Working on the sex shop floor, it didn't take me long to learn that any statement that started with the word "should" (unless I was explaining to a customer why they should use a water-based lubricant with a silicone toy) was never going to go in a pleasant direction.
I heard male customers say their girlfriends should try anal sex. I heard women say they thought men shouldn't use sex toys (while purchasing a very fancy vibrator for themselves.) The gender-based hypocraces were abundant, and I can't be grateful enough for the fact that whatever sorry excuse for sex education they received never crossed my path.
I think back to several years ago, when someone decided that Ronda Rousey needed to write a sex column, and she preached to the public that using lubrication during sex was 'lazy', adding to the massive piles of insecurity attached to the idea of lube.
Since my early teens (before I was sexually active but totally reading dirty stories on the internet), it was my understanding that lube was just another part of sex. (Read 8 Tips for Choosing the Slipperiest, Sexiest, Most Satisfying Lube for You.)
I got my first packet of lube at my first pride festival when I was 14 and couldn't wait to figure out how it felt (It was ID Glide, of course, so I was incredibly underwhelmed). It wasn't until my early adulthood when I became aware of the stigma that straight people inflicted on women for using lubricant.
The reality set in on the sales floor one day when we were giving out free lube samples to all of our customers. I went to hand one to a customer that I was checking out, her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. "It's free," I reassured her.
Her head-shaking intensified. I was confounded by her reaction, but I simply shrugged and tossed the tiny bottle back into the box from whence it came, not in the mood to fight about it.
Our society wants sex to be simple. But that's not the way it is. Sex is complicated and challenging and broad and beautiful. We are doing nobody any favors by insisting that every person of a specific size/shape/gender/age/etc. get off in the exact same way.
The only way to truly be a stellar partner in the sack is to appreciate and understand the unique individual that lays before you. It is never acceptable to tell your partners what they should want or do. Plain and simple.