Sexual health

What Sexual Personality Type Are You?

Published: NOVEMBER 11, 2019 | Updated: FEBRUARY 15, 2022
If more than one seem to fit you, don’t sweat it — there’s room for multiple toys in your drawer, after all.

Sex advice can sometimes be generic, but who we are in the bedroom is extremely individual. There are as many sexual personalities as there are people — but according to sex therapist Vanessa Marin, people can actually be grouped into 11 sexual personality types.


It can be useful to know what type you are so that you know the best ways to improve your sex life, including the ideal toys to buy. Here are the 11 types and a product that fits each one.

The Decompresser: Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

The decompresser likes to use sex for one of its most effective purposes: stress relief. If you’re a decompresser, you may engage in sex or masturbation to help yourself get to sleep or clear your mind before work.

Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation vibrator


Orgasms are probably important to you, since they can bring about a lot of that stress reduction. That’s why the Satisfyer is a great option for you — its clitoris-suction technology delivers orgasms efficiently and in large quantities.

The Explorer: Enby

For the explorer, sex is all about playing, learning, and experimenting. You like going out of your comfort zone and aren’t afraid to laugh at your failed bedroom experiments.

Enby Flexible Rechargeable Vibrator


Enby is the perfect toy for you if you’re an explorer because there are endless ways to use it, from rubbing against it to tucking it into a harness,. You can also use it on a partner of any gender.

The Fair-Trader: Satisfyer Partner Multifun 2

If you’re a fair trader, equality is very important to you. You want both you and your partner to receive just as much as you give.

Satisfyer Partner Multifun 2 vibrator


The Partner Multifun 2 is ideal for that because, when you wear it during sex, you can both feel it at the same time. In addition, if you don’t orgasm through penetration alone, it will help give you the clitoral stimulation you need.

The Giver: Rianne S Heart Vibe

As the name would suggest, givers take joy in providing their partners with pleasure. Their partners appreciate their generosity, but givers may sometimes struggle to receive themselves.

Rianne S Heart Vibe vibrator


The Rianne S Heart Vibe will help make it a two-way street. Its versatile heart shape and waterproof capabilities can inspire couples to find the best creative uses for each person.

The Guardian: Pave Liz Finger Massager

This kind of person needs to feel completely safe and comfortable in order to have satisfying sexual experiences. The addition of a toy might even feel overwhelming for them.

Pave Liz Finger Massager vibrator


However, this small vibrator, which goes right around your or your partner’s finger, will help provide you with extra pleasure while still maintaining a feeling of comfort and connection with each other.

The Passion-Pursuer: Black Jeweled Nipple Clips

If you love the kind of sex that makes time stand still, that makes you grab at each other and do it like animals, you may be a passion-pursuer.

Black Jeweled Nipple Clips

Experimenting with pain (with clear boundaries and communication, of course) can help bring out the raw passion in you both. These Black Jeweled Nipple Clips are a great way to bring a some kink into your passion play.

The Pleasure-Seeker: jimmyjane Love Pods Halo

Some people simply have sex for pleasure. Pleasure-seekers usually like a lot of physical touch beyond sex and often don’t need an emotional attachment to enjoy sex.

jimmyjane Love Pods Halo sex toy

If this is you, Love Pods will appeal to your sensual side by stimulating all parts of your body, from the genitals to the nipples and everywhere in between.

The Prioritizer: We-Vibe Sync

For prioritizers, sex is an important part of a relationship. You view it as an important way to connect with your partner and value routines, perhaps even scheduling sex.

We-Vibe Sync vibrator

The We-Vibe Sync can be controlled using the We-Connect app from anywhere in the world, so you and your partner can fit in sexy time even when you’re apart. You can even set it to Beat mode and vibe along to the musical track of your choice!

The Romantic: Shunga Mini Soy Massage & Body Candle

If you like to make eye contact and say “I love you” during sex, you’re a romantic. You love using sex to foster connection and feel closer to your partner.

Shunga Mini Soy Massage & Body Candle

Try bringing a massage and body candle into your play. Massing your partner will help you slow down and worship each other's bodies on a deep, intimate level.

The Spiritualist: Crystal Premium Glass Wand

This personality type is into exploring tantra and other practices that connect sex to a higher purpose, or they may simply view sex itself as a transcendental experience.

Crystal Premium Glass Wand dildo

This simple glass wand is a great toys help you experiment and relax. Glass wands are also great for temperature play, so you can heat them up or cool them down in order to achieve that higher state of consciousness.

The Thrill-Seeker: Bijoux Indiscrets 12 Sexy Days

Thrill-seekers are attracted to sexual taboos and may be into BDSM and other kinks. This Sexy Days kit will provide a friendly introduction to BDSM, with a blindfold and whip as well as lighter options like a tickler and diamond vibrator.

Bijoux Indiscrets 12 Sexy Days BDSM Kit

This kit will help build up the thrill as you reveal a different product each day, allowing your imagination and desire to build up to what day 12 will hold.

No matter which personality type or types you identify with the important thing to remember is that how you express yourself sexually is entirely up to you. You may find that sometimes you're a Romantic and sometimes you're a Thrill-Seeker.

If more than one seem to fit you, don’t sweat it — there’s room for multiple toys in your drawer, after all.

Suzannah Weiss

Suzannah Weiss is a feminist writer, certified sex educator, and sex/love coach. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and more.

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