"Honey, you've earned a spanking tonight. You've been very naughty."
Erotic spankings, also known as impact play, are a cornerstone of kink activity for many. And there are a plethora of toys out there to make it even more fun.
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Do words like that cause your body to flush with arousal? Don't worry—you're not alone! Many couples engage in consensual and erotic spanking; many others are interested in giving it a try. Erotic spankings are called "impact play" in the BDSM world and they're considered a cornerstone kink activity for many couples.
While any person's hand can act as the perfect spanking implement, some creative, kinky people have given us a world of toys to experiment with. The magic of impact toys is that they can each provide a unique sensation—and they look pretty badass in your hand! Each impact toy also requires its own skillset to wield while providing an entirely different experience for the receiver.
In other words, impact toys give you a whole new way to think about adult spankings!
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READ: Your Hand, My Ass: Erotic Spanking for Beginners
But before we dive into all the fun toys you can use to spank your partner to your (and their) heart's delight, we have to talk safety. Hitting someone has risks, after all. So, as with any kinky activity, don't forget to agree on a safeword before playing.
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Impact play isn't the place for letting your ego get the best of you. Some impact play toys (notably whips and/or dragon's tails) can (literally) rip the skin off of someone. Ensure you know how to use your tool—safely and with control—before doing it on a human being. Pose and threaten with all the toys you want; but when it comes down to it, ensure you know exactly what sensations you will provide—both in terms of location and intensity—when you pick up a tool. If you can't promise that, you're not ready to use that implement. (Paddles are a very safe impact play toy to start with; start there!)
I also recommend testing out any new spanking implements on yourself before turning them on your partner. Sitting down, most impact play implements can be tested on your thigh. This can give you a good idea of what pressure results in what sensations—which can make you a much safer top—and make you better able to control the "feel" of what you're trying to provide.
Finally, start lightly with any new implement during a impact play scene. This can give your partner time to adjust and determine what they can handle. There will be tons of time to whack with all your strength as the scene continues; but start back at square one each time you switch implements because each individual toy feels different (and that's part of the fun)!
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If you'll be playing with someone who's new to impact play, or you'll be testing out a variety of new sensations with them, I highly recommend agreeing to a numbered system. Starting off lightly, after each swat, the bottom reports back how intense that felt on a scale from one to 10.
Not only does this give you a good idea about how intense the sensations are, but it also allows you to better understand your bottom to be able to take them where you want them to go during your scene.
OK, now on to the toys!
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READ: Safe, Sexy Spanking Tips for Two One of the easiest items to pick up and use, a paddle is something you've likely seen time and time again. A spanking paddle makes flat contact with the skin; and its short length and flat surface makes it very easy to wield. Spanking paddles are available in multiple designs and materials. Their easy and accurate handling makes them great for beginners, so paddles tend to be where most people start their impact play journeys. Much like floggers and other types of impact toys, paddles vary widely in intensity depending on their material and construction. Rigid paddles will likely hurt less than many flexible paddles. Paddles made from faux fur will likely feel almost like a massage, while paddles made from silicone, wood, acrylic or hard leather will provide an intense stinging sensation. A large paddle will likely feel like it hurts less than a paddle that only strikes a concentrated area. That's the power of diffusion at work!
What It Is
How It Feels
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Experiment with various types of paddle materials and designs to find the ones that match your impact interests. Whether you are seeking pain or only seeking a nice massaging sensation, you can find a paddle that matches your interests!
READ: What's the difference between a wood, leather or silicone spanking paddle?
How to Use It
Paddles are, by far, the simplest of all of the impact toys. It's easy: Hit your consenting partner with the flat side of a paddle!
Especially if you're new, though, stick with the butt and thigh area to keep things as safe as possible while providing the most pleasant sensations.
How to Take Things Further
If you want to intensify your experience with a spanking paddle, try a two-sided version. Each side of the paddle will be made of a different material (such as faux fur on one side and leather on the other). You just flip the paddle over to immediately switch sensations.
I also recommend alternating hand spankings with paddle spankings. Your hand will get tired less quickly and you'll still get to feel that skin-on-skin contact!
You can also try spanking the exact same spot on the body over and over. Concentrating on one spot will instantly make the sensation more intense—without purchasing a sex toy.
