Your Top 10 Questions About Anal Play - Answered!

But that leaves 65% of women and 62% of men who haven't!

People's reasons for choosing to (or not choosing to!) explore the world of anal sex are their own, but if you're curious about it, I think you should be able to get the information you need to figure out if it's for you.

So let's break down some of the top questions about anal play out there to satisfy your curiosities. Because who doesn't like more knowledge about sex?

What does anal play include?

As a general term, anal play includes:

• Touching the anus with fingers and no penetration
• Touching the anus with fingers, including penetration
• Licking the anus with the tongue
• Wearing a butt plug
• Sliding a dildo into the butt
• Holding a sex toy against the entrance without penetration
• Slipping a prostate massager into the butt while doing other foreplay activities
• Pegging
• A focus on actively milking the prostate
• Anal intercourse with a biological penis
• Anal intercourse with a penis extender
• Anal training sessions with gradually larger toys

What is anal sex?

While the term "anal sex" specifically refers to anal intercourse, some people may use it interchangeably with any type of anal play. Some people may also use it to refer to any type of anal penetration including fingers or toys.

What does it feel like to put something up your butt?

In general, people say receiving anal penetration can feel like an intense amount of pressure with a deep feeling of fullness that's impossible to replicate on any other spot on the body.

For the penetrating partner, people say anal sex feels like an extra tight orifice that leads into a different "texture" inside. A lot of people really focus on the snug entrance of anus; this can feel very different for people who are accustomed to vaginal sex.

One Reddit user explains it like: "If you aren’t prepared it’s uncomfortable and can feel like a stinging feeling. When you begin to relax it’ll be more of like you want to poop. But when you are relaxed and prepared, it feels like an uncontrollable pleasure. I can’t shut up during it it’s that good. And then you’ll basically feel it later in a good way. Kind of like your prostate is reminding you of that great feeling throughout the day."

Some people also describe it like one of the most satisfying poops you've ever taken in your life - only the sensation goes on and on. Like I said, everyone has their own way to describe the same experience!

If you're simply playing outside the hole, with no penetration, you can expect a slippery finger around the entrance feel like petting an ultra-sensitive spot that can leave your hairs standing on end in the best of ways. Even for people who don't enjoy anal penetration, touching the entrance can still feel amazing!

Is anal sex safe?

Like all things in sex and life, there's no 100% safe thing out there. During vaginal sex, someone can overexert themselves and have a heart attack - or you can accidentally break the penis. (Yes, that's real). There are sexually transmitted infections, and most vagina-owners know the unfortunate reality of UTIs after intercourse.

Some of those same risks transfer over to anal sex. As always, there are things we can do to mitigate some of those risks, but they're risks all the same.

Anal sex risks and risk mitigations include:

• Anal tears. Rough anal sex, minimal warm-up, and lack of lube can cause small anal tears. This can lead to infections of the tissue. While this can also happen during vaginal intercourse, there's a lot more bacteria in the bum, so it's more likely to lead to infection from anal play. Playing gently, ensuring your body is slowly stretched out to the size you need, and using lots of lube can reduce this. These tears can also lead to a higher transmission of STIs.
• Sexually transmitted infections. Unprotected anal sex can still spread STIs including chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, herpes, HIV, HPV, and syphilis. Use safer sex barriers and STI testing to reduce that risk.
• Irritating existing hemorrhoids. Just like pooping and sitting can irritate hemorrhoids, sliding something in and out can too. Seek treatment for your hemorrhoids and make an educated choice as to whether anal sex is comfortable for you right now.
• Transmission of anal and fecal bacteria. Stuff in the butt can include intestinal parasites, bacteria, and hepatitis, so it's important that you clean up before anal sex and reduce spread after sex. Using condoms that are instantly thrown away and heading straight into the shower can reduce bacteria spread to your bedspreads or pillows. Any lube that has been used in the body for anal sex should also be treated like it may have bacteria in it. Ass to mouth is a risky activity, and you should treat it as such if it's of interest.
• Vaginal infections. While this is rare, anal bacteria and lube can "drip" from your anal playspace into the vagina. This is the same risk vulva-owners have every time they wipe after defecating. Try to avoid dripping lube, always clean up before switching to vaginal sex, and choose sex positions that help gravity pull lube away from the vaginal entrance.

Can you really lose stuff up your butt?

Your anal entrance connects to the rectum, which further connects to the large intestine. The whole network is about five feet long, and your small 4" butt plug doesn't stand a chance against that. Once that toy is inside the body, it could continue to work its way up the rectum and intestine well beyond what you could get out with your hands - even if you were into fisting.

That's why it's so important that any anal sex toys you use have a flared base. This wide base "anchors" the sex toy outside of the butt, ensuring the toy can easily be gripped and removed when you're ready. This prevents you from going on a fishing expedition ... up your bum.

Losing a plug up the butt can be an evening's worth of frustration - and often an embarrassing ER visit - so only slide things up the butt that can easily be gripped and removed. We promise, basic body-safe, anal-specific toys have gotten very affordable over the last decade - it's just not worth playing with things that aren't made for your butt. (The Blush Temptasia Bling plug is less than $15, and the Blush Naughty Candy Hearts and Blush Be Me 3 Anal Beads are less than $20. Compared to the cost of an ER visit, it's practically a steal!)

Does anal sex stretch your butthole?

However, lots of anal sex and anal stretching can strengthen the muscles of your anal entrance "ring" itself, leading to a slightly different appearance. We're talking about years and years of regular, stretching anal sex, though - not just the occasional dalliance into the world of anal penetration.

Does anal sex hurt?

The unfortunate reality is that a lot of people go into anal sex assuming it's going to function the same as vaginal sex.

And honestly, if you think back, a lot of people report that their first vaginal sex experiences hurt too!

But anal sex is different than vaginal sex in a lot of ways. For one, the butt doesn't offer any lubrication, so you have to bring your own. (And if you don't, ouch!)

For another, anal penetration is a brand new experience for most people. This means the hole is, literally, not stretched out enough to fit something that's 1.5" in firm diameter.

That all being said, anal sex can be uncomfortable when you're brand new to it - even if it isn't painful.

If you've lived your entire life with the butt as an exit-only zone, your body has only experienced the sensations of things leaving it. So when you do a whole switcharoo and start to put things in it, you're dealing with a whole new host of sensations that are entirely unfamiliar to the nerve endings that are really, really sensitive back there.