Sex education

Sex Stories We Love: Oscar Gets Wet, Filling Out Schedule 69, & No Glazing Over This Issue

Published: MARCH 14, 2018 | Updated: FEBRUARY 14, 2022
In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we're taking a trip to the sexual market!

Get your bundle buggy ready. This week's Sex Stories We Love is taking a trip to the sexual market.


Oscar Gets Wet

There might not be any stronger brand endorsement than a win at the Academy Awards. Yet, it isn't too often that an Oscar trophy can boost the sales of a sex toy! There's nothing fishy about this story, though...except the fish-man dildo inspired by the Best Picture winning film The Shape of Water. Apparently, water...or, er, fish-man penis is mostly phallic-shaped with some extra ridges, kind of like the character's back. Fans of the movie, or people who are just curious about new sex toys, have put a run on the unique sex toy. The dildos sold out just before the Oscars. You just never know when you're going to catch lightning in a bottle...or a fish-man in a bathtub.

Who Runs the World?

We just might be entering the golden age of sex products, toys, and devices. Much of the ballyhoo and talk is focused on sex robots, and surely we're going to move forward with some jetpack-futuristic shit soon. Yet, long before sex robots being a norm or even affordable or accessible to average consumers, we've got a tremendous selection of new and innovative sex products and ideas hitting the market that will knock our socks off! Part of what makes this such an amazing time is that many of these advances in sex tech are coming from women. I think we're noticing a big change already with better quality products and more ethical leadership. Let's keep this momentum moving forward by continuing to purchase from female-led companies and groups!

Filling Out Schedule 69

Of course, with the procurement and sale of goods and services comes the intersection with governmental regulations; the primary of which is taxes. The powers that be always want their cut of the action. Now, this isn't going to be the case in all jurisdictions, but in some places, such as Canada, sex work is legal and with that comes the obligation to pay taxes. Unfortunately, many citizens, particularly those offering independent services, are not as knowledgeable of their rights and responsibilities related to paying taxes - as well as the benefits they can receive. Hopefully, these great and sorely needed tax sessions for sex workers can be organized in other locales to benefit sex workers elsewhere.


Good for Me...You? Maybe?

If you read about sex regularly, read sex blogs, and follow the clickbait sites, you are inevitably going to come across posts and articles with declarative statements along the lines of "best sex toy ever!" Of course, as the inimitable Dangerous Lilly writes, there is no best sex toy ever. These are sex toys that people love and toys that numerous people agree work quite well for them during their sexy times. No toy is ever going to get a 100% guarantee to make you orgasm every single time it's used. It just isn't possible. However, maybe it is because we're talking about intimate products or maybe because they can be so expensive, there can be some outrage when a consumer buys a new vibrator and it doesn't live up to the reviews they read. This could be helped by two things: writers, calm down your use of hyperbole in reviews; marketers of toys, calm your proverbial tits with the hype. As in all sexual interactions, we need clear, straight talk. Reviewers tell us why you liked a toy for your experience. Companies, just tell us what it might be able to do for us.

No Glazing Over This Issue

So much is made about how vaginas smell. For years and years, bundle buggies were filled with different douches and sprays to somehow entice male partners to go near vaginas. In other words, we've been trying to make palatable for a long time. Now, the next generation of device comes along - underwear that smells like vanilla. Yup, these are coming close to becoming a reality through a crowdfunding campaign. Now, I don't personally have a vagina. So, please do read the article to get the nuances of the opposing points of view. However, I will offer that I agree with Dr. Jennifer Gunter on this one - as it relates to all humans. We've got parts. Sometimes they're not fresh. We need an understanding of others and their sometimes not fresh parts. We shouldn't shame anyone for this. We shouldn't feel ashamed when it happens. If you are uncomfortable with how your body is, that is valid. Yet, perhaps it's better to look for the underlying reason instead of cupcake-scented coverups.

Send Extra Napkins, Too

Finally, what could be better than a nice, fresh pizza shortly after a good orgasm? Not even having to get up to order it! Yup, there's an app that is connected to a vibe that orders food when you're done satisfying one craving and need to satisfy the other.

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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