Try These Paddles
Learn More About Paddles
Paddling is a pretty common impact play activity—so (lucky for you) Kinkly has some really helpful guides on it:
- An Introduction to Paddles: Safety, Size and Materials
- 8 Tips for Buying Your First Spanking Paddle
- Sex Toy Review: Kinklab Thunderclap Paddle
What It Is
After some beginners have tried out paddles, they're clamoring to enjoy the unique design of a flogger. One step past paddles, floggers consist of multiple strands of a long, string-like material attached to a handle. When swung, the tips of these strands should hit the designated target. While harder to use than paddles, learning the basics of gentle flogging is still workable with 15 minutes of practice.
How It Feels
Floggers can feel like the best massage you've ever received or the meanest spanking you can imagine. It all depends on the way the flogger is made and how it's used. Heavier weight floggers are likely to create a massaging sensation, while lighter ones are likely to be a bit more painful.
Material plays a part too. Soft materials such as suede or faux fur will offer a gentler feeling, while harsher materials like unsoftened leather or rubber will deliver a sharper strike with a lot more bite. (I've seen kinksters fall asleep from the massaging sensation of a suede flogger!)
There are even some floggers out there made out of barbed wire or other sadistic materials—nobody said kinksters weren't creative!
How to Use It
Floggers can take a bit of practice to use correctly. Unfortunately, it's also a bit hard to explain how to wield a flogger without a demonstration. Consider finding a course on flogging at a local sex shop; there are also a number of educational videos on YouTube.
The basics, however, include using various wrist motions to allow the tips of the flogger's tails to touch an intended point on the receiver's body. This can include rolling the wrist, a gentle back and forth motion, and other unique movements.
It's imperative that you practice these movements on inanimate objects before you move on to using them on a partner. While it may look easy at first, aiming a flogger properly can be difficult and misplaced aim can be dangerous at worst (like direct strikes to the kidneys). But even at best, flogger wraparound can be a sharp, unexpected pain you didn't mean to cause.
(Imagine aiming for a penis-owning person's lower butt, but because your technique isn't practiced, you actually hit the area with the mid-point of your flogger's strands. The momentum of the tip of the strand can—and will—wrap around the body, and in this case, it provides a nice, strong ball tap to the bottom's testicles.)
If you want to jump right in, it's recommended that you start off with a very gentle flogger, such as one made from faux fur, as you perfect your flogging technique.
How to Take Things Further
You might be surprised to learn that position makes a big difference in impact play.
A flogger can feel entirely different standing than it does bent over. So, if you want to take your flogging to the next level, I recommend trying out new positions—or new locations on the body! Standing while spread eagle (like on a St. Andrew's Cross) is common, but you can also explore bent over or laying flat to see how it impacts the sensation.
Looking for even more of a challenge? Consider trying to wield two floggers at once! Called florentine flogging, it's not for the beginner—and it's definitely beautiful to watch!
Try These Floggers
Learn More about Floggers
While not quite as popular as paddles and spanking, flogging still has a nice following. Check out Kinkly's flogging catalogue to expand your knowledge:
- What is a Flogger? (from the sex dictionary)
- Floggers 101: How to Get Your Flog On
- 6 Steps to Choosing a Flogger
What It Is
You won't catch these fun sensation toys in too many hardcore impact scenes, but ticklers have earned their place in many toy bags.
Primarily used for the unique feelings they can provide, ticklers are sensation-inducing items and are usually attached to the top of long rods so they can be used from a distance. Sensation toys can include, for example, soft suede strands, feathers, metal beads, metal strands and/or rubber strands.
How It Feels
Ticklers can run the gamut from "naughty" to "nice." When used for their initial purpose, ticklers feel soft and gentle on the skin—and usually lead to tickling and laughing (which might be sadistic in itself if you hate being tickled)! When used more roughly, ticklers can leave a stinging sensation and marks on the skin.
How to Use It
To use a tickler for tickling, use a light hand and run the tickler softly across your partner's skin. Try to choose areas that are more sensitive for better results.
While ticklers are primarily used for tickling, these small, portable sex toys can be used for impact play as well. Instead of using the tickler in a dragging motion, use it in more of a spanking fashion.
However, be gentle with these toys for impact! While a feather doesn't do much damage for a spanking, the plastic rod it's attached to will. Also, remember to mind the tickler's rubber topper. This can add unintended pain when they contact your partner's skin!
READ: I like being spanked but my partner is worried about hurting me. What should we do?
