If you’re anything like me, you started your adventure into the realm of sex toys with a small, discreet vibrator. Of course, you called it a massager. You kept it under your pillow. Wink, wink. Soon, you were buying and trying more “daring” pleasure products and had an entire nightstand drawer dedicated to your new purchases.

Inevitably, you reach a point when owning your own realistic dildo needs to be a reality. I reached this point, and found there are a lot of dildo choices out there. I put together a few handy tips I learned along the way to help guide you through the next step of your sex toy journey - buying your first dildo!

How Will You Use Your Dildo?

First and foremost, you must take into consideration how your new dildo will be used. Will its only purpose be self pleasure? Will this dildo be used on your partner? If you and your partner are interested in pegging (the act of a woman anally penetrating a man) you will definitely need to take your partner's preferences in consideration as well. (Quick tip: Use condoms on any dildos you will be sharing with others or using for pegging.)

So, if the dildo is for you, you will be pleased by the abundance of products available. If it’s for partner play, this should be a joint decision. Either way, you’ll be equipped with all the information you need!

Considering the Size and Shape of Your Dildo

After determining dildo use, you can start to explore shapes and sizes. (Quick tip: dildos have balls and dongs don’t.)

When I was searching for my first dildo to use for pegging, my initial thought was, “Well, I had better choose a large one because I would definitely be well-endowed if I were a guy.” I tried on a harness - an adjustable version is your best bet - and attached a 10-inch member to it. My back immediately bowed as I tried to keep it upright. I looked down and noticed it looked like I had a beer belly. Was this the real reason for beer bellies on men? It was obvious that I needed to put aside my ideas of penile grandeur if for nothing else but to prevent back strain. My partner also looked relieved when I chose a smaller model.

If realism isn't what you're after, there aren't only phallic shapes in all lengths and girths, there are also non-phallic shapes that offer different stimulation options, such as G-Spot or P-Spot specific arousal. Just like fancy condoms, you’ll have ribbed, bumped and swirled textures to choose from. The diversity stretches even further with phallic-shaped options; six- through 12-inch lengths with slim, regular, or maximum girths both with and without balls are available. This is your opportunity to choose the penis that is perfect for you! How often have you dreamed about the perfect penis without having to deal with the man attached to it? Now is your chance! Enjoy this experience.

Color Options

Color is also something to take into consideration. While most non-phallic dildos are offered in an array of vivid colors, most phallic-shaped dildos come in white, brown and black. This is your opportunity to have that casual fantasy affair with a Latin lover! Just choose the color option that most appeals to you.

Sex Toy Materials

You need to put consideration into the material. While there are many PVC options that are body safe and optimally affordable, especially for your very first dildo. There are also numerous material options that cover a variety of wants and needs. There are realistic skin options made of TPE (Thermoplastic Elastomers) and TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber) that mimic the feel and appearance of real skin, such as dildos from Doc Johnson’s The Realistic Cock collection, made of UR3. For the cock connoisseur, I would highly recommend silicone. Silicone is a body-safe material that is hypoallergenic, nonporous, and odorless. It’s also exceptionally hygienic and can be cleaned and sanitized in a variety of ways – in your dishwasher on the top rack, boiled on the stove for 3-5 minutes as long as they don’t have a vibrating component in them, or cleaned with a 10% bleach/water solution. All of this combined makes silicone the most sought after material on the market. (Learn more in Keeping It Clean: Top Tips for Sex Toy Sanitation.)

To Vibrate or Not to Vibrate, That's the Next Consideration

One last consideration – vibration! Even though you’ve graduated to a dildo, that doesn’t mean you have to give up your love of vibration. There are vibrating dildos as well as harnesses that offer vibration or a space to insert your own vibrating bullet.

Lube

So, you’ve chosen your purpose, size, shape, color, texture, material, and vibration elements. What’s left to do? Choose the right glide or lubricant before you get started. There’s nothing worse than getting a new toy and not having the accessories needed to start the fun. Water-based or a hybrid of water-and-silicone-based lube is always the recommended favorite because of their compatibility with pleasure product materials.

However, if you have chosen a dildo for pegging or anal play, a long-lasting silicone glide or lubricant is the way to go. Just remember that if you’re using it with a silicone dildo, make sure to wash the toy after play. Always store your toys separately because certain materials may react to each other. Yes, this may mean that you’ll have to clear out another drawer in your night stand for all your new dildos.

There you have it. You now know everything that you need to know in order to choose the perfect dildo for your life. I hope you have a lot of sexy fun!