Anal sex

Wearing a Butt Plug in Public: Top Tips on How to Do It

Published: AUGUST 17, 2023
Wearing a butt plug for public play is all about preparation - and choosing the right plug.

You're hitting up the anal toys section of your local sex shop (whether brick and mortar or online!) when you see them: butt plugs. Instead of the standard anal dildos or prostate massagers, these beauties promise to stay inside the butt without the use of your hands.


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Is it any surprise that most people's first thought is about how they can use them in public?

Let's talk about how to prep to use a butt plug, how to use one in public, cool places to wear a butt plug in public, and what you should be looking for when you want to buy a butt plug specifically for public play use.

Can you wear a butt plug in public?

Yes. Yes, you can.


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Wearing any sex toy in public can be ultra-hot! Not only is it a private "secret" that you only know about, but it also offers delicious stimulation that would feel fantastic no matter where you were!

Wearing a butt plug in public lets you up the eroticism on virtually any activity. Date night instantly becomes foreplay. Filling up the gas tank feels like a secret thrill. When the vibrations pop on while you're comparing cucumbers at the grocery store, you can feel completely under your play partner's control.

For couples who are open to the risk of public sex, wearing a butt plug can simply be one step of their out-of-house foreplay. For couples who aren't comfortable with the risk of public sex, wearing a discreet butt plug can be a way to safely "sample" the eroticism of outdoor play with minimal risk.


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Because public butt plug wearing can be so erotic, it can be tempting to simply pick up the latest plug and open the packaging in the "privacy" of your favorite restaurant's bathroom. But things can definitely go wrong with that approach.

My partner and I wanted to enjoy some public butt play fun at one of our favorite restaurants at the local mall. We had purchased a butt plug just for this special occasion, and we'd been talking about it all week.

Everything seemed to be going great. He slid in the brand new butt plug before we left, and the car ride went just fine. We parked in the parking garage, and we began the brisk walk across the complex that the restaurant required.


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Turns out, that butt plug we'd purchased wasn't as great at staying in the body as the marketing copy promised. He felt it sliding out, but we shrugged it off and figured he'd readjust in the bathroom when we made it to our destination.

Unfortunately, the butt plug had other ideas. In the middle of daylight, on the sidewalk in front of a random gift store, the butt plug slid out entirely and plopped into his undies.

Unfortunately, the butt plug had other ideas.


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Well, crap.

If that had been the end of it, it wouldn't have been much of an issue. Unfortunately for us, he was wearing some attractive lingerie to set the mood for that's day's adventure. It looked hot as heck when he was undressed, but it was never designed to support the entire weight of a butt plug.

And that's exactly how he managed to be standing on the sidewalk at an outdoor mall with a butt plug laying at his feet.


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Thank god it wasn't a vibrating option. Watching it hop around on the curb would have been, well, too much.

We've had other mishaps too. Like the time the remote-control battery died on our vibrating plug. My partner had to go into a quiet, but busy, bathroom to remove the plug while it was still making a very telltale sound. Or the time the power went out at a restaurant, turning off all of the background music and leaving only the odd sound of a thrumming vibrator for everyone to hear.

All of this is to say: wearing a butt plug in public can be a fantastic time, but it requires a bit of prep to ensure your experience is erotic instead of embarrassing.

All of this is to say: wearing a butt plug in public can be a fantastic time, but it requires a bit of prep to ensure your experience is erotic instead of embarrassing.

Never fear. I've got everything you need to enjoy this sexy outing successfully and without embarrassment.

Preparing to Wear a Butt Plug in Public: Some Important Tips

Prepping for your butt plug experience at home - before ever heading out among the masses - can ensure a good time.

As an added bonus, the prep is also really fun!

Here's what you need to do:

1. Get a Butt Plug That Stays in Your Butt


Not all sex toys are created equal.

Even though a toy may call itself a "butt plug," that doesn't mean that it's going to stay in there once you slide it in. Anatomical factors - and your own anal experience - can also change the equation. If you regularly play with 2.5" wide dildos, a butt plug with a 0.75" diameter isn't going to be particularly secure, even if that same butt plug would be the perfect fit for someone else.

You're going to want to ensure you have a butt plug design that's crafted to stay within the body.