How to Take Things Further
Don't be afraid to mix things up in a single scene. Start softly with gentle tickles with your tickler and then mix in a light tap with the plastic of the tickler rod. There's no reason you have to be only naughty or only nice.
And if you love ticklers, consider amassing a collection. With your partner blindfolded, gently touch their skin with the different ticklers and ask them to identify exactly what item they're currently feeling. If they don't get it right—well, you can come up with a playful punishment for that, can't you?
Try These Ticklers
Learn More about Tickling and Sensation Play
Ticklers happen to fall squarely into the "sensation play" realm—which, broadly speaking, pretty much includes anything done with the intention of making a unique sensation.
As you can imagine, that category can be huge! Learn more about sensation play—and ticklers—in these articles
- The Ultimate Guide to Sensation Play
- Webinar: BDSM & Sensation Play
- Knismolagnia: Why Some People Get Turned on by Tickling
- This Inexpensive Sex Toy Is My Go-To Foreplay Tool
What It Is
Slap, slap, slap! What if you enjoy the sound of a good spanking but not so much the pain that tends to come with it? That's what a slapper is for!
Made from multiple pieces of material, when the slapper is spanked against the skin, the two pieces of material come together for a loud "slap" noise. It sounds a whole lot more painful than it is. The slapper's job is to sound super kinky and painful—without necessarily being so.
How It Feels
Slappers sound more painful than they actually feel. While a hard hit from a slapper can definitely sting, the sensation will pale in comparison to a regular paddle made from the same material. Since a slapper can produce that pleasant "slapping" noise without much force behind the strike, slappers can be used relatively lightly while still offering the fun noise of a heavy spanking session.
How to Use It
Slappers are just as simple to use as paddles: Holding the handle, spank the slapper onto the skin where you'd like to spank. That's it!
Experiment with the angle and the intensity to find the exact strike that will make the most noise.
Some of slapperrs also include designs built into the surface. With enough force, these designs can be imprinted onto the skin. (If you're doing that, though, make sure you've negotiated leaving marks—just in case! And if you're trying to leave marks, it takes a sturdy, strong swat on unspanked, unreddened skin.)
How to Take Things Further
If you're the top, don't be afraid to use a slapper on yourself too! You know it doesn't hurt that much—but your partner won't know right away. When they're coming into the bedroom, feel free to tap the slapper on your thigh to let them know what they're in for. It won't hurt much, but it'll sound pretty scary.
Start that scene anticipation with a bang!
READ: How to Make Foreplay the Main Event. A mixture between a cane and a paddle, riding crops are known for their versatility. Also used in equine sports as an encouragement tool, riding crops are long, flexible (usually plastic, in kink) rods with a unique tip at the end. The tip's flexibility and the material will drastically affect the sensation the crop produces. Riding crops can be used gently or not-so-gently; it's up to you and your partner! The tip of a riding crop has a very centralized sensation. While the sensations of a paddle will be spread out around a large area, the tip of a riding crop is usually around an inch in size. Depending on how much force is put behind the strike, it can feel particularly painful—or it can feel closer to a gentle tap. The amount of force behind the strike is the deciding factor behind how the crop feels. Using the rod of the riding crop, however, feels much like a cane: pretty stingy and painful. As many riding crops are not necessarily designed to be used like canes, attempting to regularly strike, roughly, with the length of the riding crop can lead your toy to an early grave. A riding crop can produce two distinct sensations: A riding crop's long reach can be fantastic for keeping submissive partners in line. This can be particularly helpful if you have a fitness kink. If your partner's form starts suffering, a light tap from the riding crop should be all you need to get them back in line. Not much for erotic exercise? OK. How about some fun, playful tasks around the house? Ask your partner to roll a can of soup across the living room using only their nose while crawling on their hands and knees. A light tap of the riding crop will make sure they know this isn't a laughing matter. While not as popular as floggers or paddles, riding crops still have earned their place in the impact play hall of fame. Learn more about riding crops: Not for the beginner, whips are long, hard-to-control strands of material. When used correctly, they can barely graze the skin in a small area—and leave their mark just the same. When used incorrectly, they can remove layers of skin—and relatively quickly at that. When used as intended, whips are going to hurt—a lot. They're designed to leave a trail of intense, painful sensation and some marks that come with it. However, when held by a trained player, whips can be used just for show (without making contact with the skin) or just barely making soft contact. Whips are not usually