Sometimes erotic literature is so bizarre or unusual that we think it has to be a joke. That's how I felt when I learned there was dinosaur erotica available for Kindle. I don't mean porn or romance novels featuring cave people during dinosaur times. I'm talking about humans and dinosaurs engaging in sex acts - with each other. Plus, because so much sex in "romance" novels involves sexual gray areas, most of the sex people are having with dinosaurs is less than consensual. Actual titles for some of these prehistoric giggity-books include Taken by T-Rex and Ravaged by the Raptor.
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Really.
You might be wondering who in the world thinks there's a calling for erotica featuring scaly and cold-blooded protagonists. It turns out that dinosaur porn is big business, and is considered by many to be the logical next step after vampire romance and werewolf sex. Two twenty-something authors, Christie Sims and Alara Branwen (not their real names), write about erotic reptiles in short stories of 15-20 pages that can be found on Amazon in eBook form. That's lucky, since you probably wouldn't want to be seen reading a book with Mounted by the Gryphon emblazoned across the cover. Sims and Branwen don't stop at prehistoric beasts though. They also write erotica featuring dragons, centaurs, orcs, and even one about a Pegasus. (I hear that Pegasus is hung like a horse!)
This shouldn't need saying, but in case it does, dino porn is way explicit and intended for adults. That doesn't mean it won't bring out your juvenile side though. "Rise of the Dinosaur's …Erection" could be a classic, or maybe something about a forked-tongue and a Ferngully. After all, Ferngully already sounds borderline pornographic.
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Being the jovial type, when I heard there was dinosaur porn, all I could think of were the hilarious potential titles. "Land of the Lost … Condom" sounds like a bestseller to me. Or maybe "The G-Spot that Time Forgot." That's more like a thrilling dino-mystery. We might not all have a hankering to read "Dino-Cock," "1 Million Years BJ," or "King Dong," but it's sort of nice to know that they're out there … just in case.
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Wednesday Lee Friday
Wednesday Lee Friday is an eclectic writer of fact and fiction. She has worked as a reptile wrangler, phone sex operator, radio personality, concierge, editor, fast food manager, horror novelist, and she owns a soap shop. She prefers jobs that let her sleep during the day. Everybody knows all the best art and literature happen at night! Wednesday's work has appeared in Women's Health Interactive, Alternet, Screen Rant, The Roots of Loneliness Project and Authority Magazine. Wednesday Lee Friday was born November 24th, 1970 in Royal Oak, Michigan. It was a Tuesday. After deciding against being a ballerina, an ichthyologist, and a famous singer, she decided to become a novelist just before starting kindergarten. Wednesday went to college in Olivet, Michigan, where she majored in theater and broadcasting for some reason. Wednesday Lee Friday is a four-time published novelist, podcaster, horror fan, soap artisan, and former phonesex gal. Wednesday eats true crime for breakfast, knows enough Dothraki to buy a horse, and is a regular TV and movie reviewer for 411Mania.com. Look for her novels, anthologies, and audiobooks whereever you usually buy those things.
