We know that sexuality is intensely personal and just a bit different for everyone. We also know what turns us on sexually is often rooted in our psyche for reasons we can't even begin to fathom. Maybe that's why some of the things other people find sexy seem so humorous to us. We're not here to judge what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms, cars, swimming pools, sex boxes and local alleyways ... but sometimes you've got to laugh at the wild things some folks will do in their pursuit of an orgasm.
In the News: Taking Sex Objects to a New Dimension
Daniel Cooper, a British man described as a "responsible family man" by his attorney, was arrested over the summer for getting naked and having sexy times with a Land Rover. No, not in the Land Rover, with.
Now, I realize that 4x4s are very popular, and that many men share special relationships with their cars. Maybe this is what the Germans meant by Fahrvergnugen, or "driving pleasure." Aside from the public embarrassment Cooper suffered as a result of the surveillance video shown in court, he paid a fine and was banned from going out between 7 p.m. and 7 a.m. on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. When I got grounded as a kid, we used to play in the driveway. Given Cooper's penchant for car-sex, he may have to stay inside altogether.
A photo of the land rover. Censored to protect privacy.
In the state of Ohio, it seems that inflatable objects make even better sex partners than cars. This past summer Edwin Tobergta, 34, was indicted on a charge of public indecency for having sex with an inflatable raft. While it's true that inflatable sex toys are not necessarily illegal, getting busy with them in public view certainly is. Apparently, the July incident was not the first (or second) time Tobergta was busted for engaging in public giggity with pool toys, rafts, and even an inflatable pumpkin. Tobergta ought to consider having his own pool installed. Then I'd say, he can do whatever floats his um .... boat.
Lest you think he's the only man who finds pumpkins arousing, I submit the 45-year-old man from Mount Clemens, Michigan, who was arrested in 2002 for having sex with a pumpkin - or, perhaps more specifically, doing it where his neighbors could see him. Of course, his exploits spawned a raft of urban legends about pumpkin love. In one version, a female officer asks the man if he is aware that his sex partner is a pumpkin. His masterful reply?
"A pumpkin? $%*! … is it midnight already?"
Wednesday Lee Friday is an eclectic writer of fact and fiction. She has worked as a reptile wrangler, phone sex operator, radio personality, concierge, editor, fast food manager, horror novelist, and she owns a soap shop. She prefers jobs that let her sleep during the day. Everybody knows all the best art and literature happen at night! Wednesday's work has appeared in Women's Health Interactive, Alternet, Screen Rant, The Roots of Loneliness Project and Authority Magazine.