If you are single and want to dabble in the world of polyamory, you should talk to people you know who already do it. They can answer all of the questions you you might have and help you decide if this lifestyle is right for you.
Threesomes, Swinging and Other Poly Relationships
While many people involved in polyamory do not participate in threesomes
, other types of open relationships think of this sexual taboo as an extra benefit because it allows both partners to experience the thrill of a new relationship together. (Learn more about threesomes in Should my partner and I choose a male or a female to create our first threesome?
Another kind of open relationship, known as swinging, allows people in a committed relationship to engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational activity. This is often done as a pair, and it can be a way to explore new avenues of shared sexual fulfillment. It also provides sexual variety and adventure, which some monogamous couples find lacking after being together for several years.
Regardless of what kind of polyamory you might practice, it's crucial for couples to be on the same page about what they want and don't want and to be open with each other. And no one should feel pressured to cross personal boundaries or limits, even when they're aiming to try something new. (For more on polyamory, check out When Your Partner Sleeps With Someone Else - And It Makes You Happy)
Would It Work for You?
Deciding if you should be in an open relationship is a very personal decision that requires a lot of self reflection. Be honest with yourself when you ask the following questions:
- Why am I doing this?
- How will I benefit from this arrangement?
- Can I picture my partner dating or sleeping with somebody else without getting upset?
- Am I avoiding commitment?
- Am I a jealous person?
- Am I doing this to add something to the relationship or for my own selfish reasons?
It is wise to enroll in a couple's of therapy session to find the source of your desire to be in an open relationship. Many people do it simply for a new experience or thrill, but others do it to avoid personal demons such as a fear of intimacy. In such cases, an open relationship can drive couples apart.
If you're involved in an open relationship for the right reasons, there can be numerous benefits to it. You can expand your sexual horizons, get to know more people, learn how to trust yourself and your partner in an entirely new way, and learn how to communicate better as a couple.
Think of it this way: When you look at the trajectory of your life, do you see your current partner at the end it? If so, why not have some fun with other people along the way? (Looking for other ways to add spice to your love life? See The Case for a Threesome (and Not the Kind You Think).