You're going to want to ensure you have a butt plug design that's crafted to stay within the body.

When shopping for a new butt plug, I want you to think about your anal entrance as a hole that needs to be plugged. Not in any sexual, kinky-talk way, but in a practical way. Remember your anal entrance is a ring of muscle that can contract and expand, and anything that helps that ring of muscle stay at rest while simultaneously "trapping" something inside the body is a good shape.

What shape would best comfortably rest inside? What shape would keep things from coming through the hole?

A great example of this is the Je Joue Onyx.

First, notice how the plug has a small retention area that connects to the base. This is the part that will sit, comfortably, at your entrance.

Next, notice how the plug's shaft is much thicker than the retention area. And, while there's still a slope for easy insertion, the slopes aren't gentle, curving waves. They look more like hard angles. These hard angles, partnered with the small retention area, can help the butt plug stay anchored in the butt. After all, if the butt plug wanted to try to slide out, your body would need to "accidentally" let a 1.25 inch item slide out.

Plugs with uniform shaft circumference and soft, gentle curves are going to be much more likely to slide through that hole. Slimmer toys will also be more likely to slide out (I know, that's a Catch-22 for people new to anal!). There just isn't as much to "hold" them there.

Read: 5 Ways to Use Butt Plugs to Take Your Sex Life to the Next Level

2. Make SURE That Butt Plug Stays Put

You've made an educated decision when buying a butt plug.

Now it's time to figure out what reality is.

Slide your new butt plug into your butt, then walk around your home. Take some stairs. Sit down. Stand back up. Do more walking.

Do NOT touch the plug; if you're wearing a butt plug in public, you don't get to adjust the butt plug every few steps. It can be tempting to cheat in the privacy of your own home, but we're looking for real-world data we can use for heading outside. Cheating is just cheating yourself.

How well does the butt plug stay in the butt? Does it seem to be relatively stable? Are you worried about it sliding out? If you felt it sliding out once, was there a way to help push it back into the body that was discreet?

You can increase the difficulty of this "challenge" by doing it nude. You can really test the staying power of your butt plug when there's no fabric or clothing to help keep the plug within the body. When you add clothing later on, it'll just add extra security!

Not only is this a test of your butt plug, but it's also a test for you. You probably don't have much experience wearing this particular butt plug (or maybe any butt plug!) out in public, and you'll want to learn what it feels like. Most people don't spend a ton of time walking around while wearing a plug; are you finding that it's something you enjoy at some moments better than others?

Getting your body used to "normal" plug sensations can help you better detect when something is "off" when you're in public.

3. Test Out the Pleasure

It's one thing to ensure your butt plug stays in the butt, but it's a whole other adventure to ensure it feels good when it's there. After all, that's the whole point, right?

Once you have your new plug, wear it around the house to see how it feels. Does it feel best sitting? Standing? Does it actually get painful if you're leaning forward, or does that get the plug into the perfect spot?

Vibrations can matter too! For a lot of people, rumbly, deep vibrations pleasure internal erogenous zones better than buzzy, light vibrations. Getting a plug that offers those deep vibrations isn't always easy, though.

Until now. Je Joue recently released their new line of butt plugs, and they're equipped with that same, deep, rumbly motor that Je Joue is famous for. These powerful vibrations offer more pleasure for you internal spots and entrance when wearing them.

Je Joue Onyx anal plug vibrating in waterThe new line of Je Joue anal plugs provides deep, rumbly vibrations. Pictured, the Onyx.

Simply turn on the plug and pop on the vibrations to instantly experience those low-frequency vibrations for yourself.

That brings me to my next challenge: make sure to test the "orgasm point" of your vibrator too. Can it make you orgasm, hands-free? If so, what are the impending "signs" that it's about to happen? This can let you control if you're comfortable having an orgasm in the middle of a public space.

If your toy has incremental adjustment, like the new Je Joue plugs do, you may be able to "ward off" an orgasm by simply decreasing the intensity or swapping to a pattern. The Je Joue plugs offer five incremental vibration speeds and seven vibration patterns, so you have choices available!

4. Sit on Everything You Own

Public spaces are fraught with unpredictable, unexpected seating options, especially if you're going to any sort of restaurant or bar. In some cases, they're busy enough that you won't be able to try sitting on three different couches to see what you like the best.

