5 Reasons Why Your Partner Just Bought You a Sex Toy

There’s an old saying about gifts that suggests that it’s the giver who truly gets the most out of the transaction. Clearly, whoever came up with that little nugget never received a sex toy. As long as it’s received under the right circumstances, a sex toy is truly a gift that keeps on giving ... and giving and giving. And it’s waaayyy better than the other "standard" romantic gifts like flowers (they die), chocolates (you eat them) or a vacuum cleaner (it happened to me).

The other problem - at least for sex toy lovers - is that sex toys don’t get thrown around as gifts more often. Birthday - sex toy! Anniversary - sex toy! Christmas - sex toy! Federal holiday of unknown significance - sex toy! Sadly, the world just doesn’t work that way. But, if you’re hoping to receive a new pleasure product sometime in the near future, here are a few things that might boost your odds.

There’s a Major Sporting Event Going On

If you’re a woman who’s hoping to receive a sex toy from a man, a major sporting event might just be your ticket. According to a survey released by LELO, men account for 72 percent of sex toy sales during the World Cup Soccer tournament (which kicks off today!), up more than 20 percent from the typical 50/50 ratio of male and female purchasers. And they aren’t shopping for themselves either - LELO reports that sales of female-centric toys, like SORAYA and GIGI 2, also rise by 60 percent during the same period. So are all these men just hoping to keep their lady loves out of the way during the tournament, or are they so sweet and considerate that they want their lovers to experience a comparable level of visceral bliss? Actually, who cares? It's a sex toy! Ole Ola!

If you don’t get lucky with this sporting event, LELO has found similar spikes in male generosity during the Super Bowl and even the Tour de France.

You’re Broke

Well, maybe not you, exactly, but if there’s a recession going on, your odds of receiving a sex toy shoot up. Throughout the debt crisis and recession in the U.S., sex toy retailers reported increasing sales and profitability, leading many analysts to refer to sex toys as "recession proof" (a description that leads me to believe most analysts have never used one). Of course, a good-quality sex toy is still a luxury - and often a pricey one - but when people are staying in in an attempt to save money, well, they need something to do. (Learn more in How Sex Toys Can Help You Play Nice With a Partner.)

Your Partner Is Obligated to Give You Something

This one’s no surprise: If it’s a gift-giving holiday, you’re more likely to get a sex toy from your partner. And hey, if you don't get a sex toy, at least you'll get something. According to research from Kristen Mark and the experts at Good In Bed, Valentine’s Day is a huge holiday for sexy gifts: 30 percent of people said they planned to get their partners a sex-oriented gift of some sort. Christmas moves the needle too. In fact, when sex toy retailer Lovehoney ran a simple 20-second TV ad in Britain, the company saw a 56 percent surge in sales. As it turns out, a whole lot of people wanted to put a sex toy in someone's ... um ... stocking. All they needed was a little inspiration.

The Media Reminds Everyone That Sex Toys Exist

First, there was "Sex in the City," whose reference to the rabbit vibrator made the toy an acceptable household appliance. And then, well, there was "Fifty Shades of Grey," which sent scores of women racing out to buy sex toys, bondage equipment and even plain old rope. It boosted sex toy sales overall, but especially sales of Ben Wa balls; demand for those babies shot up 400 percent in 2012 in response to the book’s popularity.

You Can't See Your Neighbors

If you’re hoping your partner will gift-wrap a shiny new sex toy for you, it’s most likely to happen if you live in ... Wyoming. Yup, that’s right, according to data collected by sex toy retailer Adam & Eve in 2012, this state boasts the highest rate of sex toy sales per capita, followed by Alaska, North Dakota, Montana and Vermont. Although if an anal toy is your heart's desire, you best be in Mississippi. The question is, are these low population states scooping up sex toys because the people there are lonely and real, live sex partners are fewer and farther between ... or do they just have more privacy during play-time.

Of course, if you never get a sex toy as a gift, you can always treat yourself. Or, you know, just ask your partner to buy you one. OK, OK, it isn’t as romantic, but give it a shot. It’ll be just as satisfying, promise.