Sex Blogger of the Month: Emmeline Peaches

It's September, so you know what that means! Just as all the kids head back to school to learn something, you should take the time to learn something new (and sexy) too! As part of our Sex Blogging Superheroes project, we profile one of the best sex bloggers on the Internet each and every month. For September, we're excited to introduce you to Emmeline Peaches of Emmeline Peaches Reviews. Her sexy, informative posts will put you in the know and leave you wanting more. Here are Emmeline's answers to Kinkly's 10 questions.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog

EP: Honest, informative and descriptive.

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

EP: As a teen my own sex life was "troubled," to say the least. Don’t get me wrong, I had the most amazing partner (one I’m still with today), but I was also suffering from vaginismus and both of us were completely uninformed about the finer details of sex, let alone sexual dysfunction.

Still, I like to think of myself as a research fanatic and I made it a priority to become as knowledgeable as possible when it same to sex and sexuality. And, as it turns out, sex was a vocation of mine. The more I learned, the more I realized I had a passion for passion and my hunger for sex education expanded.

Eventually, Mr. Peaches and I invested in some sex toys, a set of dilators, and some really good lube. Over time we overcame my condition, but my desire to learn more about sex didn’t dissipate at this point. Far from it! Sex toys played such a huge part in my recovery that I wanted to sing their praises to everyone I knew.

In reality, it took a few more years before I was officially ready to do so. At the time of creating my blog, I had just started writing my Ph.D. thesis and was looking for a creative outlet outside of my academic writing. I knew it had to be something I cared about and something that I felt could actually make a difference and benefit people’s lives. Considering those criteria writing about sex was pretty much a given.

Kinkly: What’s behind the name?

EP: As part of my Vaginismus recovery, Mr. Peaches and I attended some sexual therapy sessions through which were told to set up a safeword for our sexual experimentation. "Peaches" was that safe word, chosen completely at random."Emmeline" is less significant, I’m afraid. I wanted an elegant first name to come before my fruity origins and Emmeline appealed to me the most. Its links to the suffragette movement and its slight appeal to the vintage meant that once I thought of it no other name would suffice.

Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?

EP: Anyone and everyone! In all seriousness, I try to be as inclusive as possible on my site. I’ll review a lot of "designer" sex toys, but I’ll also give equal consideration to a bargain lubricant or even a door-stopper (yes, I’ve reviewed a door-stopper). Ultimately, I want to create a space where anyone can come to find out more about adult products and their pros and cons. Because of this, I suppose I’m not aiming at a particular readership as much as I am a particular goal: that my readers walk away from my blog feeling as if they can make an informed and confident decision when it comes to their own adult purchases. If that happens then I’ve done my job right.

Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?

EP: Can anything be truly unique anymore? It’s hard to say, especially when there are so many great sex bloggers already out there! However, if we’re talking about what I personally value about my blog it would be as follows:

No matter the product, I always try to list the pros and cons as best I can and factor in personal preference as much as possible. No two bodies are the same and I’m very aware of this when writing my reviews. Because of this, I aspire to be as descriptive as possible when it comes to my personal experience and why a toy worked for me. Recreating the sensations I felt through the use of words is something I place a lot of value on. Any product page can (and will) list the specifications of a toy, but a good sex toy review should convey the experience of using the product in question. My focus on this aspect isn’t necessarily unique, but it is something that my readers seem to value and I’m very grateful for that.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

EP: Sex toy reviews, naturally. Reviews are at the heart of my blog, and I can’t imagine that changing any time soon. More specifically, I often find myself reviewing vibrators, but that’s to be expected: I’m a power queen at heart. I also adore reviewing lubricants, but sensitive skin often hampers my endeavors. Still, at least that means that any lubricant I recommend is most likely going to be hypoallergenic.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

EP: My Womanizer Pro W500 review is by far the most popular post that I’ve ever done. I think the Womanizer is such an intriguing toy that it naturally beckons a sense of discovery. The shape, name, and method of stimulation used by the Womanizer Pro W500 are different enough that people feel the need to discover more about it and just why it’s so well-received. I personally couldn’t be happier about this. It just goes to show that when it comes to adult products, modern consumers are no longer afraid to seek out information and to put careful consideration in to their long-term sexual investments. I feel truly honored to be able to play a role in that.

Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?

EP: Helping people engage in sexual awareness and self-love is by far the most rewarding thing. I started my blog to spread knowledge and inspire confidence in others so whenever I receive a thank-you email or a constructive comment, I can’t help but smile. It makes everything else worth it.

Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?

EP: Imagine, for a moment, that you’ve just purchased a new sex toy. This particular toy drew your attention due to its strange shape, innovative controls, and vibrations that promise a kick when placed on the back of your hand. Yet, then you get to trying it out and, well, it sucks. The controls are clunky, the shape feels awkward, and the vibrations are pitifully weak when actually used in a sexual capacity.

At this point, most people would cut their losses, discontinue use, or even get a refund. Not sex toy testers. We’re the ones who have to puzzle out why a toy doesn’t work, how our experience with the product can best be described, and who (if anyone) it might appeal to instead. Heck, even when a toy is good, chances are that a part of our brain is still thinking, “OK, but why does it feel that way? What would I call this sensation? How long did that orgasm last?”

Being a sex toy reviewer means that sex itself often becomes part of the review process and it’s incredibly difficult to switch off. What’s more, we don’t get the luxury of casting bad toys aside. Instead we have to compromise potentially enjoyable sexual encounters to give considerations to such a toy’s faults.

I’ve actually seen a few bloggers stop or reduce their review frequency because this increasingly analytical approach to sex was having a negative impact on their sex life, so it’s definitely an issue that requires attention. After all, we all need some time where was can just relax, stop thinking, and enjoy the ride.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.

EP: Be vocal! Most of us know that communication is an important part of any relationship but so many couples will lose their voice while actually having sex. Communicating during sex is perhaps one of the best ways to have a great experience. It allow you both to change pace straight away to try and hit the spot before any fears or worries can emerge about why something "just isn’t working."

Once your partner knows what positions or moves were effective they can also revisit them in future sessions, creating a solid foundation for even more great sex. This may seem daunting at first, but talking during sex doesn’t need to be a rigid affair. Start with some gentle “Yeah, that feels good,” or “Let’s change positions, shall we?” before slowly learning how to be more direct (“Today I want you on the chair,” “Grab me here. Firmer.”). As with all aspects of communication you’ll learn what works best for you over time.