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Q:

I'm dating a man with a small penis. What can I do to make sure that I have an orgasm?

A:

Kinkly was asked:

I recently started dating a guy that I really like after getting out of a long-term relationship. He’s perfect in every way. There’s only one problem. He has a really small penis. It’s not like I need a huge penis to be satisfied, but I also have been able to orgasm with past partners. It's not happening with my new partner! What can I do in bed to up my chances of the big-O?

Lulu Answers

I feel this question needs to be taken in parts. First, is the penis small for you or small based on what you have heard/society says a penis needs to be? If you feel it's small for you, then is that a big part of your sex life? Is it always on your mind, so it's making sex hard?

No matter the penis size, there is no guarantee that it will make you orgasm. It has to do with how you feel with your partner/s and how you feel sexually about yourself. If you are not in the mood for sex, a different size won't change that. On the other hand, it could be that your mind and body are ready for sexual pleasure, but you still feel the penis is too small for you. Try some self-touching to help get you more in the mood and bring you closer to cumming or having an orgasm.

Read: The Best Positions to Make a Penis Feel Larger

Those self-touching things include stimulating your nipples, genitals, touching other erogenous zones and engaging in deep foreplay to get all partners nice and warmed up. Trying different positions can be a tremendous help; maybe a sex pillow/wedge can increase the feeling you are after. You can also add some toys and lubricants, and there are some lubricants that warm-up or cool down, which give the body different sensations that will for sure make your time great.

If all these things still don’t help, chat with the penis owner about maybe getting a wearable penis extender. (Please speak to your partner before getting one. Penis size gets emphasized so much in our society, it's important you think of the person's feelings).

The big takeaway is that you need to communicate with your partner if you are feeling uncomfortable and work on it with them. It will be amazing for everyone.

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