Got a Halloween party coming up? Or maybe you just have a hankering for something ... scary. Halloween is fast approaching, and it's not just kids who get to have fun. In fact, we were pleased to discover just how many Halloween-themed sex toys are out there. They range from creepy to cool to, well, kind of shocking. And while these probably won't be everyday favorites, they sure look like a lot of fun, especially if all you've got going on on Halloween is a bag of candy and a night to yourself. Keep reading. We've saved the best - and most bizarre - novelties for the end.
A Treat for the GrownupsWant to indulge your sweet tooth while indulging in a bit of bondage? This cherry-flavored candy ball gag could just add a little something sweet to seal up you or your partner's dirty mouth. Although if you don't like sticky drool, this probably isn't for you.
A Distinguished Strap-On AccessoryAre you going as a dashing gentleman for Halloween? Maybe part of a barbershop quartet? The MustachiO Vibrating Mustache accessory will make sure you're ready to give out the world's best mustache rides wherever and whenever they're needed. It comes in classic black or pink. Consider it the latest and greatest in "strap on" technology.
DIY Glow SticksJust when you think there can't be a better, more innovative lube out there in lube-land, you find something like Cosmic Bear Glow-in-the-Dark Lube. I can think of so many uses for this that go waaay beyond Halloween. I'd use it to highlight the path from my bed to the bathroom so that I can stop banging into things at night. I'd use it to decorate the outside of my house. Hell, this would be great before heading out for a night of clubbing. Or splatter it on all the walls to freak people out at a party! Oh yeah. And you could also use it as lube. Make your very own Halloween glow stick!
Lube Dressed Up As ...Halloween is all about subterfuge. A sticky, red corn syrup solution that looks like blood, peeled grapes that feel like eyeballs ... and lube that looks exactly like ejaculate. Yup, you heard that right. It's called Spunk Hybrid Lube. It's got a solid reputation as a silicone hybrid lubricant - and it's great for your "There's Something About Mary" references. (Learn more about silicone lube in The Ins and Outs of Sexual Lubricants.)
A Vibrator That'll Scare Your Pants OffDeath by orgasm! At least that's what the Death by Orgasm Scorpion Bullet Vibrator promises. This creepy, crawly vibrator comes packaged in a coffin case - and it packs at 10-speed punch. It's the perfect addition to a party, a bedroom, or a re-enactment of a horror scene. You know, one where there's a scorpion down your pants. It also comes in Black Widow or Vampire Bride versions.
A Devilish DildoNo Halloween would be complete without the devil. From the company that brought you the Baby Jesus butt plug, comes The Devil, a demon-shaped dildo. Well, why should trick or treaters have all the fun?
An Out-of-This-World ExperienceFleshlights tend toward looking rather human. Well, most of them, anyway. The Alien Fleshlight and its companion Alien Dildo are an inhuman shade of neon blue. Buy the set and you'll have yourself an intergalactic party.
For the Necrophiliac in Your LifeThink alien sex is weird? Fleshlight has a whole line called Freaks, which includes all kinds of Halloween-themed characters, including aliens, Frankenstein, Dracula and cyborg-styled masturbators. Oh, and then there's the Zombie Fleshlight (and matching Zombie Dildo).
Now tell me you didn't gag a little. Kudos to Fleshlight for their commitment to realism; that dildo in particular looks EXACTLY like a decomposing dick would (I guess? I'm imagining here). On the plus side; there's finally something for necrophiliacs. Oh, and for anyone holding a Halloween sex party. This is perfect for you.
Sex With Tom SelleckOK, so maybe this isn't much of a Halloween novelty, but I'm including it on the list because it's the only thing so far to have scared me more than the Zombie Dildo. Look at it! It's called "Mr. Jack w/ Mustache." What it's for is obvious - who it's for, less so. If you need to give someone nightmares, this is the way to do it. At $19, it's a small price to pay to scar your loved ones forever.