Welcome to 'Locktober,' the No-Orgasm Month for Dedicated Kinksters
People who are into this kink take October as an "excuse" to challenge themselves, trying to make it through the entire month of October without a single orgasm.
Their methodology may vary. For people who love chastity cages, this may mean wearing the chastity cage until the first day of November. For people who love edging, this might mean daily edging sessions - without a single orgasm - until November rolls around. For kinksters who love tease and denial, this can turn into a month full of foreplay and flirting without a bit of release.
How to Enjoy Locktober
Are you new to the idea of "avoiding orgasm" as a form of play? Don't worry; everyone starts there!
If it has some appeal to you, we recommend starting with some of the helpful articles on THE CAGE to get a good idea of what you'd like to try - and how to do it safely!
- BDSM 101: Tease & Denial
- From Chastity Device Beginner to 24/7 Chastity Slave
- BDSM 101: Genital Pain Play
If it appeals to you, feel free to join in "Locktober!" There are no official rules or regulations; Locktober is all about effort - and having a good time.
(Psst! In case you haven't heard of it, THE CAGE is a kink-friendly community where you can learn about BDSM, interact with other kinksters online, and stay on top of local kink and BDSM events in your area. Whether you join the forums, read blogs, peruse kinky personal ads or join live chats, it's a welcoming space for anyone interested in BDSM dating, or just joining the BDSM community.)
Don't worry if an entire month is too much for you. A lot of people start Locktober with good intentions ... and then end up having an orgasm half-way through the month. As long as you're having a good time, you're doing it right. It's all about the fun of sexual anticipation, after all. There are very few ways to do it "wrong".
Let Others Know You're Enjoying Locktober
Part of the fun of Locktober is the community aspect. After all, if you were simply denying yourself an orgasm as a challenge, you could easily choose April or any other month.
Instead, you get to enjoy "Locktober," where a whole community of people is there to tease and support one another as they try to make it through the entire month. It's a little mini holiday to itself!
During Locktober, and throughout the year, you can find that same support with THE CAGE's "Locked" feature. The "Lock" widget on your profile is a fun, optional toggle that will display how long you've been "locked up" in addition to displaying the date you were locked up. While traditionally used to showcase how long you've been locked into a physical device, it can be used any way you like. You can showcase how long you've been orgasm-free if you'd like!
If that sounds like a fun addition to your Locktober play, simply open up your THE CAGE profile, and toggle on the function, adding in your original lock date. It will display on your profile, letting everyone know how long you've been locked up. This can be especially fun if you participate in chastity and orgasm denial communities; fellow kinksters will be looking for that information on your profile! You can also view other kinksters looking to meet and connect with others around Locktober.
If that doesn't sound like fun for you, the "Locked" function is hidden from your profile when it isn't turned on, so you don't have to worry about it!
Fun Ways to Enjoy Locktober
Want to experience the festive Locktober spirit?
The simplest way to "play" is to simply not orgasm. That's it. You don't need a chastity device or any fancy, special equipment. If you simply abstain from orgasm, you'll be joining in on the "spirit" of what Locktober is about.
That said, it also helps if you find a community also participating in Locktober! Talking about it, cheering each other on, and teasing each other is also part of the Locktober spirit. (Luckily, THE CAGE has a community right there for you!)
Solo Locktober Challenges
Exploring the fun of orgasm denial by yourself? If so, these Locktober ideas can be a great fit:
- Set mini goals throughout October to encourage yourself to stay chaste. Reward yourself with video game time, treats, or other things you enjoy for each week that you stay orgasm-free throughout October.
- Challenge yourself to explore new erogenous zones. This might look like trying new dildos, trying hands-free prostate massagers, and exploring nipple play. Remember, no orgasms allowed! 😉
- Use that pent-up erotic energy to get stuff done. If you're looking for a partner, craft a quality Personals ad and post it on the dedicated Locktober Personals section on THE CAGE.
- Try self-reflection. Have you ever thought about how orgasm denial really makes you feel? Locktober can be a great excuse to find out. Set up a journaling system and rating system for each day. How horny do you feel each day? How subservient? How annoyed? At the end of the month, you can compile your data to learn more about yourself; maybe you find that week two is your "ideal" chastity range with peak horniness and rock-bottom aggravation about it.
- Each day during October, roll a die. That day, you must "edge" yourself that many times before going back into denial. If you're the nerdy type, you can make this harder by using a D20.
- Use the Lock function on THE CAGE to let others know how long you've been locked up.
- Make a kinky friend! While being orgasm-free can be a reward on its own, part of the "fun" of Locktober is the community aspect. Try to get involved in the online community and see if you can find a friend for conversations and support beyond the month!
- Challenge yourself to go beyond Locktober - and into #NoNutNovember for two full months of denial!
Locktober Ideas for Couples
Are you playing with someone this Locktober season? These ideas might be fun!
- Discuss where a chastity key will be throughout Locktober. Having the "keyholder" wear it throughout the month can be a fun tease - or it may become a challenge for the chaste person to "find" where the keyholder is wearing it every day. If you're not using a chastity device, choosing a symbolic key or token can be a great way to add some of the vibe.
- Peruse your favorite kink photography sites to find cute couples' photos that feature one partner in orgasm denial. Recreate those photos for yourself. If if you're feeling it, add your Locktober photos to your profile on THE CAGE to show off!
- Set a "To-Do" list for the denied person. In addition to Locktober, your locked partner won't be granted an orgasm until the to-do list is fully completed. Luckily, they have a month of that pent-up erotic energy to give them extra motivation! This can be as sexual or non-sexual as you'd like; they might be required to study for an exam, clean out the garage, or take a new dildo down to the base. It's up to you both!
- Set a "reward" that the denied person will earn if they make it all the way to the end of Locktober. If you're both sexually involved, this might be fulfillment of a fantasy or favorite kink. If you aren't sexually involved, this might be a dinner out at their favorite restaurant.
- On the last day of October, the "keyholding" partner will quiz the chaste partner. (You can use questions about yourself, questions about a college course they're taking, or anything else!) For every question the chaste person gets wrong, they add additional days of denial to the end of Locktober!
Don't forget: you don't have to "couple up" with a romantic or sexual partner. You and a close, kinky friend can act as one another's partners for Locktober. Since the "goal" of Locktober is to avoid orgasm, you can keep any sexual play off the table and use it as an excuse to check in on each other and have someone to bounce ideas off of!
Now that you know all about Locktober, what do you think? Are you going to give it a try?
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.