I remember the first time I sexted: it was with a powder blue Nokia, the kind with a two-color screen and where you had to dig deep in the options to find the “SMS” function. It just wasn’t that big of a thing back then. At the time, people still used cell phones mostly to make calls and leave voice mail. It was also the kind of phone without an actual keyboard - you had to hit the number pad until you got the letter you wanted.
My first time sexting, as with most new sexual experiences, was a bit awkward. The typing issues made it slow to write responses, and it broke the magic a little. But it was also gripping. I couldn’t put my phone down. Every time it beeped, I would excitedly open the function and read what my lover had shared. It made us feel close even though we were in different places. I also had the time to process what he said and think of a good response. I didn't have to react right away like I would have had to do if this had been a phone conversation. It was my first venture into sexting ... but it wouldn't be my last.
Like a Love Letter
Sexting is the modern equivalent of love letters. If expressing your feelings and desires in writing is something you like, then you probably already sext quite a bit. It’s not a rare or abnormal behavior either; in fact, according to a new study presented to an American Psychological Association conference, 87.8% of adults have sexted at least once in their lives and 82.2% did so during the last year.
If we believed the anti-technology pundits about the death of romance through smartphones, then why are the wide majority of adults romancing their sweethearts via text message? Because sexting actually has some pretty hot benefits when it comes to your love life.
It's a Safe Place to Express Yourself
Given the choice of expressing their desires directly to a lover or through a mediated means like email or text messaging, many people prefer writing over talking. If you’re shy or not sure about how your partner will react to your fantasies, sexting can be a safe way to express darker, more hidden impulses and fantasies.
I know I’ve overcome my shyness about some sexual desires of mine through sexting. It’s easy to start a scenario and run it by your lover to see if he or she bites. If they do, maybe it’s high time you try it in the bedroom!
You Can Get to Know Each Other Better
There used to be a time when getting to know another person’s sexual desires and needs was done through trial and error in the bedroom, or through awkward conversations. Sexting has opened up another level of communication that can help you get to know a lover without even touching them.
This kind of exploration is great when you’re into online dating and just want to test the waters before you decide to have sex with someone. In fact, safely exchanging erotic scenarios from the comfort of your own home can become an erotic pleasure in itself. Which brings me to the next benefit:
Sexting Is Relatively Safe When Compared to Other Sexual Activities
Compared to physical sex, sexting is really safe. There’s no risk of sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy. Don’t like what your partner is saying? You can stop the conversation at any time and block the person from contacting you again.
Of course, if you share nude or erotic photos, there’s always a risk that your partner will share them around without your consent. That’s one of the risks of sexting, but you can avoid this by sticking to words and not sending images. You can also look for a sexting app; there are several out there that are designed to help you maintain any level of privacy you like.
Sexting Is Linked to Higher Sexual Satisfaction
Remember that study I mentioned above? It also discovered that people who sext tend to have better relationships and better sex, especially when the relationship is on the casual side. Although the study didn’t show the same results for people in committed relationships, sexting can still be a great way to be on your lover’s mind anytime, anywhere.
Sexting Can Help Break Your Sexual Routine
So, the physical sex has gotten a little routine. It happens in every relationship. With a little sexting, you can rekindle the sexy flame with your lover. Are they in a meeting? Tell them about the sexy undergarments you’re currently wearing. At a dinner with their parents? Share your fantasies about satisfying them orally under the table.
One thing I love is being able to share sexy thoughts in public places without anyone knowing. I often sext when I'm out for drinks with friends. It helps me remain spontaneous while being considerate of the situation.
As Always, Be Safe
As with everything that has to do with sex, safety should be your first priority. Learn how to protect your privacy if you are sharing images or videos with people you don’t know very well, and learn about the laws that forbid others from using these images without your consent. Use a chatting app for sexting with strangers or near-strangers instead of the native texting app on your phone to protect your phone number.
When done right, sexting is a great way to indulge in your desires and fantasies. Anonymous or committed, sexting is popular because it’s easy, safe and really gets our minds going - and you know what they say about the brain: it’s our biggest erogenous zone.
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