That's why we're going to get it out of the way at home.

Sit on every seated surface you have at home. Try the couch, the reclining chair, bar stools, hardwood kitchen chairs, outdoor wicker chairs, and more. Really, sit on every chair you own.

Pay attention to how each surface feels. A toy with a large, thick base might be uncomfortable on a hardwood chair, but you might not even notice it on a plushy surface. On the other hand, with slimmer bases, you might find that hardwood plugs shove the plug very pleasurably into the body while plushy surfaces don't provide that orgasmic sensation.

If your toy is awesome enough to have rumbly, powerful vibrations like the new Je Joue plugs, make sure to pay special attention to the vibration functions. Does a hardwood chair accidentally press the vibration control button on the base? Do the vibrations really, really transfer through the fabric of a soft seat, making them sound louder?

While nothing can 100% prepare you for the exact seating in public, this can give you a good idea of what to find or request when you show up.

5. Experiment with Lube Amounts

Every plug requires a different level of lube. Material choices, plug shape and wear time can also change up how much lube you want to use.

I want you to find the perfect lube level for your specific plug.

It can be easy to go overboard with lube, and I'm all for it when you're at home. But when you're going to wear a butt plug in public, you don't want it sliding about with too much lube.

That's why I want you to experiment with how much lube is necessary while at home. How much lube do you need for a comfortable fit that'll last a bit until a lube reapplication?

6. Discover the Noise Levels

Especially if your anal plug vibrates, you'll need to check the noise levels before you head out in public. (If it doesn't vibrate, it still may have a functionality that makes noise!)

Wear the plug and turn it on to see how loud it is. The body can muffle some of the noise, but it probably still has an audible sound to it. How loud is it if you put on the clothing you plan on wearing?

Make sure to try sitting on different surfaces, too. Especially if your plug has a large base, movements and vibrations can become amplified on plushy surfaces for a sound that's much louder than you expected.

Once you have an idea of the baseline noise, try to turn on music or other external noises and see if it helps hide it. Figure out how loud the space around you needs to be before you can "hide" the noise of the plug. Je Joue's plugs are powerful, but quiet, rumbling at 33 to 35.5 decibels (According to the experts, that means they sit somewhere between a whisper and a quiet urban area at night.)

7. Learn How the Butt Plug Works

If you have a non-vibrating butt plug, you're pretty much good to go. Simply slide it in and enjoy!

However, vibrating options, like the deep, rumbly orgasmic vibrations of the Je Joue Egon, will have functionality you need to learn at home. With the remote control design of the Egon, you'll want to learn how to connect the remote to the butt plug as well as control the vibrations.

It's important you know how to turn the toy off too. Especially if something happens (what if the music of your restaurant suddenly turned off?), you want to ensure you can kill the vibrations within a few seconds.

If your partner isn't comfortable with an orgasm in public, this may also be important to fend off an impending climax!

I highly, highly, highly recommend discovering your sex toy's timeout feature. To save battery power and ensure you don't drain the entire toy by accident, most modern, rechargeable vibrators are equipped with a timeout functionality. After a set number of minutes without activity, the toy will turn off. This can vary from 10 minutes to an hour. (For the Egon, vibration will stop when the remote is turned off, but the toy remains active.)

Unless you're simply walking into your backyard, you probably have some travel time to get to your destination. You probably won't be running the vibrations the entire time during that transit either - especially if someone is driving or you're taking a rideshare.

This means that your "flawlessly connected" toy and its remote might be disconnected by the time you arrive. The wearing partner may need to take both the remote and the plug into the bathroom and manually connect the two of them together again to enjoy using them at the restaurant.

This can be another thing to learn about your potential toy; how do you connect the plug with its remote while the plug is still in the body?

8. Understand the Remote Control Limitations

If you're lucky enough to own one of the new rumbly, vibrating Je Joue plugs, you'll need to spend a bit of time learning the remote control range - just like any remote control toy. The new Je Joue plugs' stated remote range are 10 meters (32 feet), but we all know that's when using it at home.

There are lots of things in public spaces that can change the remote control range, and you'll want to experiment with them at home before you head out.

Does the remote control work better with thinner layers of clothing? What about denim jeans? Would going without undies help the remote's commands translate better?

