How to pleasure

The 5 Myths of Prostate Massage

Published: OCTOBER 24, 2019 | Updated: AUGUST 17, 2021
If you're interested in prostate play, don't let these myths hold you back.

Sex is full of opportunities to explore new and unknown pleasures. In fact, hot and sexy sensations are on offer all over our bodies - both inside and out.


One of the hottest hot spots right now is the prostate. This walnut-sized gland nestled on the anterior wall of the rectal cavity offers significant potential for cock-popping pleasure. Unfortunately, there are many myths and stigmas associated with prostate play and anal exploration.

Well, we're here to bust these myths. Many of them stem from misinformation - and they could be holding you back from experiencing some pretty mind-blowing pleasure.

Read: Here's How to Massage the Prostate Using a Sex Toy


It Hurts

Here’s the thing: anal sex is super popular now but there is still plenty of concern that bum fun comes with bum pain. Now, there’s no denying that anal penetration can hurt, but it is also very possible to enjoy anal pleasure without the ouch. And, if you’re going to go spelunking for the prostate, one way to reach this type of sexual joy is by taking the back road home.

The fear of big pain holds many people back from exploring prostate pleasure. But for most people, if you're approaching this area with care and patience, pain won't be part of the picture. If you’re interested in taking the plunge, some tried and true tips can help reduce the prospect of ass fun discomfort. Go slow. Use lots of lube. Communicate with your partner about the sensations and feelings throughout the experience. Experiment with toys. Check out forums. Then (gently) experiment to find what works for you. Everybody who really gets into anal finds their best methods to make it feel fantastic.

Aneros MGX Syn Trident
The MGX Syn Trident is specially designed for beginners. It's slim and covered in soft silicone for smooth insertion, but shaped for excellent, targeted prostate stimulation.

If you're one of the few folks who just doesn't dig penetration, don’t fear! If you really want your prostate to purr, you can try another technique that doesn’t involve direct stimulation through the anal canal.


The prostate can be indirectly stimulated by massaging an area in the center of the pelvis between the pubic bone and your belly button. While this method is a little more challenging, easier external access can be found via your perineum (”taint”). The taint lies in close proximity to the prostate and is an acupressure spot covering the pudendal nerve that interconnects the penis to the prostate and rectum. This area is a sensory hot spot that is very responsive to stimulation of all kinds, including vibrating toys.

It's Messy

This is a common fear when it comes to anything to do with one's rear. But, you'll be happy to discover that prostate massage isn't messy for most men. Simple precautions can help keep the activity clean and fun:

  • Engage in prostate massage after emptying your bowels
  • Take a shower and clean your anus (inside and out!)

If you're extra concerned about mess, you can even consider doing an enema beforehand. However, that isn't necessary for most prostate-owners to avoid mess during massaging! Keep some baby wipes nearby to help make you feel extra clean and you're ready to roll!


It's Only for Gay Men

The most visible evidence that anal pleasure is experiencing a major upswing is its prevalence in porn. Currently, that prevalence predominantly features folks with vulvas receiving anal penetration. As a result, there is still some stigma floating around that bum fun is not supposed to be enjoyed by heterosexual, cis men. Despite the long-known pleasure other men receive from sex, some straight dudes are still hesitant to try anal exploration - despite the promise of outstanding orgasms and superb sensation.

Here’s some straight talk for straight, ass-fearing guys: this thinking is ridiculous! And, in fact, you’re denying yourself a tremendous source of pleasure. The truth? How you enjoy your body is not a reflection of your sexuality. It's time to get over this antiquated idea!

Women Aren’t Into It?

So, you’re a hetero fella who enjoys sex with your straight female partner and you want to try prostate massage. But you don’t think she’d have any interest in slipping a finger or toy up your butt ... because ... why would she? You figure, why would a straight woman want to touch a dude’s ass - there’s nothing in that for her!


Here’s the (prostate) rub: many, many women enjoy and get off on touching their partner’s anus (and seeing the pleasure it delivers!), and that definitely includes giving prostate pleasure. Sure, the main focus in the rise of bum fun porn has been on women receiving anal play, but take a look around the porn world: pegging is also very popular - and not just in porn! Hetero women penetrating their hetero partners anally has been all the rage for decades now and it makes perfect sense that that desire also extends to coupled prostate play.

If you're a straight guy who's assuming his female partner isn't into prostate play, the real problem might be a classic lack of communication. If you want your prostate tickled, try asking! Of course, not everyone will be interested in providing internal massage, but you’ll never know unless you get the idea out of your head and past your lips.

Aneros Vice 2
A remotely controlled prostate toy can be a great way for couples to dip their toes into anal play. The Vice 2 by Aneros is a classic choice. It's powerful, pleasurable and can be controlled from across the room.


All Orgasms Are the Same

In fact, they’re not. To begin with, it’s important to understand that while orgasm and ejaculation seem like the same thing, they are actually two different events. Ejaculation occurs as a result of orgasm, not the other way around. Why is this significant? Because it’s possible to separate them and have orgasms without ejaculation.

As it turns out, prostate massage is one of the best ways of achieving it! So why would you want to do this? For starters, prostate orgasms can be far more intense than traditional ejaculatory orgasms. Sometimes referred to as Male G-spot or Super Orgasms many people describe them as whole-body experiences that can last minutes instead of the all too brief seconds at a time. And if that’s not enough, because there is no ejaculation, there’s no loss of arousal that follows, meaning it’s possible to have multiple orgasms of this kind.

While it’s true that some people will not be able to score this right out of the gate, there are other experiences that lie in store for those who do the deep dive. Prostate massage combined with penis stimulation can produce a hybrid orgasm that is much more powerful and more satisfying than that achieved with penis stimulation alone. And on the flip side, some people have reported having hands-free ejaculations (with orgasm) without any penis stimulation at all.

Orgasms come in all colors, shapes and sizes, and while most people believe they know everything their bodies have to offer, the truth is, in most cases, they haven’t even scratched the surface.

Self-discovery and having new experiences are about finding a new path, in this case it’s a path that leads you in through the out-door. Don’t be deterred… check it out!

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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