Some people think that penetrative sex is the "best" way to orgasm and attain sexual pleasure. But there are many other ways to have sex and experience orgasms...fast and slow! Of course, when you're doing it, it's nice to know you can hold out if you want to.
Wanna Last Longer in Bed? Simple, Safe Ways to Do It
Controlling ejaculations has become the goal for many penis-havers to last longer and enjoy sex. Maybe it is sexy to you to show your partner that you’re in control of their pleasure and satisfaction. Plus, the longer you wait for it, the more intense the orgasm. But unfortunately, many of us face challenges doing it – from psychological causes to physical and mental conditions.
Before getting started, take note that having more staying power is not equal to being good in bed. You don't NEED to last longer to be a great lover, but if you WANT to improve control to last longer, here are some ideas.
Change Your Masturbation Habits
Many suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) and erectile dysfunction (ED) because of lousy masturbation habits, like being overly excited or stimulated. I can’t blame you for wanting to finish quickly – I blame it on outdated social conditioning. When privacy was an issue during my younger years, I had to masturbate as fast as possible to avoid getting caught. Pair that with porn overuse, and I couldn’t stay hard for extended lengths of time.
You may need to relearn your masturbation habits. One of the best things about living in the 21st century is the wide availability of natural solutions and devices to improve ejaculatory control.
For example, [cis] male-focused sexual wellness brand MYHIXEL offers solutions for those who need a little help lasting longer.
Using an innovative app and lifelike pleasure device, MYHIXEL solutions are perfect for penis-havers who want to improve their ejaculation control and enjoy themselves more in bed. The MYHIXEL Play educational app guides you to complete different activities and teaches you what’s happening when you ejaculate to ultimately help you gain better control.
The MYHIXEL I pleasure device is designed to be used for practicing and features vibrating and warming sensations for an almost realistic experience to prepare you for the real thing.
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Seek Professional Sexual Health Advice
Although premature ejaculation is the most prevalent male sexual dysfunction, it remains under-reported, according to the American Urological Association. Most penis-havers don’t talk about their sexual concerns due to embarrassment, fear, and disappointment. However, they don’t know that these issues are caused by not only physical and medical conditions but also psychological factors.
That’s why it’s best to seek advice and coaching from sexual health specialists. Talking to these professionals helps you understand what’s happening in your mind and body to gain better control of your ejaculation. And MYHIXEL offers yet another natural solution to address premature ejaculation.
If you’ve been experiencing PE from the beginning of your sexual life or you’ve been ejaculating in less than 3 minutes, the MYHIXEL MED solution is designed for you. It’s a combination of the MYHIXEL Play MED educational app, the MYHIXEL I pleasure device, and a free online consultation with sexual health professionals to address the issue in the privacy of your own home.
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Communicate for Anxiety Relief
According to the American Psychological Association, stress is one of the biggest arousal killers. How can you expect to stay hard and excited if you’re worried about your performance? The same goes for your partner. Thus, make sure to talk to your partner.
Communicate your worries beforehand, and it’ll help you open up with each other and calm down. If anything goes wrong during sex, you can also be honest and discuss what’s going on. Perhaps being more open the first time won’t fix your challenges. But over time, sex will improve.
If you’re not yet comfortable doing the “talk” with your partner, you can always go back to our previous tip. Anonymously talking to a doctor gives you a safe space to address the issue without the fear of sexual anxiety and embarrassment.
Drink Your Partner In
One cool trick to reduce stress or stop yourself from coming too soon is to change your focus. Instead of focusing on your pleasure or lasting longer, drink all of your partner in. Look deeply into their eyes, appreciate their body, observe how your touch affects them… Activate all your senses and notice what gives them pleasure.
There will be less pressure when you do this, and your presence and enjoyment will increase. Not only will you control ejaculation and last much longer, but your partner will appreciate the attention.
Switch Positions, Mix Things Up
As you get to know your body and how it works, you’ll also discover that certain positions make you come faster, and others make you less aroused. Use this knowledge to your advantage.
For example, if you find yourself getting too close to ejaculation, find another position. Switch the angle, tempo – make sex feel totally different. There’s no rule to stay inside once you’ve penetrated. Instead, you can try thrusting your penis in a few times, withdraw, and use your fingers to keep going.
By mixing it up and making it fun, you’ll be able to last much longer.
Do Deep, Relaxed Breaths
If you observe yourself, you’ll notice that your breath becomes shorter and shorter right before you ejaculate. With this information, it’s possible to calm yourself down with long, deep breaths through the diaphragm.
As I previously mentioned, it’ll get easier to control yourself during the process if you practice this during your masturbation sessions. Mute the sensations away from your penis, focus on the sound of your breath, and you’ll be able to calm down.
Bring Some Backup
Finally, why not make it easier if you find yourself working too hard? There’s a whole smorgasbord of sex toys to help you out. For example, you can use vibrators on different erogenous zones to add more sensations and variety to your lovemaking sessions. You can focus on your partner, or you can incorporate your MYHIXEL I pleasure device into your sex play.
While the MYHIXEL I is not your usual sex toy as it’s part of the MYHIXEL methodology to help folks with PE, it is VERY PLEASURABLE – thanks to its anatomically realistic design, vibrating feature, and warming system.
And nope, using sex toys will not make you less of a lover. No toy can ever replace you and the sensations you bring to the table. So destroy any doubts you might have and start having fun!
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The Bottom Line
There are many ways to control orgasms, so you can choose when to ejaculate and enjoy more in bed. While natural methods require some practice or take some time to accomplish, they’re free from unwanted side effects and have long-term benefits for you and your overall sexual health.
Dainis Graveris is a certified sex educator, relationship expert, and managing editor at SexualAlpha.com. With over 13 years of writing experience, he's passionate about creating sex-positive guides to break the stigma surrounding sexuality. You'll often find him studying and testing sex toys and writing unbiased reviews to help couples keep the spark alive.