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A forced orgasm is a climax experienced by someone who gives up control during sexual play. A submissive person may have a forced orgasm after focused stimulation from a dominant person. As the name of this climax suggests, a forced orgasm occurs even when a person is trying not to come. This is a common element during BDSM and kink play, particularly dominant/submissive scenes.
A forced orgasm occurs when a submissive partner attempts to delay their orgasm. The dominant partner stimulates their genitals and other erogenous zones to try to trigger an orgasm. This stimulation can occur through vaginal, oral, or anal sex, but it usually occurs with fingers or sex toys. The dominant partner often uses a rope or other bondage tools to restrain their submissive partner while trying to make them come. The restrained submissive partner loses control of their body, so they can't influence when they orgasm and how intensely.
A forced orgasm may involve a dominant person triggering a single orgasm or several orgasms. Multiple forced orgasms are more common with submissive people with vaginas, who have shorter refractory periods than people with penises. When submissives have multiple forced orgasms, overstimulation can change the sensations in their bodies from straight pleasure to a kind of pleasure-pain. The feel-good endorphins released during orgasm should ensure pleasure dominates, though.
While they are both called forced orgasms, the term in a BDSM or kink context differs from an orgasm a victim has during a sexual assault. In a BDSM or kink context, the person receiving a forced orgasm is always a willing participant granting their full consent. As forced orgasms can occur with consent, people who have non-consensual forced orgasms may feel confused or ashamed. This is why it’s so important that people understand a forced orgasm in a BDSM or kink context is very different from one that occurs without consent.
Forced orgasms are usually a very stimulating and erotic experience for the submissives receiving them and the dominants triggering them. For submissives, having a forced orgasm is a way to feel a great deal of pleasure at the hands of the dominant. The feeling of helplessness can heighten the experience and make the practice even more pleasurable. Dominant partners also enjoy being able to control every part of their submissive’s experience, including their sexual response. This can be a real rush.
A forced orgasm may occur on its own or be an element of a larger scene. It can also be a part of any BDSM scene, including the experimentation of people dipping their toes into kink. A dominant partner can use forced orgasm as a way to control a submissive's body or even punish naughty behavior, while still giving the submissive a great deal of pleasure. The dominant partner may tell the submissive when they have to come or withhold the submissive’s orgasm until they beg for permission.
Dominants often trigger forced orgasms in conjunction with other methods of orgasm control, such as edging and orgasm denial. Triggering a forced orgasm after a period of extended delay, through edging and orgasm denial, can make the forced orgasm even stronger and more intense.
A forced orgasm may also be a part of a role-playing scene. For example, the dominant and submissive could act out a rape fantasy, where a dominant attacker forces their victim into an orgasm. Another option may be a doctor-patient role play, where the dominant doctor forces their submissive patient to orgasm during a gynecological exam. Perhaps the dominant could play a supervillain who forces the submissive superhero to climax and reveal their secret plans. The only limit with this kind of play is your imagination!
Forced orgasms are generally a very safe form of sex play, as long as there is proper consent. As the dominant assumes total power, they should make sure their submissive is a willing participant before play begins. The couple should discuss hard and soft limits so there is no confusion about what the submissive person is okay with being “forced” into.
If it’s their first time playing with forced orgasms, they may even discuss a comprehensive plan, so the submissive knows what to expect. They should also set a safe word and safe action, if restraints compromise verbal communication, so play can stop if the submissive partner feels uncomfortable. Engaging in aftercare after a forced orgasm is another way that dominants can look after their submissives' mental health.
If you're just tipping your toe into the world of BDSM, you may be unsure where to even start when it comes to planning out a scene.
We made this quiz to provide you with your next, or first, BDSM scene based on your own tastes and desires!