Read: A Beginner's Guide to Food Play
Anything That Was Just in a Butt
Whether it’s a sex toy, finger, penis, or anything else, once it’s been inside of a butt, it should never go directly into a vagina without being thoroughly washed first. Anal bacteria is much different than the stuff in your vagina and can break down vaginal pH, potentially causing all sorts of painful infections. Anal play is fun. So is vaginal play. Just be careful about mixing the two.
Tampons Dipped in Yogurt
Yes, this is a thing. If you’ve ever sought to ease the profound discomfort that is a yeast infection then you’ve likely come across the popular home remedy of soaking a tampon in yogurt as a natural alternative to treatment. And while it might work in theory, it also runs the risk of causing infection. Yeast and bacteria thrive in moist, cavernous places like the vagina, so unless the yogurt in your fridge has been sterilized (it hasn’t), it’s better to stick with drugstore treatments like Monistat.
From detox teas to detox diets, ours is a culture obsessed with ridding our bodies of mysterious “toxins” in an effort to achieve some kind of purity, so it’s no surprise that the trend has made its way to the vagina. Detox pearls are cloth balls filled with herbs that will allegedly reset natural balances and magically regulate the vagina’s processes. But, as mentioned, the vagina is self-cleaning; it doesn’t need additional, miscellaneous “stuff” to make it clean and pure. And trying to “purify” it anyway is, at best, a waste of money and, at worst, potentially dangerous. So, save your detox pearl money and put it toward something that will really make your vagina happy, like a high-quality sex toy.
Vaginal steaming is another potentially harmful trend that’s been making cultural waves (thanks, Gwyneth Paltrow). Vaginal steaming essentially involves hanging your bits over steaming hot water, often with medicinal herbs included. Much like detox pearls, vaginal steaming is viewed by some as a method of “cleansing” the vagina, which, like we said, already cleans itself. Proponents claim that a regular vaginal steam bath will purify and revitalize the uterus, thereby reducing menstruation pain, despite any hard evidence supporting its efficacy. But this treatment isn’t just a waste of money; it can also rid the vagina of good, infection-fighting bacteria while running the risk of causing serious burns to ladybits and the surrounding areas. Plus, a professional steam can cost big bucks. If you want to "rejuvenate" your nethers, save your money and invest the time is some good sex instead.
So, now that you know what not to put in the vagina, go forth and (safely) enjoy the myriad toys, appendages, and lubes that make it a happy, healthy, and highly pleasurable place to be.