What is it about sex that makes us feel connected to each other? Part of the answer might be post-coital cuddling, some research shows. But still, there's definitely something special about spending time naked, giving each other pleasure, and connecting in this unique physical and emotional way that sex provides.
Although all sex can promote intimacy, some positions are better than others. Positions where you are physically close, able to look each other in the eyes, and have greater access to your partner's body, all help make partners feel closer to each other.
Here's a curated position playlist of positions that promote more intimacy.
Looking for more ideas? Check out our Sex Position Playlist.
The Love Seat: Comfy and Close
I must admit I'm a big fan of the Love Seat. Having done it in, ahem, my parents' recliner while they were away on vacation, it has a way of bringing me back to the comfort of home, and making me feel safe and loved.
This position is great for intimacy because it involves partners wrapped in each other's arms. The receiving partner has their legs around the giving partner's waist, and the giving partner can hold the receiving partner against their chest.
It's also a good position for the receiving partner to control depth and speed, and for the giving partner to relax and sink into the closeness and intimacy the position provides.
Pancake With A Pillow: As Close as You Can Get
Pancake With a Pillow is a deep penetration position, so it's brings you and your partner basically as close as you can get, with extra depth for the receiving partner. Lifting the legs and the hips lets the giving partner reach deeper than any other missionary-type position. Putting the pillow under the hips provides lumbar support and tilts the pelvis upwards; putting it under the neck lifts their head up for easy deep kissing.
This is one of my favorite positions, especially if my male partner has a more average penis size. (Longer penises tend to hit my cervix and hurt me.) It feels intimate yet vulnerable, and you get to be in contact with a lot of your partner's body.
A well-placed pubic bone on top can also stimulate the clitoris, which is a great extra too...
Crotch Lift: Athletic Intimacy
The Crotch Lift position is both physically challenging and intimate. The giving partner stands and holds the receiving partner under the knees, and lifts them up so they can penetrate them. Beware: this requires SERIOUS arm, shoulder and leg strength!
One way to make it easier is to hold the receiving partner against a wall, so some of the pressure is lifted from the giving partner. The receiving partner must still hold on to the giving partner closely, giving this position a nice intimacy factor.
Although this position can be great for a quickie, it's also perfect for gazing into each other's eyes and feeling close. Although it's probably not the best for long, drawn-out lovemaking sessions, it can be a nice compromise between something fast and something intimate.
The Facing Spoon: Slow and Sensual
Sometimes you want to have a long, deeply sensual time that doesn't necessarily involve deep, hard, fast thrusting.
The Facing Spoon position is perfect for a shallower penetration, but more clitoral stimulation. The partners face each other lying on their sides. The receiving partner opens up their legs and the giving partner penetrates them. The receiving partner can then close their legs and grind their clitoris against their partner's body, or with one hand. This position is great for people with a premature ejaculation problem, as the slow and shallow penetration can help control sensations.
This position enables both partners to kiss and caress. The penetration itself can be a little challenging, so some couples may find that simply grinding against each other is pleasurable too. The closeness of this position is really what matters here. Partners are fully in contact with each other, can look into each others' eyes, and can share a slow, sensual and intimate time together.
The Lotus: Pleasure on Top
This classic Kama Sutra position is perfect for people with vaginas and clitorises who want to take it slow and take control of their pleasure.
The giving partner sits on the floor or bed with legs in the lotus position (if you can), cross-legged, or with legs stretched. They can sit against a wall for extra support, or use a meditation cushion for more comfort. The receiving partner then straddles their lap, wraps their arms around their shoulders and their legs around their waist, and mounts them.
In this position, the giving partner has no control or any way to thrust. It's an amazing position for those with premature ejaculation, as they are able to focus on their own sensations rather than have to worry about their partner. The receiving partner can go at their preferred speed and depth, while staying completely connected with arms, chest and legs. (Get more details about this position in Try It Tonight: Lotus Sex Position.)
Go Forth and Get Intimate
There are all kinds of awesome ways to have sex, but sometimes it's nice to get cozy and intimate with your partner. We hope these positions help you connect!