turn. It's the closest you can get to having virtual sex.
Share a To-Do List
Are there things that need to be done in your household on a regular basis? Are you frustrated by spending valuable scene time trying to keep on top of your partner's inability to complete those tasks? Consider sharing a to-do list like with the Todoist app. Whether both partners are doing all of the items or the D-type is just using it to clearly explain all of the things they want the s-type to do, the Todoist app can be really helpful for making a clear list of what needs to be done without having to spend the time talking about it or reminding a partner.
Keep Track of Self-Care
Once again, technology is here to help us. In the world of digital information, you can use various apps to keep track of your partner's self care. No matter what your dynamic is like, these apps can help you check-in and see how your partner is doing as well as to remind them to make a change, if necessary. Use MyFitnessPal (and become friends with one another on it) to access to your partner's food and exercise log. This reinforces your watchful eye by messaging them when you see they haven't been on-track. More focused on getting all that stuff done that needs to be done? Use ChoreMonster to set up regular chores for your partner and see them checked off in real time. ChoreMonster even allows you to set "rewards" if they stay on top of things!
Read: Self-Aftercare Basics for the Single Kinkster
Assign Necessary Texts
Instead of requiring photos, you might require a partner to send a text. Texts can be used when the person is unlikely to want to snap a photo or only if information needs to be shared. An s-type might ask their D-type to send a good-night text every evening to know that they're on their D-type's mind. A D-type might ask the s-type to send a "made it to work" text every day, so they don't have to worry about the s-type's safety. Maybe one partner wants to require the other partner to send a "made it home from work" text to know when the partner is available for some fun assignments.
Set Up a Shared Calendar
Especially if you're in the power exchange world within a polyamorous relationship, keeping track of time and "who will be where" can quickly become a huge time sink. You might find yourself texting your partner questions about their whereabouts two weeks from now and then texting them again asking if it's date-night tomorrow night. Instead of wasting valuable fun time on logistics, consider a shared calendar. Google Calendar is a popular option, but there are lots of other shared calendar apps out there; find one that works best for you.
Read: A Polyamory Tool Kit: 5 Tips for Managing Your Relationships
Use Audio Capabilities
Most cell phones have built-in audio note programs. If yours doesn't (or you find yours lacking), there are quite a few free apps for this as well. While these apps were designed for note-taking and productivity, you can use them for nefarious means too. Here are a few fun options:
- Instead of just typing your task, the D-type can send a full audio file to the s-type with everything they expect from them.
- The D-type could pick out an erotic story and read it out loud in an audio file for the s-type to masturbate to later.
- The D-type could require the s-type to verbalize everything about their current favorite fantasy in an audio file of their own.
Most people tend to feel more comfortable typing than speaking out loud. There's something so sexy about hearing a stutter or nervous giggle from your s-type as they force themselves to speak things out loud.
Sexy, Sexy Sex Toys!
We're alive in a world where teledildonics exists. What is that? Well, they're sex toys designed to be controlled over the internet. Even if you aren't in the same room as your partner, you can still control their vibrator or sex toy and make your presence known. Teledildonics is still a small industry, but a few pioneering companies are already making exciting products. Companies such as Kiiroo make vibrators, anal toys and male masturbation sleeves that can be controlled through an Internet connection from anywhere in the world. Check out a review of Kiiroo's Fleshlight Launch and Fuse couples' set here.
Inspired D/s Over Long Distances
Now that you have some inspiration, it's time to think about how practical these ideas are in your life. All of these ideas can be fantastic ones, but unless they become part of your daily routines, they're going to flop. If you or your partner forget to check your to-do app on a regular basis, nothing is actually going to get done. If you aren't going to stay on top of your s-type to send you those goodnight texts every night, that habit is going to quickly slip by the wayside. While all of these ideas can be fantastic ways to incorporate D/s into your relationship with the help of technology, not all ideas are going to be applicable to your own dynamic - and that's OK! Try to pick and choose the best ones that work for your relationship(s).
These ideas should provide a few benefits for your relationship, including streamlined productivity, reinforcing the dynamic, or fun. If it's not doing any of those three, it's probably not a good fit for you.