How to pleasure

The Do’s and Don’ts of Hot Oral Sex

Published: APRIL 30, 2020 | Updated: AUGUST 29, 2021
If you want to make going down a real treat for both of you, you have to abide by a few simple rules.

Oral sex. It's an amazing foreplay technique, a major turn-on, a great appetizer to sex, or a full-course all on its own. Whether you give it or receive it, it is an extremely arousing and intimate way to interact with your partner's body.


But there are rules... if you want to ensure it's pleasurable for everyone involved, that is (and of course, you do, right?).

Want to make going down a real treat? Here are some tips and tricks, and some traps to avoid!

Do Know Your Anatomy

It is important to know and understand your partner’s nether regions. And it is a region, even when it comes to oral sex. Think of it as a map.


In that case, the first thing to know is that there is a lot more ground to cover than just their clitoris or shaft. If you understand how to work with the whole area - and even the whole body - you'll be on your way to giving much better oral stimulation.


The labia minora and majora (inner and outer lips) are both sensitive to stimulation, as are the nerve endings at the entrance of the vagina. Flicking your tongue and sucking these areas will make your partner's toes curl.

And of course, the clitoris is key. Just don't go there first, OK?



The frenulum (underside of the head of the penis), the corona (the ridge of the head) and the urethral opening are extremely sensitive. Giving this area some extra time and attention will leave your partner begging for more.


The perineum (the space between the vaginal opening and anus, or the scrotum and anus) is sensitive to stimulation and can be stimulated by mouth or manually. Stimulating this area is a way to stimulate the G-spot in vulva-owners and the prostate in penis-havers.

The best (and most fun) way to discover the body is to explore it, so test out some new techniques from time to time and see how your partner responds. You and your partner may be surprised to find all the hidden pleasure zones you didn't even know about.


Don't Forget Technique

Oral sex (great oral sex anyway) involves more than just using the tongue for stimulation. You should use the entire mouth: the lips, the teeth (only by request) and the entire tongue - not just the tip, but the ridge and surface as well.

Alternating between using different parts of the mouth in different combinations will always keep your partner guessing about what you’ve got up your sleeve next.

Want to level up your technique? Check out Beducated's online courses on cunnilingus and blowjobs and learn how to really rock your partner's world.


Do Communicate

One of the simplest things you can do for better sex is communicate with your partner. We're not saying to stop in the middle of oral sex and ask your partner for a performance review. But it's always good to check in with your partner after the act and ask if there's anything you can do better.

If your partner is going down on you, make sure to tell them what you like and don't like as well. If they're missing the spot, tell them higher or lower, left or right, softer or harder, faster or slower. Assuming you partner cares about your pleasure and experience, they'll be more than happy to have some guidance!

Humans aren't mind readers. We have to talk about sex to get better at sex!


Do Keep It Neat and Clean

It's always a considerate measure to make sure that your genital area is clean before oral sex, especially if your partner or yourself are new to oral sex and find the act a bit intimidating.

By keeping it clean, we really just mean clean your folds and trim your pubes, people.

Genitals are never going to smell or taste like freshly baked cookies (and they shouldn't!). Vaginas smell and taste like vaginas, and penises smell and taste like penises.

Just take care to ensure your privates are somewhere you and your partner want to go!

Don't Forget a Few Extras

You can accompany and highlight oral sex by using other methods of foreplay. Analingus, better known as "rimming" or "salad tossing" is a great pairing to oral sex.

You can also combine penetration using your fingers or sex toys to add to the stimulation. Toys can also give your mouth a bit of a break without taking away from the pleasure.

Choose the types of toys you love! Be creative.

The only limit to oral sex is your imagination. And, um, possibly your flexibility.

Kinkly Staff

Sex is a bit like a secret society; everyone's doing it, it's just that no one talks about it. Kinkly's mission is to start that conversation, answer your questions and help you discover new and exciting things about sex, love and your body. We guarantee it'll be illuminating, enlightening, fun ... and a little kinky. And that's OK with us.No innuendos, no judgments and no apologies, just fearless, straight-up talk about sex.

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