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Men Don’t Buy Sex Toys As Often as Women. Here’s Why They Should.

Published: JUNE 29, 2017 | Updated: JUNE 28, 2020
pervasive beliefs about masculinity and male sexuality still affect the way men perceive self-pleasure, masturbation and sex toys.

When it comes to sex toys, women rule the market. Nearly 20% of all sex toys sold are vibrators, followed by dildos. And, while men can use either of these products and do often buy them, statistics also show that a much larger percentage of women are sex toy users than men.

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Female sexual empowerment has advanced to the point where women can be loud and proud enough about it to waltz into Walgreens and throw a vibrator into their basket along with their regular toothpaste and toilet paper. And many of them do. You won’t find many male sex toys on mainstream store shelves, though, and the men who buy them are more likely to be viewed as desperate, lonely losers.

What gives? Taboo and shame, ya’ll. That’s what gives. While women are beginning to bust out of sexual stereotypes to explore their sexuality on their own terms, pervasive beliefs about masculinity and male sexuality haven’t moved as much – and they still affect the way men perceive self-pleasure, masturbation and the products that go along with that. Not cool.

So, being the die-hard sexual shame busters we are, we’ve come up with six solid reasons why men should consider adding at least one sex toy to their collection.

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Guys, It’s Not Just About You

One of the perceptions around male pleasure that tends to impact men's purchase of sex toys is the idea that men don’t “need” them. And, yes, broadly speaking, men do tend to reach orgasm faster and have an easier time achieving it than their female counterparts. If you’re a guy and you’re nodding your head right now, here’s the thing: it isn’t just about you. For example, one of the top-selling male pleasure products is a cock ring. This is a toy that can enhance an erection and provide additional sensation, but if you use it with a female partner, it can help her achieve orgasm during intercourse too. So, before you blow off sex toys entirely, consider the many ways they can be used to enhance pleasure - for everyone!

LELO TOR 2 Cock Ring for Men
A cock ring like LELO's powerful TOR 2 are fun for both partners.Sex Toys Open New Experiences in a Private Setting

Think you might like anal play? Wanna see what that vibrator you’ve been using on your partner feels like? Sex toys are a great way to experiment in a private setting. This will help you better understand what you like, and explore new avenues of pleasure. Exploring is a big deal for men, who often learn to focus on penis-centric pleasure, thus overlooking all the other pleasurable parts of their bodies. Sex toys can help you learn to try new things and expand your horizons in a safe and private way.

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Read: Your Top 5 Questions About the Benefits of Prostate Massage AnsweredThey Can Make You Better in Bed

Statistics from PornHub suggest that the average user visit is less than 10 minutes long – and that includes the time spent searching for a good clip and selecting the best part of it. And, because we also know that 75% of porn watchers in the U.S. are men, we can infer that many of you are doing some very speedy masturbating. However, research shows that when this high-speed, high-stimulus routine becomes a habit, men can condition themselves to orgasm quickly, which isn’t always the best thing when you’re having sex with a partner, especially if that partner is female. Sex toys can help men appreciate their bodies with different types of stimulation and more patience – and can even help them practice holding off ejaculation and orgasm. You can even learn to remain hard after orgasm, or have multiple orgasms. If you think sex toys are for guys who aren't getting any, considering what they can do for your game may just change your mind on that.Buying a Toy for Your Pleasure Is Empowering

Remember how we talked about shame around male masturbation and pleasure? It’s real. And while that can make buying that first sex toy a difficult hurdle to overcome, overcoming that hurdle is also a form of empowerment, one that turns masturbation from a quick, shameful, solo act into an opportunity for pleasure and personal growth.

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Just Because It’s Already Good Doesn’t Mean It Couldn’t Be Better

Maybe you’re already enjoying your solo-sessions, thankyouverymuch. That’s awesome, but if you haven’t ever used a sex toy, you should know that they could be SO. MUCH. BETTER. These are tools that are carefully designed just for your pleasure. You can use the heel of your shoe to hammer in a nail, but you’d choose the hammer if you had one, right? Why? Because it’s the right tool for the job.There’s Nothing to Be Ashamed Of

Although men aren’t buying sex toys in the same proportions as women, those numbers are shifting as more high quality male sex toys hit the market – and more men decide to take the leap and try them. Male masturbation still has plenty of myths to shed, along with the bad habits those myths often spawn. Women are way ahead when it comes to taking masturbation from shameful to celebrated, but I think we can all agree that the move is a positive one. It’s high time men followed suit.

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Kinkly Staff

Sex is a bit like a secret society; everyone's doing it, it's just that no one talks about it. Kinkly's mission is to start that conversation, answer your questions and help you discover new and exciting things about sex, love and your body. We guarantee it'll be illuminating, enlightening, fun ... and a little kinky. And that's OK with us.No innuendos, no judgments and no apologies, just fearless, straight-up talk about sex.

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