Bloody Hell! Is Period Sex Really a Big Deal?

In my life I have proposed one sex act to multiple partners and received responses so varied it seems noteworthy. Before we talk about the act, let’s talk about some of the wildly different responses:

• "Hell no! That is never appropriate!"
• "Yeah ... that’s something I feel like you talk about when you’ve been together for a while."
• "I'm a grown man for god's sake! Grab a towel and let's go!"

What was the act in question? What was the thing that I put on the table that was so daunting that only one man out of three felt he could rise to the occasion? Better question: What was the thing that made two partners rethink sleeping with this adorable, sassy redhead? Sex during my period. (Get some background on menstruation and its fascinating, wacky and sometimes downright scary history in "Flow: The Cultural History of Menstruation.")

The Great Debate

Period sex is a divisive issue. A quick spin around the Internet reveals that folks are talking about it all the time. Now, obviously, no one should feel they have to engage in any sex they are not comfortable with, period sex included but, frankly, I think the extensive conversation around the issue is a little absurd and shows that as a society, we haven’t entirely moved past the idea that menstruation is “unclean," and menses unmentionable.

Read: How to Have Spiritual Sex During Your Period

After all, the products sold for their periods are called "feminine hygiene products" - because it's so dirty! Those products emphasize discretion and secrecy and their advertisements often feature weird blue liquid - because heaven forbid we even imply that there's blood coming out of there.

But here’s the thing: menstruation isn’t a flaw. When someone has their period they are not sick or broken. It is just the body doing exactly what it's designed to do. And when it comes to sex, there's no reason to assume that menstruation by its nature puts us out of commission. In fact, many folks don’t want to treat their period as a mandatory sexual time out.

After all, if someone has a uterus, they are likely to spend an estimated 3,500 days of their lifetime menstruating. If you take period sex off the table, that could mean a lot of wasted sexual potential. So, rather than assume sex is just not doable for several days each month, or worry about the mess of period sex, let's look at the positive side.

Why Period Sex Rocks

There are a few great things about period sex - for everyone involved - that are often overlooked. Add these up and it's pretty clear that not only is period sex perfectly OK, it might just be frickin' great.

• A shorter period: Orgasm can trigger uterine contractions, which increases your flow post-sex, leading to a shorter period. Woohoo!
• Relief from cramps: Those same uterine contractions cause the release of oxytocin, a happy brain chemical that can end your cramp suffering - without side effects.
• Increased lubrication: Having your period means a little extra lubrication, which can make sex more enjoyable for both partners.
• A little extra heat: The increased hormonal activity that takes place during menstruation can, for some folks, actually increase sex drive.

How to Rock Period Sex

OK, so maybe you’re on board with the whole period sex thing, at least in theory, but then you go "Hey, what about my sheets!?"

I hear you, but there are a few simple things you can do to contain the mess. Plus, as long that mess is easily cleaned up, who really cares? Sex is kinda messy at the best of times (actually, especially at the best of times!)

Keepin' It Clean

First, don't be shy about protecting your bed (or couch or ottoman, etc.). The towel is a tried-and-true period sex staple. Throw one down and have at it. If you want to get fancy with it, there are waterproof blankets specifically designed to protect beds and other surfaces from the inherent messiness of sex and period sex is an excellent reason to bust one out.