Sex education

Sex Stories We Love: Carnal Concerns, Erogenous Exploration, & Lip Lock Learning

Published: JULY 13, 2016 | Updated: FEBRUARY 14, 2022
In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we look at the top concerns people have about sex, exploring erogenous zones, learn about kissing, and so much more.

One of the goals of Sex Stories We Love is to introduce readers to new ideas about sex and how to consider them in your world. Whether they be overarching themes or new, specific information, the goal is to tell you things you don’t know or were wondering about. And often, I learn new things too. Here are some of the top stories to think about from the past week.


Carnal Concerns

Sex can be a frightening proposition, particularly when it is the first time with someone new. Not even the first time, really. It's the first bunch of times. And according to this study, we have some pretty significant fears when it comes to sex. Those moments when we are physically intimate with another person or people seem to be a nerve wracking experience for many. When we choose to have sex, we give ourselves up to a vulnerability few other experiences can match. This results is a mixed bag of fear, with health, body image, and performance topping the list of concerns. What all of this underlines is the importance of communication. Whether your fears are manifesting with a hook-up or your long-term partner, talking it out can help.

Erogenous Exploration

Just as different people have different sexual worries, we all have different sexual wants. This is no secret. However, many folks get hung up on the idea that what their past partners enjoyed sexually will automatically work on anyone else they ever play with for ever. There is a presumption that while we may have different desires, we still want to be touched in all of the same erogenous zones. We might even think we know what that means, but this article does a great job explaining the two different types of erogenous zones and how they might appeal or not appeal to different people. A potentially pleasurable pursuit could be exploring non-specific erogenous zones while at the same time enjoying the fun of the specific ones. And “drawing a map?” Put your adventurer hat on and set sail for new lands of fun.

Small, Steamy Spaces

OK, I thought I might be the only one wondering how the hell people have sex in tiny houses. Now I know I’m not alone. You see, I grew up in a lot of small tents and trailers. I always wondered what sex would be like in such small spaces. Then, when I tried it, yup, there were a few bumped heads and leg cramps. So, this new phenomenon of tiny houses made me wonder if these people understand what they’re getting themselves into. Fortunately, there is one enduring human trait that sometimes gets forgotten (though I don’t know how): ingenuity, specifically, sexual ingenuity. If people are enclosed in a small space, they’ll still figure out how to fuck and have fun. It's as simple as that ... although any planned orgies might need to be fulfilled off-site.


Lip-Lock Learning

Maybe the key to having sex in a small space is that you don’t need much room for a truly romantic, sexy kiss. And for some, a good kiss can be a true benchmark of relationship and sexual happiness. But is a kiss just a kiss? Is it just an expression of love or lust or do we kiss for more significant reasons? Justin Lehmiller tells us the different studies that continue that are showing that a kiss is actually much more. That spit swap some of us adore? We’re sharin’ bacteria, baby, and isn’t that just super hot! Important? Yes. Sexy? Maybe not so much. It's still really important, so pucker up!

Insurance Idiocy

Is there ever going to be a time when the song “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” is a trivial artifact of a long-gone era? In another ludicrous example of sexual double standard, physicians are doling out Viagra and similar medications at a Halloween-esque rate. Got problems getting it up? Take this. And more likely than not, your insurance will cover it. No questions asked. Now, with the release of Addyi, the “female viagra,” women are interested in getting their own sexual dysfunction treated - and covered. Well, treated is one thing as doctors are prescribing the medication. However, insurance companies are requiring a psychiatric evaluation before covering the expense of Addyi for women. Dudes don’t need that extra requirement, even though some instances of male sexual dysfunction have been noted to be psychological. So why the double standard? Because we still know that song and culture.

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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