Does the remote work across the kitchen while wearing clothes? What about in a different room? If you set the remote on top of a table, can it still control the vibrator that's underneath the table?

Wherever you plan to wear a butt plug in public, try to replicate that scenario at home to see what your best remote control practices will be.

Je Joue anal plug remote control in a handJe Joue's new anal plugs have a cute little remote that can control the toys from a distance of up to 10 meters (32 feet.)

How to Wear a Butt Plug in Public

You ready? Let's talk about how to take that tried-and-tested butt plug pit in public to some of your favorite spots.

1. Charge Your Toy

If you're going to spoil yourself with orgasmic vibrations while you're out, now's the time to ensure the butt plug is fully charged up or has fresh batteries.

Don't forget to do the same to any remote control, like if you're playing with the new Je Joue Vesta. The Vesta is rechargeable, which makes getting it ready to go super easy.

Je Joue anal plug charging

2. Pack a Travel Bag

The last thing you want is to be stuck in the middle of a restaurant with an uncomfortable, pinchy, lube-dried-up butt plug stuck up your butt with no way to carry it if you take it out. Are you going to wash a butt plug at a nice restaurant sink next to someone washing their hands? And then what? Put it in your pocket?

Wearing a butt plug out in public doesn't require packing a separate bag, but I highly, highly recommend it. Carrying all the "must-haves" makes it less likely to run into a emergency problem you can't solve.

I recommend your butt plug travel bag have:

  • A resealable food baggie that fits your butt plug in case you need to remove it.
  • A few packets or travel-sized bottle of lube that's compatible with your butt plug.
  • A few disposable gloves and wet wipes. This can help you remove the plug mess-free and clean up any obvious mess on it before you put it in the food baggie. Going to a public restroom sink with your hand covered in a bit of poop is probably not the vibe you were going for.
  • An opaque bag that hides all of these items within it - and can fit the butt plug inside of its food baggie if you need to remove it. (Could be a purse or backpack!)

That's it! That way, you can easily reapply lube or remove the butt plug if need be.

Being prepared can make public butt plug play way less stressful - and therefore more fun!

3. Add Enough Lube Before Heading Out

I'm normally the queen of "USE LOTS OF LUBE". But this is one instance where "lots of lube" might actually be a bad thing.

See, lots of lube makes things slippery. That's the point, right? Well, having an ultra-slippery butt plug inside your body at a time where sliding out could be embarrassing can be a problem.

That's why we spent that earlier prep time figuring out how much lube we actually needed. Apply that much lube - and not much more! - before taking your butt plug out in public. We packed our travel bag full of extra lube, so if you need a bit more on your adventure, you'll be good!

4. Find a Good Spot to Hang Out

The right "place" can really make or break your scene when you wear a butt plug in public. You want somewhere that's loud enough to hide any noises but private enough that you won't be too noticed. Preferably, you also want easy, private access to a bathroom and the type of seating you've learned you prefer!

So make an educated choice when you first arrive to your destination.

5. Be Considerate of Others

Remember: playing with a butt plug in public is about the thrill of going under the radar while others are none-the-wiser.

That requires acting the part.

You might be feeling orgasmic sensations underneath your clothing, but you'll still need to be as public-friendly as possible. I know it can be easy to want to go overboard like you've seen in adult and mainstream movies, but the goal here is to have a great time without making other people uncomfortable.

Avoid grinding into the seat underneath you, and make sure you can shut off the vibrations if you're getting to a point where you can't control yourself.

I, personally, would recommend turning off the vibrations and any sensations anytime you're interacting with other people. This can help reduce awkward facial expressions.

You might be feeling orgasmic sensations underneath your clothing, but you'll still need to be as public-friendly as possible.

6. Check In With Yourself

There are very few safety hazards with public butt plug wearing. Any potential safety concerns simply mirror the ones you'd have wearing it at home.

The biggest difference is that you're in a place with more stimuli. You might be less likely to notice that you need a bit more lube - or you might not have any lube to begin with! You might be reluctant to take out the plug because you're having such a good time.

Packing our butt-friendly travel kit (as mentioned above) can alleviate a lot of these potential concerns, but they still require you to check in with yourself and determine if you need to take any action.

