There’s a lot of interest and curiosity around strap-on sex. It's different, harnesses can be very sexy and dildos come in so many amazing shapes, styles and colors. But along with that natural interest in this activity, there's also a lot confusion and misconceptions. Don’t be intimidated! All kinds of couples enjoy strap-on play and if you think it sounds hot, it might work for you too. Here are a few things you should know before getting started.

Strap-On Sex Isn't Just Just for Lesbians

Yes, lesbians do use strap-ons, but so do lots of other sexy people! Heterosexual couples might strap-on to try pegging (hello, prostate!). It's really popular and is a great way for partners who don't usually get to be the penetrator to give that role a go. (Hint: It's harder than it looks!)

Strap-on play can also be used for double-penetration play and can even be a way for a partner without a biological penis to watch and experience what it’s like to receive a sexy blow job. Finally, strap-ons are also often used by those who experience erectile dysfunction but still want to enjoy and provide their partner with penetrative sex play. These strap-ons often use a hollow dildo, which slips right over the penis, acting as a sexy prosthetic.

The bottom line? Strap-ons can be used by just about anyone, whether they already have a penis, or they would just like to try one on for the evening.

Read: Peg Me, Please: The Straight Man's Guide to Getting Pegged by His Woman

Strap-Ons Should Be Comfortable

Don’t assume that strap-on harnesses are like lingerie. Unless they’re just for show, they’re likely going to be worn for some time, so they need to comfortable. But they also need to make the wearer feel beautiful and sexy. After all, rocking a strap-on is all about confidence. While you’re wearing it, it’s your very own penis, so you need to be able to own it. This means that you should consider how the harness will look, how it will feel and how you will feel wearing it. You should also think about how you’re going to get in and out of it. Complicated set-ups can really kill the fun. Plus, a lot of people want to use their harness spontaneously, so make sure it’s a design that’s can be ready when you are. (Brief-style harnesses are great for this and are very popular as a result!)

Em.Ex Active Harness by SportsheetsCute and comfy? Yes, please! Check out this awesome new brief-style harness from the Em.Ex line at Sportsheets.

They Come in Different Types

As we've already hinted at, there are a few key types of strap-on harnesses. Knowing what you're into in terms of feel and function will better help you choose the right one for you.

  • Jock Strap Style Harnesses: This style fits much like a jock strap, with straps that go under your butt cheeks. This is the most basic style of harness, and it's one that's often seen in beginners’ harnesses because it’s relatively simple and comfortable and works for lots of body types. The Entry-Level Strap-On from Sportsheets is as basic as it gets - but sometimes simple is good!
  • Thong or G-String Harnesses: These include a strap around the waist and one that goes between the butt cheeks. Some might find this style less comfortable than other sites, but that might be outweighed by the fact that it looks great from the back! Check out the Bare As You Dare Harness - it's as minimalist as it is hot.
  • Brief-Style Harnesses: These harnesses aren’t harnesses at all but a simple, durable set of briefs with a ring out front for a dildo. They’re easy to put on, comfortable to wear and easy to clean.

Which one is right for you? It depends on what kind of fit and style you’re looking for – and also which style you think will make you feel like your sexiest self.

Read: A Woman's Guide to Pegging

One Ring to Rule Them All

If there’s one really important component of strap-on harnesses that often gets left out of the discussion, it’s the O-ring. That’s the ring up front that you slip the dildo through and that’s designed to hold that dildo in place. Most harnesses have a metal O-ring with a one-inch diameter. Although this can accommodate many dildos, it’s always nice to have options. Look for harnesses that include stretchy silicone or rubber O-rings. This not only gives you a little more wiggle room in terms of dildo size, but the soft material may also be more comfortable against the body. Plus, if you're looking for a brief-style harness, a non-metal O-ring allows you to wear it anywhere without setting off the metal detector. The Sportsheets Em.Ex brief-style harness shown below has a built-in nitrile O-ring, making it soft and comfy to wear anytime.

Em.Ex Active Harness by SportsheetsThis harness is so cute and comfy, you can (will want to) wear it all day. Em.Ex line at Sportsheets.

It’s All About Fit

If you want your harness to feel good, it has to fit. If you aren't buying the product at your local sex shop, where you will be able to hold up the item and maybe even try it on over your clothes, you should look at the measurements of the harness and use a measuring tape (the soft kind that a seamstress might have), to measure your hips and figure out what size you'll need. The harness should fit snugly against your body so that the dildo sits firmly against your pubic mound; a droopy dildo is never a good thing.

The Dildo Changes Everything

Finally, a strap on harness is nothing without a dildo. The good news is that there are SO many great options in dildoland. When it comes to choosing a dildo, you have to think of a few key things. First, what experience are you and your partner looking for? Is your partner looking for prostate or G-spot stimulation? Are they into certain dildo shapes or textures already? What size of dildo is likely to work for them?

Second, you should think about you and what you want out of this experience. After all, this is your penis, if only for a few minutes or hours! Are you hoping for a more realistic look, or do you dig something more whimsical? Do you have a favorite color in mind?

Finally, if you have erectile dysfunction, you'll want to look into a hollow dildo. These allow the penis to fit comfortably inside, allowing you to properly position your dildo so you can thrust like you normally would.

Strap On the Fun

Strap on sex is fun and creative and adaptable. In other words, it’s all the things great sex should be. And, with the right equipment, it can be everything you want it to be. Why not give it a try?