Sex education

Sex Stories We Love: The Basics of Bum Fun, Bottoming Tips, & Into Position

Published: AUGUST 7, 2019 | Updated: FEBRUARY 14, 2022
In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we bid a very sexy hello to #analaugust!

Welcome to #analaugust! Every year, the sex world comes together through the backdoor! Be sure to keep your eye on that hashtag for amazing stories, tips, advice, and discussion around anal sex. This week's Sex Stories We Love gets in on the anal action!


The Basics of Bum Fun

Anal sex is like a box of chocolate. You really don't know what you're going to get until you give it a try. Even though anal is moving toward the mainstream of sexual experiences, there's still much stigma and misunderstanding about what can, might, and will happen during a butt sex bonanza. There is also a lot of ambiguity. Will it hurt? Maybe. Will it be messy? Possibly. Will I like it? Hopefully. Even though there's a potential for good, bad, or indifference, there are some constants you should do to make the best of your attempts at anal sex and hopefully produce sexytime success! Always remember, though: open discussion, consent, and lube.

Anal Sex Storytime

Simple fact about sex: pretty much everyone who tried anal has a story about their experience. And given that butt sex doesn't work for some folks, feels amazing for other folks, and downright rocks the worlds of some folks means that there are many different stories about anal sex. Yet, as with all recountings of sexual adventure, none should be taken as gospel. It will be rare, even in a long-term relationship, that all ass sex situations will always be similar. There are too many outside factors that can doom a backdoor session—even when the participants are keen and eager. Do you have an anal sex experience you'd like to share?

Listening to Women

In the mid-90s, I noticed a trend. Pegging, or strap-on anal with a male-identified person as receiver, sees an uptick in interest every two or three years. There are a bunch of articles about the "next big thing" in sex. Then after six months or so, the pegging trend dies down for a few years. And sure, it is great that more guys are getting into ass pleasure with each turn of the calendar. Yet, their experiences receiving anal sex can be very different than those of women who are the receivers. Because of patriarchy, male-centered pleasure, pressure, and consent issues. For many women, anal sex can be wonderful, but successful ass sex requires a number of factors, including discussion, consent, warm-up, lube,, etc. And these things are too often neglected in regular PiV sex. While men have issues related to receiving anal sex, I think centering om women's experiences is more important in setting positive possibilities for all.


Bottoming Tips

Okay, that said, queer folks are also right up there as those we need to listen to and heed when it comes to hot, ass-lovin'. I love Rose Dommu's fitting summation: "In a way, buts are inherently queer — a functional body part that is otherized by mainstream culture but reclaimed for pleasure." And we should listen because queer folks are often leading the way in setting sexual health examples. So, if you're gonna love some bum, you need to make sure you're giving your bum all the lovin' it needs. Take care of you ass-et.

Into Position!

Now that we've discussed the prep and sensations of buttsex, it might seem only natural that doggie style would be the preferred and expected position of choice. But, let's not assume. That makes an ass out of u and me. In reality, hot ass anal sex can happen in many positions. You might have to try a bunch to decide which you like best. Ass sex is not confined to doggie style. Ultimately, it might not even be your favourite. From beginner to advanced, the ultimate deciders are the ability to maintain communication, comfort, and of course, that fantASStic sensation!

Gay Babies...Anal Sex...WHAT?!

Finally, the winner for the most ridiculous thing said about sex in 2019: "Gay Babies Come from Anal Sex with Pregnant Moms." Go ahead and try to to (or bottom) that one!

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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