Sex Blogger of the Month: Malin James of MalinJames.com

It's December. You know what that means - time for Santa to check his list to see who's been naughty and who's been nice! It's also time for us to name another fantastic Sex Blogger of the Month. This month's featured blogger is Malin James of MalinJames.com and she's extra special because she's the winner of the erotica category in this year's Sex Blogging Superheroes contest. The blog also ranked 13th out of all blogs that received reader votes. So, what is it that we love about this blog? It's full of thoughtful essays and super-hot erotica. In other words, it's naughty and nice! Here Malin answers Kinkly's list of questions.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

Malin James: I know it might sound like a cheat, but the three words on my banner - people, sex, and culture - pretty much do it. They cover the scope of what my blog is about, or rather, more specifically, the intersection between the three.

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

Malin James: I’ve been a writer for nearly 20 years, but there were stories I wanted to write and topics I wanted to cover that I needed space to explore. I’ve always seen sex as an amazing lens through which to understand people and the culture we live in, but, at the time, my wheelhouse didn’t include much of it. The blog started as a place for me to publish those stories and essays. It kind of just grew from there.

Kinkly: What's behind the name?

Malin James: Not much - it’s just my name. Or my pseudonym, rather. I wanted to keep it simple.

Kinkly: Who's your target reader?

Malin James: I’m not sure that I have a target reader. I try to write in a consciously inclusive way. My greatest hope is that anyone who reads my blog, even someone whose beliefs diverge significantly from mine, might find something to connect to on a human level. This isn’t to say that I aim to please everyone who reads a post – that’s both impossible and counterproductive. It’s more that I try to write about sex, kink, and relationships in such a way that even someone with no experience of a particular thing might come away from a post with a bit more understanding of it, even if only in theory.

Kinkly: What's unique about your blog?

Malin James: Oh, wow. I’m not sure…I suppose the fact that my content is equal parts fiction and nonfiction is something. I also take a kind of an introspective slant on things. Even a general topic, like jealousy and the ethics of non-monogamy, tends to get a close look from a more personal angle. As much as I try to write from a place of consideration and perspective, I’m very present in my posts.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Malin James: Outside erotica, which makes up 50% of my blog, I’d say that the rest is split between non-monogamy and personal essays on everything from the awesomeness of going down on someone to recovering from abusive relationships.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Malin James: For fiction it has to be “Open Me.” I wrote it three years ago and it still gets daily hits. On the nonfiction side, “The Joy of Sucking Cock” is, hands down, the big winner. I have a feeling the title helps that one along.

Kinkly: What's the best thing about writing a sex blog?

Malin James: The best thing is definitely that there are no boundaries on what I can write about. For centuries, sex, religion and politics have been the three big, forbidden topics in our culture. The fact that I can write openly and broadly about one of them without having to think about censorship or propriety is a massively freeing thing.

Kinkly: What's the worst thing about it?

Malin James: I put myself on the page a lot in my posts, but even with that, I tend to be a really private person. Protecting my privacy and maintaining healthy boundaries is kind of exhausting, but necessary, at least for me.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff. Give us your best tip for great sex.

Malin James: It sounds simple, but honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your partner(s) about everything from what your fantasies and experiences, to what scares or excites you. Honesty, especially with yourself, helps counteract all sort of things from shame to misunderstanding. That’s why, in my experience, it’s the foundation for amazing sex, regardless of what kind of sex you have.