Set a schedule (after every sip of water?) to check in with yourself and see how you're feeling. Wiggle a bit. Do you need more lube? Is it time for the plug to come out? What could make the experience even better for you?

7. Enjoy Yourselves!

Remember: the goal of wearing a butt plug in public is to have a fantastic time. If wearing the butt plug is stressing you out more than it's providing pleasure, just hop off to the bathroom and take it out.

Remember: the goal of wearing a butt plug in public is to have a fantastic time.

If you're playing with someone else, keep the lines of communication open. You might prefer to come up with "code words" that can easily tell the remote control holder to up the intensity (or decrease the intensity!). If you need to communicate something really raunchy, you can easily text them or whisper it in their ear.

Fun Places to Try Wearing a Butt Plug in Public

Now you know how to prep for wearing a butt plug in public - and how to have a great time when you get there. Here are a few of my favorite options for public play:

A "Bar and Grill" Restaurant

I tend to avoid straight-up bars for wearing a plug because their bathrooms can leave a lot to be desired - especially at peak hours.

But a "bar and grill"-style restaurant can give you the louder, laid-back atmosphere you'd need from a restaurant while still offering some of the bar benefits. These casual-style joints tend to have a variety of seating options and enough loud music to enjoy your vibrating plug worry-free.

Most of these restaurants offer table service, so make sure you're ready to interact with another person before you wear a butt plug in public here!

Your Local Park

There are a lot of adventures to explore at your local park. You can chill on a bench, enjoy the outdoor air, take a walk, play grass games, or simply read an erotic book in the relaxing sun.

I highly recommend paying special attention to the amount of lube you use before this adventure. Most parks require a bit of walking, and you don't want the butt plug to be slipping out with every step.

At the same time, the bathroom situation can be rough in public outdoor spaces. Have a general idea of where the bathroom is (if you need to re-lube or take out the plug) or plan to create a hidden space within your vehicle to take care of your plugging needs.

Breweries

While I'm not fond of bars for wearing a butt plug in public, breweries can offer a bit of that convivial, social vibe without the same bathroom situation.

I recommend scoping out your brewery in advance. Breweries are so unique from one another that it can be hard to plan for noise level or seating unless you've been to the brewery before. One brewery may be quiet with a coffee-shop vibe while another may only have bar stool seating with loud rock music.

Your Backyard

Nobody says that wearing a butt plug in public has to take place in a crowded auditorium!

Your backyard (or garage!) can give you all of the fun of wearing a butt plug outside of your home with a fraction of the risk.

Take your plug out with you while you're grilling, laying in the hammock reading erotica, or even doing yard work (serious respect for that one!).

Read: 3 Reasons Why We Love Outdoor Sex

The Theater

Wearing a butt plug to a movie theater can be a blast. Not only does a theater offer dark and sultry vibes, but you can do minor seating readjustments in the dark without anyone noticing.

I recommend using a bit more lube for your plug than you usually would. Once you get seated, you won't be walking around. But staying seated for long periods of time can cause the lube you did apply to absorb into the body pretty quickly.

As an additional challenge, most people will have to pee at least once during a movie, so you may want to practice peeing with a plug in - or choose a movie where you don't mind missing a bit more of the action while you take the plug out first.

If your butt plug has vibrations, turn them off for this adventure. While the loud action scenes will mask the vibrations, it can be impossible to predict when the theater is going to go completely silent to build anticipation. This is a space for silent toys only.

A Hotel Lobby

Is wearing a butt plug in public part of a trip away from home?

If so, you can do a really approachable trial at the hotel where you're staying.

Simply wear your chosen butt plug down to the hobby lobby, bar, or restaurant.

This allows you to get a feel for wearing a butt plug in an unfamiliar public space while simultaneously ensuring your hotel room (and the ability to take out or change up the plug) is only an elevator's ride away.

Read: The 6 Things in Hotel Rooms That Make Sex HOT

Your hotel's vibe will determine whether you can enjoy the vibrations on your given plug, but you can always leave the vibrations off too!

With your private hotel room only an elevator's ride away, you can easily sneak back up to the room for more explicit play - especially if wearing a butt plug in public was a turn-on for you.

Honestly, it's like having the best of both worlds. I highly recommend it!

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Mistress Kay

Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.

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