What are forced orgasms?

Q:

What are forced orgasms?

A:

Forced orgasms and involuntary orgasms are often confused. Although on the surface they may seem the same, they are very different! Both of these events involve having an orgasm in a contested struggle. One is fun and sexy, the other is a violation.

A forced orgasm is a fun type of play often used in BDSM. It is used in a scene to give someone an orgasm without their permission, but with their consent. Usually there is contested play going on where the dominant partner restrains or ties down the submissive partner and tries to bring them to orgasm. The person that is being restrained tries to prevent the orgasm from happening as a test of wills against the top and their own ability to control their orgasm. The orgasm is resisted, but the consent is there for the orgasm to occur, so it’s really a win-win for everyone. The attempted denial and challenge of control is the fun part of this. This is also referred to as "consensual non-consent."

Typically, a scene using forced orgasm would involve bondage. The submissive should be restrained at the wrists, ankles, and hips to prevent too much movement. Sensory deprivation such as blindfolds are also used to heighten the sensation. I like to use a powerful Hitachi like vibrator on the clit along with two fingers rubbing the g spot to bring female submissives to orgasm. Cunnilingus is also a great way to achieve the orgasm. Guys generally are easier because you can use a simple handjob or blowjob to make them cum. Communication is the ultimate key to finding out what is the best way to make your partner cum. Find this out first and use the information "against" them!

Usually a safe word is used to stop the play if something goes wrong or someone changes their mind. A safe word is something one usually wouldn’t say during sex/kink activities like "banana" or "Einstein." When engaging in contested play, it’s essential to do this so that someone has the ability to communicate without breaking the scene.

Involuntary orgasms are sexual arousal and orgasm that happens during forced sexual contact. It can happen regardless of the gender of the person. If some has an orgasm during a rape, it is not their fault. The body can’t help responding to external sexual stimulus and in no way does this mean that consent to a sexual assault was given. Many of the incidences of this sort of assault go unreported due to "slut shaming" and "rape culture."

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