the tool of choice for those who don't enjoy pain. Whips should not be used on human skin without training—preferably in-person training. However, they can make a fantastic visual (and a perfect prop to that dominatrix outfit you've been planning). Consider planning an outfit and a scene entirely around the existence of the whip. Dress in erotic, dominating clothing and show off the evil, mean whip before blindfolding your partner. Once they're blindfolded, gently run the whip over some of their most sensitive areas - and tease them about how you might be forced to use it if they don't behave. Swap out to a flogger or riding crop if they ever cause you to make good on your threat. When it comes to impact play, canes are the holy grail of "ouch!" and they aren't for the faint of heart. Their unassuming, rod-like shape makes them relatively easy for beginners to wield, but these cylindrical toys can hurt—and cause bruising and bleeding—relatively easily. Flexible, thinner canes tend to produce a sharper, harsher pain while more rigid, thicker canes are less painful (though still much more intense than most other items on this list). Canes do not feel soft, sensually pleasant, or thuddy. Expect a sharp stinging sensation upon striking. The pain can "radiate" to the skin around the original strike as well. Canes are often used for those who are seeking marks, seeking pain, seeking a high from endorphins, or for discipline. Strikes of a cane within a scene can usually be counted within two hands—whereas a flogging or spanking can go on for hundreds of repetitions depending on the play. If you're a beginner to impact play and spankings, I'd recommend staying away from canes. You need a thorough understanding of nerve placement and impact play safety before picking up one of these toys. (Honestly, there's tons of fun to be had long before even looking at a cane!) However, once you feel you're ready to play with canes, you should still take utmost care. Once you pick out your cane (more rigid, thicker ones will be easier to handle), you should try using it on the tops of your own thighs—you really need to understand exactly how much these toys can hurt. With an understanding of how much power you're putting behind each swing, you can then take it to a partner. Start very, very softly, and make sure you and your partner are both ready for the sharp pain canes can cause. Remember that discussion about "wraparound" when we talked about floggers? Canes—especially flexible ones—can experience wraparound too. Take this into account as you're learning this new skill. Consider using a cane for a standalone scene. Tell your partner you're going to hit them five times, and that you expect them to count out loud. Start (and stay!) extremely gentle throughout all five strikes. Don't worry—you'll still get a good reaction! Who said every impact toy you have has to come from a sex shop? No one! "Pervertables" are what we call the everyday household items that we "pervert" into sex toys. In this case, we're turning random things into spanking implements! Consider kitchen utensils or even basic cardboard boxes! Just be willing to kiss your pervertable goodbye. As it turns out, a lot of common household objects will break when used outside of their intended purpose—such as for spanking an unruly partner. Common pervertables include hair brushes, spatulas, wooden spoons, rolled up newspapers, and more. READ: Pervertables: The Ultimate Guide to Using Household Items as Sex Toys. How your pervertable feels will depend largely on what it is. Because most of these household items were never designed to be spanked against the skin, it's likely that most of the sensations will fall on the "ouchy" side of the spectrum. Make sure to take things lightly until the two of you have figured out how the particular item feels. If you'd like to try a pervertable without the "ouchy," consider an empty cardboard wrapping paper or paper towel roll. Cardboard has a nice, thuddy noise to it without the "bite" of other impact items. Since every pervertable's sensation varies based on the item itself, you'll want to start off slowly. I recommend spanking yourself on the tops of your thighs to get a good idea of how the implement feels at various intensity levels. Once you know that, you can take it to your partner. Make sure to start softly and gradually increase the intensity as you and your partner figure out just how much pain your plaything can produce. As pervertables can (and regularly do) break, make sure to keep your spanking trajectory in mind. Otherwise, you might find that the head of your kitchen spatula flies off mid-strike—and destroys your 80-inch TV. Consider finding an easily breakable item around the house that you don't mind destroying. It can be great fun to break a tool over your partner! (Again, increase intensity gradually to ensure you don't push your partner too far.)What It Is
How It Feels
How to Use It
How to Take It Further
Try These Riding Crops
Learn More about Riding Crops
What It Is
How It Feels
How to Use It
How to Take Things Further
(Pictured: 665 Agony Cane)
What It Is
How It Feels
How to Use It
How to Take Things Further
What It Is
How It Feels
How to Use It
How to Take Things Further
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Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
