Will using vibrators decrease my desire for a partner?

Sunny Megatron
Profile Picture of Sunny Megatron Sunny Megatron is a sexuality educator, sex and relationship writer, media personality, Youtuber, and sex toy expert. She’s also the host and executive producer of the Showtime original television series, SEX with Sunny Megatron. Her work has been featured in Cosmo, Playboy, Jezebel, Buzzfeed, CNN, Refinery29, Playgirl Magazine, and more. She’s been one of Kinkly’s Sex Blogging Superheroes for 3 years running and was given a Kinkly Reader’s Choice award in 2015. Sunny’s passion is helping people become their authentic, sexual selves by learning to overcome shame and shed inhibitions.  Full Bio
Q:

I've heard using vibrators regularly will eventually decrease my desire for my partner. Is this true?

A:

While a partner may never be able to mimic the intense vibrations of an Original Magic Wand, comparing motorized masturbation to partnered sex is like comparing apples to oranges. Toys can’t whisper sweet nothings in your ear, hug you closely, or give you that look that makes you practically climax right then and there. In other words, it’s more than just speed and precision that makes having sex with your partner so satisfying. It’s the skin to skin contact, chemistry you have with each other, and plenty of other things only humans provide that help you maintain desire and heighten sexual arousal.

Many people also find solo sex sessions with vibrators can enhance partnered sex. When you are using a toy alone, you’re discovering different things your body likes. If you let your partner know about your new discoveries, it can make the sex you have together better even when your partner is relying on good, old-fashioned manual stimulation. Also for some people, the more sex they have, the hornier they become. You may find using a vibrator by yourself boosts your libido. This can have you lusting after your partner more than you would normally.

There’s also something to be said for using vibrator with a partner. They aren’t just for solo masturbation or a simply second-rate option you only resort to when you can’t get the "real thing." Couples often find using sex toys during lovemaking makes them feel more connected and inspires creativity prompting them to experiment and explore.

Wearable couples vibrators like vibrating cock rings, such as the Lelo TIANI or WeVibe 4, that work with partnered intercourse can also be a wonderful starter toy for those apprehensive about adding sex toys in the bedroom. Unlike most toys which are usually only used to stimulate one partner at a time, you can both get in on the action simultaneously with a device like this. A large body massager vibrator like a Magic Wand or Doxy Wand placed between your genitals when you’re holding each other close can also have a similar effect.

Odds are using a vibrator won’t decrease your desire for your partner. You actually may find the opposite is true, they very well could make you hunger for your partner even more.

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