I’ve Heard Anal Can Hurt. What Can I Do to Make Sure It Doesn’t?
Alicia describes the anal sphincter as “strong yet delicate.” That means that coaxing it out to play takes time. The key is to start slow. But, hey, that’s true in a lot of cases, especially when you’re experimenting with something new!
“Start gently, with a finger or beginner-sized anal product and gradually work toward increasingly larger items as your comfort and pleasure allow. The more relaxed and comfortable you are, the easier insertion will become,” Alicia says.
Oh - and don’t forget the lube! The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so it is absolutely essential to use plenty of lube and reapply it frequently to keep things comfortable.
“Take your time, it’s not a race!” Alicia says. “The key to avoiding pain is to go slow and keep things slippery.” (You can also head over to b-Vibe and check out their article on Foreplay and Anal Massage.)
I Don’t Think I’m Ready for Anal Sex… What’s a Good Way to Start With Anal Play?
That’s totally OK! If the idea piques your interest, there are lots of fun ways to experience anal pleasure.
“Start with tickling around the outside of the anus with a finger during oral sex, or try sliding a well-lubricated finger in during oral sex or intercourse,” Alicia suggests. “You might also experiment with rimming, which a lot of people enjoy.”
Or, if you decide to try a toy, start small. You can always work your way up later if you enjoy the sensation.
The b-Vibe Novice Plug makes a great first-time anal toy
Can You Really Lose Stuff up Your Butt?
Yes, people. The answer is yes. The anus connects to the rectum which connects to the large intestine - and that sucker is about five feet long. Unlike the vagina, which dead-ends at the cervix, when you put something in your butt, it can keep right on going. What that means is that you need to be very picky about what you decide to put up there (unless, of course, a trip to the emergency room is a turn-on for you).
“It’s so important to use sex toys designed for anal play - and not improvised objects,” Alicia says. “Sex toys that can be safely used in the butt should have a flared base and a big handle, loop or pull ring.”
Got it? Good.
What Should I Look for in an Anal Toy?
Alicia says there are three key things to keep in mind when it comes to choosing a toy for anal play:
- Size: Always buy the right size of toy for you. Start small and work you way up to larger sizes. Rushing into something too big can lead to scratching, tearing or damage to anal tissues. Ouch!
- Safety: Look for toys that are designed for anal play and have a flared base.
- Materials: Avoid low-grade materials that may be porous or irritate the anal canal. Always buy body-safe, latex-free and phthalate-free products.
I Really Need to Know: Will There Be Poop?
This is a big one for a lot of people. And the short answer is…maybe. Just keep in mind that any kind of sex is messy and involves bodily emissions. This is just one more kind.
“If you’re really concerned about this, some people find that self-cleaning before anal play allows them to relax and enjoy the experience,” Alicia says. “Basic anal hygiene includes a regular bowel movement followed by a thorough external cleaning with soap and water.” (Get more tips in How can I keep anal sex from getting messy?)
OK. I Feel a Little More Ready. So… What’s the Best Way to Enjoy Anal Sex?
“Anal play is best when it’s pre-planned, participants are empowered with education, and there is plenty of time to relax and just enjoy the experience.”