You know the feeling. It’s so overwhelming and delicious that all of your worries melt away for a few seconds (or minutes). Everything is bliss. Yes, we’re talking about orgasm, arguably the most wonderful thing in all the world.
What is in an orgasm? What does this delightful experience entail? Orgasm is defined as the involuntary release of tension at the height of the sexual response cycle. For most people, they lose all control and simply go over the edge to climax. As you have no control over your body or mind during orgasm, you may make some noises that you would not otherwise make.
These sounds truly run the gamut: From screaming, moaning, laughing to crying.
You may love the sounds you make or maybe they embarrass you. Moushumi Ghose, MFT, a licensed sex therapist, says that we have to embrace our orgasm noises, whatever they might be. “Giving ourselves permission to experience pleasure as our birth given right can be key to embracing sounds and moans of joy and excitement during sexual play as well,” she says.
Everyone is different and orgasms are as unique as snowflakes. Whatever sounds you make (or don’t make), love yourself. Sex can’t be its most spectacular if we’re busy worrying about whether our screams are too high pitched or our moans are off-putting.
Here is some insight into your sounds of pleasure.
Psychosexual therapist, Cate Mckenzie says that screaming can potentially mean you’re having a very deep, intense orgasm. Sometimes you scream because you’re releasing so much intense emotion stored inside you. It’s a wonderful way to express your pleasure.
“Noises are great. [They are] liberating and freeing,” Mckenzie says.
“YES, YES I’M COMING!” We see this a lot in movies and it reflects real life. People are talkers. It’s normal. “Dirty talk and affirming phrases may be more intentional to enhance our erotic experience. Sounds can let your partner know what feels good and encourage them to keep up the same tempo or motion,” says Lorrae Bradbury, a dating coach and founder of Slutty Girl Problems.
Some people like to talk through what they’re experiencing and verbalize it as a play-by-play. Others may use words like “F*ck,” “HELL YES” or “I’m coming!” to denote their orgasm. If you’re using words at the moment of climax, you’re simply expressing yourself with more than guttural moans and that is just fine.
Crying upon orgasm may seem, um, awkward. You may be embarrassed if you suddenly burst into tears when you’re not sad, you’re just feeling amazing.
Listen, you’re not alone. Crying is cathartic. “Crying is a completely natural release of emotion. Often, sex can be an intensely emotional experience that puts us in touch with the deep vulnerability and intimacy of being so connected to another person,” Bradbury says.
The same thing happens when we orgasm. We give into our emotions and let them flood over us. If you really think about it, it makes sense that crying would sometimes come along with orgasm.
Moaning is our body's natural response to pleasure. It’s a primal urge and no-frills expression that something feels CRAZY GOOD. Have you ever had a really good massage and felt so amazing that you suddenly moaned? We’ve all been there.
Moaning is likely the most common sound we make when we’re orgasming. It is the release of emotion, the giving in to the pleasure we’re experiencing. Each person’s moans are unique to them and no matter how you sound, you’re normal.
Enjoy yourself! Let your partner feed off of your erotic energy. Moaning lets them know they’re doing a good job.
One toy that'll have you moaning in minutes flat? LELO's SONA Cruise. Read the review here.
Do you laugh when you’re coming? Don’t worry! It’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean your partner is doing anything particularly silly or strange. You’re not really laughing because it’s just so damn wonderful! “Laughing denotes freedom and joy,” says Mckenzie.
You’re like a kid swinging freely on a swing. You’re laughing because you feel safe and wonderful. It’s totally fine to laugh when you orgasm. It’s a release.
No Sound at All
“This is particularly common among people who have a long history of needing to keep their orgasms quiet, so as not to attract the attention of parents or housemates. With enough time, it can become a habit,” says Sarah Martin, MA, a certified sex coach.
If you make no noise when you’re orgasming, it’s likely because you have some roots in the “shame” area of sex. Many of us were brought up without great sex education or with religious beliefs that made sex a “bad thing.”
That being said, there is nothing wrong with this as long as you’re experiencing pleasure. As we’ve said, all orgasms are different and what is truly important is that you’re having fun and enjoying your sex life. “For some people, a big exhale is as noisy as it gets, and that's ok!” Martin says.
If you're quiet, maybe a quiet vibrator is a must for you too. Check out the LELO Soraya, which emits a quiet hum even at high speeds.
If you don’t make noise, but want to … simply practice! Grab yourself a toy and try something simple like a moan or scream when you’re getting close to climax. It may even intensify the whole experience!
Want to see how well you know all the sexy sex sounds? Try out LELO's Orgasm or Not Quiz and be entered for the chance to win a LELO toy or a 20% discount code!