How do you learn? Are you a book reader? Workshop attendant? App user? Try as you go? Learning comes in many different forms, particularly when it comes to sex. This week's Sex Stories We Love explores some of the different avenues offered to us for advancing our sexual knowledge.
Sex Stories We Love: The (Non-Existent) Talk, There's an App for That, & Better Than Fiction
The (Non-Existent) Talk
Everyone likes to think that parents are the gateway to introducing the topic of sex to kids. And that parents then answer as many of their questions as possible. Sigh. Are we ready to abandon this fallacy yet? This quaint notion just isn't true. Kids learn about sex from friends, media, the Internet, and school. With a long-time prevalence of sex negative thinking through many generations, the "sex talk" diminished to reacting to a child's growing sexuality instead of generating a proactive discussion. And hey, I can add to that experience because I could have done a better job, too. If you're a parent wondering how to talk to your kids about sex (and other topics), Lisa Damour offers some great tips.
Teaching Teachers about Sex Ed
So, kids are going to learn about sex at school. Really, kids must learn about sex at school. Enshrining comprehensive sex ed in curriculum is vital to ensuring that all young people are receiving the same societally-imperative information. Sex is ingrained in our world, as much as arts, science, math, and other school topics are. And these aren't even their children! So it is awesome to see that some educators are getting schooled in sex education techniques by sex educators.
Carry On, Sex Week!
Now, once your kids are out of high school and possibly off at college or university, your job isn't done. Parents and adult children should still have meaningful conversations about sex. However, the education part does shift to the young adult's responsibility instead. We should never stop learning about sex. And you'd think a college or university setting would be ideal for that in a social and academic sense. For the most part, many institutions of higher education do offer sex-related events to benefit both students and community. However, the University of Tennessee at Knoxville has been embroiled in a multi-year stand-off over Sex Week that has gone all the way to the state legislature. The lengths taken have been astonishing and continue on. Ridiculous.
There's an App for That
Back when the Sex Week foolishness started, these events on campuses were a great way to supplement sex education. Since that time, another great means has come out: sex ed apps! With the rise of smart phones, these apps are a great way to connect with sex information anywhere and at any time. Because of some of the ways toxic masculinity presents itself, a lot of men do not have the option of talking to their friends about sexual questions and concerns. And based on data collected from users of Juicebox, guys have a lot of questions and concerns about sex! If you think this type of interaction would be helpful for you, research different sex ed apps to find the one that's right for you!
Better Than Fiction
For some folks, fiction provides the best examples to learn from. A well-crafted tale can contain so much that speaks to people, even if the characters and situation are constructed. When it comes to sex, specific and explicit sex manuals are great for teaching the mechanics of sex; the how-to information as well as where to fit tab b into slot a. On the other hand, erotica is always a great way to discover about new sexual experiences you just might be interested in enjoying. With erotica, you can revel in the intimate pleasures of people apart from yourself, but feel their passion and excitement at the same time. And there is a lot of great erotica out there, full of many different sexual fantasies. Ready for some reading?
Finally, of all the different portrayals across television and movies, don't Morticia and Gomez Addams remain a great example of sex and relationship who we can all learn from?
Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.