Wanna Act Kinky in Public? Here's How to Do It Incognito

Do you know what's hot? Kinky stuff. Do you know what can make kinky stuff even hotter? Doing that stuff, discreetly, in everyday life.

While public kinky play isn't for everyone, it's certainly a turn-on for enough people that it's constantly talked about. (Though there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep kink solely in the privacy of your bedroom either!)

But for a lot of people, the built-in sexual tension with no "relief" partnered with adding kink to their everyday lives can be a powerful draw to kink in public. Not only does it give you and your partner a sexual "secret" no one else will know about while you're out, it also gives you both a fun, discreet way to add some flirtation and new memories to activities you've probably done many times before (like heading out to dinner).

I can't tell you much about the hundreds of times we went to my favorite restaurant - but I can certainly recount a lot more details about the time we went while we were wearing sex toys to dinner!

You can take the idea of "kinky public play" as in-depth as you want. For some people, the simple addition of public play sex toys is already A+ - they're very satisfied. For others, they might want to negotiate entire public play behaviors and dynamics for their kink relationship - to reinforce their D/s power exchange relationship when they're surrounded by others.

Whatever you choose to do, I have some inspiration to help up the ante - and some tips to ensure your kinky play stays between the two of you:

Panty Vibrators

There's a reason that "public panty vibrator" is exploding right now - that's because it's hot! For a lot of people, the idea of adding vibrations and pleasure while no one is any the wiser can be an erotic experience all to itself. Modern panty vibrators aren't like the ones we had twenty years ago - in fact, they use magnets to keep the vibrator in place - so you can wear them on your favorite panties and in the perfect spot for YOUR body. Some panty vibrators, like the Satisfyer Sexy Secret, are even cell phone controlled - no remote control to hide in your palm!

Other Remote-Controlled Sex Toys

Panty vibrators aren't the only remote-controlled sex toys out there - so if you don't have a clitoris, you can still join in! There are app-controlled or remote-controlled cock rings, remote controlled butt plugs, remote-controlled vaginal eggs and more! If clitoral sensation isn't your jam - or you don't have a clitoris - you can still enjoy the fun of handing over control to a partner - or using the remote on yourself while you're out solo.

Sending Picture Porn

If you and your partner are simply turned on by being aroused in public (with no one else the wiser!), there's an entire internet of porn available on your cell phone! Ensure your phone is on mute (we know how some adult sites might auto-play videos!), and take turns finding and sending your favorite adult shots to one another via text or your favorite cell phone messenger. Not only do you get the fun of being "discreet" while finding the shots, but the action happens entirely on your cell phone - which means you're just going to look like two people absorbed on their cell phones. Little does anyone know....

Naughty Cell Phone Tasks

If you want to up the ante for involving your cell phone in public play, the cell phone camera is a perfect way to do it. You can get as risky (or as tame!) as you want. If your place has a bit of coverage, an upskirt/unzipped pants picture at the table can be a hot one to send to your partner. If you want to assign a task for your partner to do for you in the public bathroom (and to provide pictures/video with their cell phone), you can always do that too.

(Just make sure to be sensitive to other's needs with the bathroom. If you're in a hopping nightclub where there's already a line for the bathroom, it's probably not the time. If the restaurant has 4 open stalls and is half-way empty, you probably have more wiggle room).

Wear a Collar

Do you know that "collars" are trendy in fashion right now? Yeah, I know, it's weird. When I shop fashion sites, it keeps advertising "collars" at me - which look just like the BDSM options I see at the dungeon. If you select a minimalistic day collar, you can easily wear this out in public - and if anyone questions it, feign ignorance or tell them you got it at a popular clothing store.

Read: 9 Tips for Buying a Play Collar

Under-the-Clothing Bondage

There are lots of bondage options that can be worn underneath clothing. For example, if you're wearing a long sweatshirt, you can easily hide wrist cuffs on your wrists. If you're wearing long jeans, ankle cuffs will disappear. While you probably aren't going to get a collar to disappear under a turtleneck sweater, there are lots of other bondage toys that can be easily hidden underneath clothing. For example, you could hide acupuncture spikes inside of a bra - or in the pouch of underwear for a penis. Don't forget about the ever-popular corset which can feel like bondage - but is entirely public-appropriate to wear out to your favorite spots!

Under-Clothing Rope Bondage

Bondage rope can also be a fun addition to add to your kinky public play - but only if you know what you're doing and have the body-friendly bondage rope to go with it. Hardware store rope can pinch and bruise, but properly-tied bondage rope harnesses with sex bondage rope can easily be hidden underneath loose clothing for public play. Look up a "karada rope harness" for one of the most beginner-friendly body harnesses that most people use in public.

Restrict Their Underthings

The easiest way to instantly "kink up" any public excursion is just to remove any underthings. Without a bra, panties, or briefs, the fabric of clothing is going to feel much different than your usual experience - and things will feel a bit different too. Just make sure not to sit down on any public surfaces without some sort of coverage between your bare self and the seat; that's just etiquette

Negotiate Secret Phrases

If you and your partner want to make a long-term plan for public play, you both can negotiate secret terms and phrases - and no one else will be any the wiser. "Can you get me a beer?" could mean that your partner is to go edge themselves in the bathroom first - and then come back with a beer. "How do you feel about the weather?" could mean that your partner is to unzip their clothing under the table. "Did you need to use the restroom?" could mean that your partner is expected to excuse themselves and add a sex toy onto their bodies that you both have packed ahead of time.

Movement Restrictions

You don't necessarily need to use bondage toys in order to do bondage. In fact, verbally telling someone not to do something can be surprisingly functional. If your partner is tapping their foot, ask them to stop - or else you'll do something kinky to them. Order them to keep their hands above the table where you can see them - or else you'll ask them to discreetly remove an item of clothing for each misstep. For some functionally-fun bondage, I recommend having one person learn about "proper" table manners and posture and require them on your evening - and add a count of all of the mistakes for punishment later.

Read: 6 Orders for Your Sub That Have Nothing to Do with Sex